I, PUA

The Journey of a couple of budding Pick Up Artists

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

The moment vs The Goal


These are probably the ends of two extremes. Some people live for the moment, some are goal oriented. Can we have the best of both worlds? -- Yes.

What if your goal is to live your life to the fullest every moment? What if every moment is to contribute to some higher level goal? When I sarge people, do I have to actually achieve something at the end? or ultimately? What makes a sarge successful? Is it the #*! closes? Are you successful when you are happy spending time with people you like and not worry about anything.

Thats right, not worrying about anything. What are the causes of our frustration? Perhaps we worry too much, we worry that we will be alone, we worry that we are unattractive, we worry that we have no value in life, we worry that we are unwanted. Perhaps we worry about not getting another friend like that, perhaps we worry that there will be time when we are lonely and it will be shit, perhaps we worry about the next chick you hook up with will be ugly (or fat). Perhaps you worry that you will die alone.

As humans, we all fear those things. As PUA's we protect ourselves from those fears. That is because they are the source of problems. We mistakenly derive our "goals" from those fears, thinking that we will be happy if we get them solved. We are looking for something, something to fill that void inside our hearts. This is the reality. It is not about being goal oriented, to want something in life or not. It is insecurity, disguised as rational bullshit. "Living the moment" is just as bad, if you do it wrong - you are searching for that temporary solution, instant gratification, a distraction from your anxieties. You need that hit.

Can we really predict the future? No. Are our actions today going to affect the future? Probably yes, no matter how minute. So what should we focus on? THe moment or the goal? BOTH I say. You have to be really clear on what your goal is and you have to be spot on with how you make decisions in the moment.

6 Comments:

  • At 11:41 PM, Blogger Jimmy Foxx said…

    I've thought a great deal about worry. For the most part, it does nothing for you. It chews through your insides and makes you behave in counter-productive ways.

    When you think back about the times you worried about something, you almost always come to the conclusion "what was I so worried about?". Therefore, by logic, you really need to stop stressing about outcomes that will never eventuate.

    That's where confidence and sensibility plays a role for the PUA.

    Confidence is knowing that you possess many intellectual and life skills to fall back on.

    Sensibility is eliminating all the bullshit outcomes that you have invented in your own mind, and instead "keeping it real" - realising that you will always be OK, that you won't end up homeless on the streets, that you will always have family that you care about.

    Fear sux.

     
  • At 12:12 AM, Blogger Mimesis said…

    Stop worrying and start acting - "Dream as if you'll live forever, Live as if you'll die today"

    thats the attitude.

     
  • At 12:12 AM, Blogger Mimesis said…

    quote by James Dean BTW.

     
  • At 12:14 AM, Blogger Mimesis said…

    Hmmm, I have been kinda living the reverse -- Dream as if you will die today, and live as if you will live forever"

    DOH!

     
  • At 12:01 AM, Blogger Jimmy Foxx said…

    Yeah and I tell you what, a lot of people all of a sundden turn 45, and realise that they are middle aged and haven't done anything much with their life. Let's not be like that... and we won't.

     
  • At 12:27 AM, Blogger Jimmy Foxx said…

    "Are you successful when you are happy spending time with people you like and NOT worry about anything."

    This is what I do now.

    Women are strange and counterintuitive creatures. We must understand them. You have to play the game.

    With my mates, I don't wanna worry about a damn thing. No attitudes, no game-playing... just enjoying myself with cool people.

     

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