I, PUA

The Journey of a couple of budding Pick Up Artists

Monday, August 28, 2006

Flashback: May 08, 2006


I was curious about my past. I look back at my May post and man, was I inexperienced.

It is funny how I was totally disoriented. Now, it is clear that what happened then was I only had a "default value" and had no skills in interactions. OF COURSE IT WAS FUCKED!

Why? My value was low - I was not on a roll, I was not having a good, fun vibe, I was not radiating, glowing with vibrant and exuberant energy. I was not having much fun. I was not vibing. I did not have time to build that up and i did not "advertise" myself. I did not do things to create social proof, I did not get myself seen interacting and havnig fun, I was not making eye contact, I did not playfully AI other girls.

WOW, what a lot of things I didn't do that I do now. This was pre-approach work. You cannot approach unless you know you are on a roll. Those are the prerequisit for opening. Now, I know how to use those techniques to increase my value non-verbally, and more importantly, I know how much work I have to do before any interaction with the target and her immediate surroundings. I also know how to lower her value a little bit these days. This is necessary to give you room to move around - The higher your value is and the lower her value is, the easier it is for her to be attracted to you. You feel like "yes, its time to get down and dirty!"

If interest level is all that matters, you have created a good start. I had no idea how to do that back in may. I was on the right track, I wanted to learn AI and pre-approach. Perhaps I have improved on detecting buying signals, be more aware and know how to not waste time on "time wasters". Perhaps my vibing and energy is working. Whatever it is, my chances of creating high interest level in the beginning has increased dramatically. The rate of success is way higher than 50%, perhaps up to 70% sometimes. I can get 50 - 60% interest level pretty easily. Thats before any approach!

That was only part of the story and back in that time, I already knew that I need to pay more attention to the earlier part of the game. I think I am doing an OK job now, not superb, but perhaps something like 70% successful or something. After months of trial and error, wondering semi-blindedly, it is all summed up as - pre-approach DHV (Demonstration of high value).

Sunday, August 27, 2006

More evidence on the need to move on


This is from a RJ newsletter.
    I do feel I must warn you about one mistake beginners make: they
    will get good at the initial vibe of creating some comfort and
    curiosity, but then they will try to rely on that and fail to use the SS language patterns that build deeper emotional openness and captivate the imaginative centers of a woman's mind.

    Don't make that mistake.

    Once you have that initial receptivity and comfort going, move in with the smokin' hot Speed Seduction® tools or you will quickly fall into the friend category, unless you happen to accidentally be her type and the attraction is there simply by the fact that she is looking at you!
See, building rapport and intrigue is only the beginning. Don't stay there for too long. There are more than one source of information telling you that you have to do more! Stop being an idiot!

An excerpt from RJ news letters


I really identify with this and had discussed with Jimmy and Falcon about this before. I've posted about this as well...
    Me.: 'I can't believe I actually look forward to social situations now as an opportunity to learn. God, I remember not too long ago finding excuses to not go out'

    Ross: 'Wonderful. WONDERFUL. Please tell us the PROCESS by where
    you made this transition.'

    Me: I guess, little by little, I discovered that talking to people could be fun. This is from two angles. I lead an interesting life. At least I've recognized that most people live interesting/funny lives now ˆ they just don't know how to tell the story right. So discovering how to tell my stories (influenced by SS language) is great. But although I love performing I don't want to be just a performing monkey for her. More than that, if she is an interesting person then delving into her world with well worded questions can be really intriguing (to me and her). Like:

    -'What is it about X that you find so attractive/exciting?
    -'And how do you see yourself taking this to a new level?

    Also meditation, and it's associated increased awareness, is a huge key for me. It's during a meditative state that many of these revelations occurred. I think awareness of your state and results come naturally through repetition ˆ so that you begin to understand in steps how things operate. Meditation speeds up that process.

    Ross: 'And do you see, looking back, how ALL of the former limitations were ONLY IN YOUR MIND?'

    Me: I've been engaged intellectually with the idea that everything that you create is the result of the mind for a long time. You can know that but it's only when you've pushed through old realities many times that you believe this. I guess it's only when you find yourself breaking through barriers you weren't aware you'd created that this actually makes sense.

    My beliefs have undergone some major shifts. I've really internalized the idea that change, though often difficult, can be a very good thing. Ironically, after getting over the difficult part, you often look back and think „What was all the fuss about?‰. Some beliefs have shifted without realizing and others have occurred quite consciously. The beliefs I've adopted have been filtered through my life allow me to discover choices I never new existed.

excerpt from a Derek Vitalio news letter


Hmmm... Push-pull in the beginning, and reward-punishment after rapport is established (which, in my case, is immediately....) Ok, so, before homing into the target, Push-Pull her.

    One other thing – as you get to know a woman better and you enter the rapport stage, you shouldn’t lose the push-pull dynamic, but it should morph a bit. Into something more like reward and punishment – so you REMAIN an interesting challenge, but you use it to teach her what kind of behavior is acceptable for you.

    For instance, if she’s been great, you can take her to eat her favorite food. If she’s acting moody and bitchy, you can cut your time together short – ‘I don’t appreciate this kind of behavior, and I don’t deserve it. I’ll call you later when it’s out of your system.’

    Reward and punishment is a little trickier, and we’ll deal with it again at a later time. For now, focus on learning to PUSH just as well as you’ve learned to PULL.

    And if you want to know more about this dynamic and how it affects other aspects of dating – up to and especially including SEX – you should check out my course The Blueprint, full of perfect examples of BOTH behaviors being used in the right way. Nothing can teach you better than trial and error in your own situations – but the next best thing is seeing how OTHERS use tactics successfully. Check it out.

Reviewing my work


Hmmmm, The previous post got me thinking. What I have been working on so far have been DHV (demonstration of high value). The immediate values being able to connect with her, pleasures and social proof. Others include being different, confidence, entertainment, validation etc.

Perhpaps I should see it this way for awhile. This also got me thinking about the "entry points", e.g., when I enter into a sarging session with my target, I did not set a tone of challenge, I did not set a tone of "screening and acceptance". However, this is slightly contradictory to my initial approach where I am friendly and open.

I have to find ways to accomodate these two together to maximise the effect, to optimise DHV. Of course, it should not only be DHV, but also vibing, probing, connecting simultaneously. Why do one thing while you can do more? Well, there are things that are more appropriate to amp. up later, become the dominating purpose but it should never be absolutly linear.

Another post by Derek Vitalio


This is very interesting. The bit about Social value manipulation is very sinister to me. I dontk now what to think of it but I can see how it works. This is actually very effective in setting the tone of the interaction as well.


    Has this ever happened to you?

    You attempt to get a girl's phone number and she's evasive about it.

    Or if she gives it to you, when you do call her she doesn't pickup the phone.

    And if you do get in touch with her, she's too busy to meet up with you.

    Unless you have enough social value to a girl, you'll most likely receive this kind of evasive treatment from her.

    In previous reports I've discussed how you can build your social value to women in a number of ways through...

    ...social proof from other girls...

    ...screening and accepting her...

    ...and telling fun, interesting stories.

    If possible, you want to use all of these value-building elements in each seduction.

    For example, let's say you enter a club and see the best looking girl in the room, the Object of Your Desire (OYD).

    You engage other groups of girls in front of your OYD, collecting social-proof points. With social value now, you open the OYD's own group of friends and gain more social value by telling them stories and showing them cool demonstrations like reading their palms. You then screen the OYD hard, and if she passes, you accept her.

    However, building social value for oneself is only half of the equation.

    For while you want to BUILD your own social value, you can simultaneously work to LOWER hers.

    While your social value moves up, her social value can also move down.

    In mathematics, this is called an inverse relationship, in which when one variable increases, the other rises.

    The easiest and simplest way to lower a woman's value is to simply IGNORE her.

    Ignoring a woman has a deep psychological impact on her.

    It's a universal human trait to hate being ignored - especially by others with perceived authority and social value.

    Children who are routinely ignored by their parents often grow up to see the world as a cold place and desperately seek acceptance from others as adults.

    As teenagers, being ignored by one's peers is akin to a social death.

    And even moving to a new city where everyone treats you and ignores you like a stranger, living single and with few friends, can quickly grow emotionally exhausting.

    It's a basic emotional need for people as human beings to be accepted and paid attention to by over people they hold valuable.

    Ever been in the opposite situation where everyone's attention is on YOU and they're intently listening to what YOU have to say?

    Like perhaps you gave a speech to a crowd and got applause. Or perhaps you had a large role in a school play. Or perhaps you had a particularly good time with some girls where you were on a role telling stories and they all laughed, rapt with attention. Or perhaps you found yourself in a leadership position and everyone did exactly whatever you said - not because they had to, but because you emerged as the natural leader of the group.

    Any one of those scenarios feels pretty good. You probably even got quite an adrenalin rush and high from the experience.

    If you've had an experience like that, you know how powerful that high is. Now imagine it's exact opposite - being ignored. Being ignored is equally as powerful, except that it makes you feel like crap, like a loser.

    When you're ignored by people you hold valuable, it's as if your total sense of social value is sucked right out of your stomach. And without social value, you experience the feeling of "genetic death" - that without value, no woman will mate with you to pass on your genes.

    That's why we all like positive attention.

    Beautiful women look for positive attention more than anyone else. Beautiful women are attention junkies. Why else would they spend hours every day fixing their hair and getting dressed in uncomfortable clothes, high-heels, and makeup if they weren't looking for some positive attention?

    Beautiful women go to clubs to pump attention from men directly into their veins - it's like a drug fix that they can never satiate.

    Don't Give Beautiful Women Their Fix

    Imagine a beautiful woman who is NEVER ignored by men. She ALWAYS gets attention from them. She doesn't even know what being ignored feels like. She has a lot of social value and on an unconscious level, she knows it.

    Now imagine you open her group of friends and build social value for yourself by talking to all of them through stories, jokes, routines, and so on.

    But you ignore HER.

    You ignore the Object of Your Desire.

    You even talk to her friends with your back turned slightly AWAY from her.

    This is something she's never experienced before from a man.

    You are different from other men.

    She'll start to feel, "Why isn't this guy paying attention to me?"

    As she stands there, ignored by you and her friends, and no longer the center of attention, her social value deflates like a popped balloon.

    Pretty soon, she'll start to feel terribly uncomfortable that her social value has been body slammed to the floor through the simple phenomenon of - being ignored.

    And she'll get VERY antsy to win your attention VERY quickly.

    Why?

    Because, if she wins your attention, your social value will rub off back on her.

    As you'll see when you try this, within minutes most beautiful women will mentally "snap" from being ignored and try to win your attention back to them and away from their friends.

    For example, if you're reading her friend's palms but ignoring her, she might say, "Hey what about me!" or "Do me next!" or "Let me try!"

    Do not immediately give in to her request. If you immediately give in to her request, she'll have gotten her attention fix from you. Her social value will be restored. She's won you over - you're just another guy who will jump at her every little request.

    Instead, tell her teasingly, "Hey greedy fingers... you'll have to wait..."

    Then tell her friends, "Is she your friend? Boy does she have greedy fingers."

    Then continue to ignore her and continue to engage her friends.

    Her social value will continue to deflate while yours will continue to rise - an inverse relationship of social value. Your original social values will reverse. If you came in as an 8, you're now a 10. She falls from a 10 to an 8.

    After ignoring her for several more minutes, she'll be looking for any opening to receive your attention and acceptance of her - in just the same was as how most guys who approach her are looking to receive her attention and acceptance of them!

    How sweet it is when the tables are turned... hehe.

    This is when you turn to her and start the process of Screening and Acceptance.

    Do the math: Her value is lower than yours now. She's looking for your acceptance. You'll want to eventually give her your acceptance to move the seduction forward, but don't give it up right away. Screen her hard first.

    If you've done your job, she'll try to win your approval by passing any screening tests you give her.

    Then when she's passed your screening - and EARNED your approval, give it to her.

    Her social value will be restored in that moment.

    Give her all of your attention now.

    Now with her social value restored, she won't simply cast you away - since she had to work for your approval and attention. She knows she could lose it again at any moment if she doesn't live up to your standards.

    Her social value will rise back up to meet yours. You will now be conversing as EQUALS. She will treat you and respect you as her full equal, and easily fall in love with you.

    And as long as she feels that she had to WORK for and EARN your approval and attention, she'll have dopamine hormones flooding her head - the hormone responsible for love, desire, and wanting to chase a reward.

    So let's replay how this interplay of social value works.

    1. You enter the group
    Your social value: 7
    Her social value: 10

    2. You entertain the group, and ignore her
    Your social value: 10 (+3)
    Her social value: 7 (-3)

    3. You screen her, and finally accept her
    Your social value: 10
    Her social value: 10 (+3... earned through your acceptance)

    Now you're both 10s.

    And 10s sleep with 10s.

    It's very important that once she's won your approval, GIVE HER ATTENTION - she showed good behavior and deserves it. Do NOT continue to ignore her. If you do, you're moving BACKWARDS and repeating psychological conditioning that has already been accomplished.

    Obviously, you don't always need to ignore the Object of Your Desire to lower her value to get laid. For example, it may be completely unnecessary to ignore a girl who already has low social value - a girl that isn't particularly attraction for instance. Ignoring a girl to knock down her social value - when she already has low social value to begin with - could crush her ego.

    But when dealing with beautiful women, ignoring her followed by screening and acceptance will greatly increase your success rate. And the more beautiful the woman, the better ignoring her works!

    As you can see, the seduction process can be broken down into concrete, universal, scientific steps that return consistent results again and again. After all, all human beings on the planet share more than 99% the same genes. We all share in the same fundamental behavioral responses to certain situations.

Be full of energy


Today, I walked past the supermarket. As I walked out, I noticed a girl. Shes caught my attention and I was attracted to her instantly. WHat was it about her? her face? her tight shirt? her skin? No. It was the glow on her. The colour in her eyes, the way she carry herself, the vibrancy, the exuberance, her pose. I then proceed to look at everyone else around the place - everyone was grey, dull, lack of energy, blanked expression, slack posture, empty eyes.

There were more beautiful people around, there will more revealing dressed girls, leggier girls, more exotic girls - but she STOOD OUT from everyone else. She shone as if she had a glow. That made me thought - perhaps girls can pick this out from guys a lot more, perhaps they are attracted to that, I know I am. I want to be like that, I want that quality.

Having a good time


Jimmy and I went out last saturday to a party. It was heaps of fun, but whats more important is that the fun came out of us, instead of being exposed to an external fun.

Sure, the people are nice, but we were able to create some great interactions, we know how to do it. We brought life to the party and it made the entire experience pleasent!

We want to have a good time, we want to relax and not be so serious. We want to be confident and relaxed walking into future parties knowing that we can do it and wouldn't have to worry about whether it will be shit or not - because we can create it.

Who are the prices? We are! Who are special? We are! It is others who are lucky to meet us because by being with us, they will be happier, they will have more fun, they will have more connections, they will have a new way of life, they will be in a reality, OUR REALITY that is wonderful and beautiful and fun.

On the last post


The four energies of dominating leader, innocent playfulness, Insightful wisdom and Sincerity is quite interesting. I have been practicing and getting pretty good at the innocent playfulness energy while the others are a bit out of hand for me. I think I am doing ok well, but not overwhelmingly well.

It is interesting how these energies are really powerful and you KNOW how it works. I have been big on playfulness recently. If you've read my previous posts, I have been constantly preaching on how you need to be playful and get her to be the little kid. It took me some time to discover this, understand it and be able to describe it to others.

I want to play with Sincerity a bit more. But this one is difficult because none of us can be perfectly honest all the time. What is sincerity? what are the boundries? what constitute it and can you create an illution of it? i.e., fake sincerity?

I am generally pretty sincere but I grew to be more protective and hide my emotions. This isn't really sincere, is it? Also, I have been practicing charming. Althought it have been very built in and natural, as much as I try to genuinely see others point of view, it is mirroring afterall. My charming trait IS nothing but mirroring. Is this insincere?

RJ news letters


The 4 Energies/Attitudes Revealed

The first, of course is being commanding and, yes, dominant.

But bear in mind, this just means the will and the ability to take the lead.

It does NOT mean being domineering or abusive.

It simply means taking and setting the lead, usually in a relaxed way. But it is also combined with a strong amount of generosity and consideration for others.

Tyrant Vs. Emperor


Consider this metaphor: a Tyrant and an Emperor.

The Emperor and the Tyrant will both enter a room as if they expect to be obeyed and as if they are use to power with others.

The Tyrant, however, cares only for himself and rules with fear.

The Emperor rules from respect, but also has a tremendous generosity that he shares with those who serve him and also is open to genuine feedback. He cares for others.

The Tyrant cares only for his own needs.

Which one has to constantly watch his back and fears attack?


The second energy is that of being playful, funny and fun: the ability to draw out the playful side of a woman and make her feel like a little kid. A good seducer can do this at will.

The third energy is what I call demonstrating insight or being an authority in her world.

NOT the authority of threats of force or the gun.

But the authority of demonstrating you genuinely understand where she is coming from and where she is at, WITHOUT letting her set the lead and take you there yourself!

The final energy is simple sincerity: being able to speak your truth without apology, hesitation, or need of approval. Sincerity can be extremely persuasive and very powerful.

So, I hope you see that always being "dominant" is about as smart as always throwing a left-hook in a boxing match. You wind up being a bully. However, if you can never be dominant, you wind up being "the nice guy" which I wouldn't wish on anyone!

And, if you can only be playful, funny and fun, you wind up being her party entertainment until the guy she's making it with comes home! Then again, if you can never be playful or funny or fun, you will have a hard time breaking the ice and you will be missing a lot of the fun of being with women!

If you can ONLY be sincere then you leave out the challenge aspect of dealing with women, and women LOVE a challenge! If you can never be sincere, there is no chance of showing the true courage to speak your truth and no chance of any real emotional intimacy.

If you only demonstrate your understanding of her, you wind up being her counselor, psychologist and emotional dumping ground. If you can't demonstrate any understanding of her, she might be very unwilling to accept you lead.

So you see, the key to all of this my dear reader and student is…

Balance!

Balance and learn these 4 attitudes and energies and the sky's the limit with women!


Until next time,

Peace and piece

RJ

My problems explained


Man, isn't it good to have material? to be resourceful? To find answers without having to think about it too much?

Here are some of the statements from Derek Vitalio's post that is sticking out like dogs balls:
    While you needed to engage her entire group of friends to establish your social value, once you have it, her friends will actually HINDER the coming Bond and Connection phase of the seduction.

    Now you need to show her that you’re not just an interesting club guy, but that you’re a REAL HUMAN BEING.
    First, SIT DOWN with her.

    Second, DROP the social value building techniques of social proofing, teasing, ignoring, balls busting, zany stories, psychological games, cocky posturing, and all that.

    You ALREADY have HIGH social value to her.  Doing more will just slow things down at best, trip things up at worst.

    The point of Bond and Connection is to show her that you’re a NORMAL guy, not just a club guy. You’re about to reveal to her a little bit of your true, inner SOUL.


This is congruent with my earlier observations where you can't be interesting for too long, that you have to SOI. I felt it, something wrong with keep playing those games you play earlier on to get high value. I failed to see the end point and the need to move into the next phase. I didn't know what the next phase is and I dont know what to do for the transition.

Definitely need investigation.

Observation


From the previous post, I can see a few things in my PU that needs to be refined. I am usually doing step one really well. I will forget about picking up and build social proof as a rule. If there is a hot girl around, FORGET ABOUT HER - establish social proof! You sarging her and not knowing anyone else is weak. You are essentially cornering her and you are leaving a massive blank in your PU "insurance". You have nothing to fall back onto, you have no sense of value. You are just some dude. Talk to others, ignore your target, make lots of noice, be the life of the party, be the origin of a good vibe. Only when you have gained enough momentum this way that you can start homing into your target.

I do keep everything on an emotional, connecting level platonically. This is probably going to set you up as a unique person. This is usually where I try to sarge, I have momentum, I am on a roll, I am full of fun, playful energy - this can only infact your target. Fluff talk became a bigger part of my sarge because I can get more out of it - I've developed a habit of testing a girl out, her character, her personality, attitude AND her interest level. At the same time, I would vibe her - assume rapport, assume attraction, play, push-pull, bodylanguage/tonality/tempo/EC, all that good stuff. I will try to keep the topic on the emotional side. Occationally, I fall back onto asking her questions but I will not let myself get into question trains, only 1 question interspersed in between statements. This is the establishment of a social interaction. They like me, I like them, we enjoy the conversation and then, perhaps a little bit more. It takes perhaps 40 minutes for me to get to this stage.

Often, things die a bit here and this is my problem. Kinda get stuck here. Sarging from this stage onward is challenging for me. I have been playing little tests where I pull back a little bit and it usually works. I am a little uncomfortable with this because I do not know how to control pulling back - You fear that if you turn your back on them, they will just think you are boring. You don't know how much to pull back, and how to encourage her to talk more.

This is the trick. Make it her effort. make it an enjoyable effort for her. There are more question in my mind - how can I be silent without making it too awkward and uncomfortable? I have a theory: When someone is uncomfortable in a situation and feel like they want to spark it, they will throw something (some information about themselves) out. Perhaps get them to do that and stick to that topic? OHHHHH, LISTEN! You've got to listen, I am still not a good listener and tend to not pick things cues up as much as I should. Read between the lines.

Also, I need to know about all the doorways into people's hearts, and how to get there. Right now, I am very limited in my techniques. All I know is to make a connection and get into their hearts. I am losing sight of what I am doing, what I am trying to achieve. Therefore I have no goal in mind. This is bad.

I do no isolation at all. I don't SOI. I think these are the areas I need to pay attention to. What I've got is only a very early part of the sarge, no SOI, no isolation, no escalation, no heavy kino. There is much to be done. But thats ok, I am spinning web, and practicing opening. There is a lot of things to be learnt already, however, when the opportunity arise, I must be aware of these things.

newsletter from Derek Vitalio


Virtually all women want to feel an intimate sense of bond and connection with their man in a relationship.

So a lot of guys naturally attempt to establish that sense of bond and connection with a girl right away.

They approach a girl at a bookstore or club and attempt to establish deep rapport right away by eliciting her values or doing an incredible connection routine.

Unfortunately, they walk away brushed off by the girl and scratching their heads as to what they did wrong.

What went wrong is that they tried to establish an intimate bond and connection TOO SOON.

Yes, getting deep rapport with a girl is necessary - eventually.

But NOT at the first moment you meet her.

If you try for bond, connection, and deep rapport at the first moment you meet a girl, it will blow up in your face.

Why?

Because you don’t have enough Social Value to the girl yet.

It’s not that women don’t like that building that sense of bond and connection with a man. They LIKE it. They WANT it.

They just want to do it with a man with equal or higher social value than themselves.

If you jump directly into Bond and Connection (B&C) routines and material right away without establishing any social value first, you’ll just come across as another “nice guy”.

Step one - Build Social Value with a Girl

First, you have to build your social value to the girl. As I’ve discussed in detail before, there are many ways of doing this:

1. Social proof - she sees you talking with other hot girls

2. Nonverbal Sexual Cues - good voice, strong body language, eye contact, etc.

3. Ignoring social pressure - you walk right up to her, ignore everybody else extremely confident and brash

4. Your visual style - how you're dressed, groomed, etc

5. Demonstrating value obliquely - winning over her friends, telling cool stories, palm reading, etc

6. Disqualifying yourself - ignoring her in front of her friends

7. Screening her - make her earn your acceptance

Once you’re in her group of friends, have built social value for yourself, and screened her and accepted her, she’ll begin giving you signs of interest – touching you, smiling at you, turning her body to face you, attempt to initiate conversation with you, and so on.

This is the point – once you know she likes you – that you want to establish that deep, intimate, bond and connection with her.

Step two - Isolate Her from Her Friends

Once she’s giving you signs of interest, you'll want to get her AWAY from her friends.

ISOLATE her.

While you needed to engage her entire group of friends to establish your social value, once you have it, her friends will actually HINDER the coming Bond and Connection phase of the seduction.

To establish that deep rapport of bond and connection, you'll need to get the girl ALONE and talk with her one-on-one.

Separating her from her friends is rather easy to accomplish.

First tell the Object of Your Desire (OYD), “Hey, I have the coolest thing I’ve just got to show you this…”

This is a curiosity hook. She’ll ask you, “What is it?”

Tell her that you can’t show her here… it’s too loud or that you need to show her in private.

Now she’ll go with you, if you simply lead her. But you can’t take her just yet.

You still have to neutralize any potential objections from her peer group that you’ll be stealing her away from them.

Tell her group of friends, “Your friend and I like each other. I’m going to just borrow her for a few minutes. That’s cool with you guys.”

Telling her group, “Your friend and I like each other,” may seem bold, but it's actually based on cold fact at this point. She’s given you repeated signs of interest (I like you) and you’ve screened and accepted her (I like you back).

So when you tell her friends, “Your friend and I like each other,” the Object of Your Desire will give you no resistance.

Telling her group, “I’m going to just borrow her for a few minutes,” simply paces the action so that they won't be surprised when she disappears... and won't go looking for her when she does.

And telling the group, “That’s cool with you guys,” gets her group’s verbal, explicit permission for you to snatch her away and neutralizes any cock-blocking they might otherwise give you. If you’ve already demonstrated social value to the group, it’s highly unlikely that her friends will say no.

Step three - Building Bond and Connection

Now that you have her separated from her group, take her by the hand and lead her to a quieter place in the club.

Now’s the time to build that intimate sense of bond and connection with her. Why will it work now?

1. You already have social value to her.

2. She likes you. She’s been giving you signs of interest.

3. She knows you like her and that she had to work to earn your interest (screening and acceptance).

Now you need to show her that you’re not just an interesting club guy, but that you’re a REAL HUMAN BEING.

First, SIT DOWN with her.

Second, DROP the social value building techniques of social proofing, teasing, ignoring, balls busting, zany stories, psychological games, cocky posturing, and all that.

You ALREADY have HIGH social value to her. Doing more will just slow things down at best, trip things up at worst.

The point of Bond and Connection is to show her that you’re a NORMAL guy, not just a club guy. You’re about to reveal to her a little bit of your true, inner SOUL.

Third, once you have her isolated and sitting down with you, adjust your Nonverbal Sexual Cues.

Project the energy of sharing your soul and deep intimacy with her. Imagine that you’ve known this girl forever and she’s already your girlfriend. Imagine a tangible energy between the two of your bodies, like an electric current.

Your Nonverbal Sexual Cues will automatically adjust to the new frame - bedroom eyes, smiling up close, deep eye contact, your body and face completely turned toward hers, slow breathing, husky voice, and warm body heat.

Bond and Connection (B&C) Routines

At this point, you’ll want to launch into your Bond and Connection (B&C) material. Here are some basic B&C routines I like to use.

Elicit her values: Ask her questions that will reveal her core values. For example, you can ask her, “What in your life makes you really happy?”

She might, say “Doing well at my job/school.”

Then ask her, “And what does doing well at your job/school allow you to feel?”

She might reply, “Feeling like I’ve accomplished something.”

Ask her, “And what’s the feeling you get when you accomplish something?”

She might reply, “I get that high, that rush.”

Then squeeze her hands and tell her, “Isn’t it great when someone understands you on that level and you can experience that rush with them.”

Then pay her a sincere compliment on that positive attribute of hers (wanting to accomplish her goals in this case) that she holds so important. Tell her that she’ll have successes because of that positive attribute.

Wonderful connection: Tell her how amazing it is that you met each other. Talk about destiny. Talk about that wonderful connection that you have together, and how that’s something so rare and so hard to find. Have her take that connection that you share, have her give it a color, and have her visualize it expanding over the both of you through each other’s bodies.

The club is phony: Talk about how club gaming is phony and that you feel like you can really open up to her and be yourself with her. Tell her that you don’t feel you have to put up a front with her like you do with other girls. Tell her that she’s different than all the other clubber girls you meet.

Tell her an intimate story about yourself: Have a story ready to tell her about some intimate experience you’ve had that you “don’t normally share with girls.” Perhaps like the day your puppy died and how it emotionally affected you and ever since that day you never take your life for granted. The story should be about YOU and show your more sensitive side.

While running this B&C material, be aware of your nonverbal sexual cues. Your physical and energetic intimacy and deep rapport should match the intimacy and deep rapport of your words.

Continue building a bond and connection with the girl for AT LEAST twenty minutes before attempting to get her phone number, scheduling a date, or getting her to leave the club with you to grab something to eat.

So let’s summarize everything:

Don’t launch into Bond and Connection routines and material right away with a girl. You won’t have enough social value to her for her to take it seriously and you’ll just look like another “nice guy”. Instead, follow these steps in order:

1. Build social value for yourself.

2. Once she’s given you signs of interest, isolate the girl from her friends.

3. Sit down with her and build that intimate, deep rapport of Bond and Connection.


By following these steps you'll increase your likelihood of getting with the most beautiful girls tenfold.

No longer will you be waiting for dumb luck to whack upside the head or rely on playing the numbers. By using the techniques in Seduction Science, you’ll be able to pick out the most gorgeous girl in the whole club – and get THAT ONE GIRL with precision accuracy.

Treat them like a little girl


Your goal is to turn them into a little girl. And to do it, is to treat them like a little girl. The mixture of being a little girl and being a grown up woman with experience is alluring. They are more positive in a child like mode, more free, less defensive and have more fun in the interaction.

Fractionating between the two - moments where they find themselves acting like a girl and in between, coming out into "reality" where they are women again. This is seductive and girls get turned on if you are being turned on by them. Use this. And to do it, is to treat them like a little girl. They like it that way. Girls turn into little girls when they feel comfortable, when their shields are down. You need to get her there.

Treating her like a little girl stops her from being a bitch, you set the tone, you don't let her get her way, you play your rule. Afterall, you wont let a little girl rule you right? They can't trick you, you can see right through their little games. These are the two benefits of treating them like a little girl - Its good for you and they like it!

Calibration with groups


Recently, I have been spinning my web again. The social circle I've built up previously has all gone to shit, I've learnt a lot from it and am building up new ones. It is also due a bit to luck/fate - I have been following through with a couple of contacts I've gathered earlier and it was worth it. When I collected those contacts earlier, I was less refined in my techniques but it seems that things are different now. Tonight, I've got another understanding - calibration. The process of calibration was a pretty much hit and miss thing for me before, but I can see more of how I can actually do it.

Calibration gets easier as you interact with the people more. Calibration is about adpating to the vibes of the group. Each of us have our idiosyncrasies, and sometimes we collect friends who share those idiosyncrasies with us and these pecular traits are amplified in a group. The xenophobic or ambivalent tendencies of such group contributes to - clickiness. Groups have various degree of clickiness but it is just a matter of time and persistence. If you hang in there, listen, observe, projecting a fun, good vibe, being comfortable in your own skin and is congruent.

Sometimes, you need to break them down one by one. It is easy for a group to talk about "in-jokes", "references" and gossip amongst the own group. This will really alienate you and the best you can do is to join in accationally join in on a joke or two. One thing I do is talk to one at a time, and build rapport strategically - slowly, you will gain rapport of the whole group. Once you do, you can manage a bigger group. Your energy will expand and you vibe grows - you are on a roll here. Use that energy, talk with the energy, pace, vibe. Keep the flow. Thats how I do it now.

I still think I can do better. It has to be faster, I have to direct them more. But whats for sure is, if you persist, and you hang in there, they WILL always come around. Keep the positivity up. Be vibrant and exert your exuberance. Have fun, and people will come to you.

Doc Love podcast!


I didn't know that...

Here's the feed!

feed://www.worldtalkradio.com/PodCast.asp?sid=202

Oh, and did you know about Doc Love's weekly show? You don't?! Here it is:

http://www.worldtalkradio.com/archives.asp?sid=202

Friday, August 25, 2006

PU so far


This is what I want to do:

On my way to find someone real cool, I will have to practice to be an increasingly more attractive person. I will not chase after any girl. Dating is for me to have company to do things with. I will do no more than that. If they chase me, I will accept. I will make myself as attractive as possible, to offer opportunities and create challenges.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

More thoughts on SOI


Ok, think about it this way - the AFC spot an HB7, he gathers up the courage to give it a shot. He was in and the girl is interested. They exchanged pleasentaries and having a few skills, the AFC is funny and have lots of materials to cover... One hour later he is doing the same thing and the little voice in his head is telling him hes beginning to recycling jokes or storied. The HB7 is still eager and looks at him, waiting for something to come out but just knowing this pressure, the AFC get stuck and we all know how to story goes at the end.

Whats wrong here? Mr. AFC is lacking materials? He is too in his head? His nervousness? What is he supposed to do? Well, remember that last time you were at a strip club? Didn't the girls seems amazingly hot and you got really turned on? Yes you did, but what happened after 30 minutes of that? Thats the problem. Thats what happened. Mr AFC built up tension for too long and the rope snapped!

Creating attraction but not giving her much (because you are protective of yourself) is a selfish, insecure and needy pull. You are giving nothnig. Essentially, you are secretly hoping that she will do the dirty work, that she will make the initiation, letting her carry the burden. Remember, just as easy a negative emotion can be turned into a good one, the reverse is also true. You need to strategise yourself to deliver your SOI to GIVE. From experience, I know that reciprocation is key to seduction. They say being a good listener, to take from girls, to push, to neg. It is ineffective, and in many cases, it is simply untrue. It is always better to do things WITH women rather than TO women.

If she is giving all the signs that she is ready to be overwhelmed, to get into the realms of romantic/sexual encounters, there is your opportunity. MAKE IT YOUR REALITY! Shes entering into YOUR WORLD, where the experience is AS-IS. If she crave for more, she better earn it and not demand it.

You still have composure, you are in control, you are still a challenge (because she has to work for it).

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Being Physical


Personally, I hate being touched. I hate the idea of touching. It disgusts me. This is due to the hyperhydrosis I was born with. It makes touching a nightmare and it is permenantly attached to negative feelings (disgust).

However, I learnt how to touch since I started sarging. I still don't like to be touched by others and don't particularly enjoy touching others, but I know what it creates. I don't understand it myself but I can see with my own eyes how others likes to be touch a lot. It is almost like another form of communication. This is completely weird to me - I feel like steven hawkings (or something), I can't speak but I type through the computer to speak to the others, only that I can't hear at all either.

Anyway, I hate being touched and touching others so it is highly associated with offensive behaviour. Because I don't like it, anyone who tries to touch me or even get close into my personal space is highly offensive to me. I naturally reflect that onto other and expect others to hate it as much as I do. However, I learnt how to get away with touching people without them feeling offended, I got over being tentative with touching. But I should be doing way more touching than I am now.

I bet that you have to get them comfortable with you touching them, and even enjoy it so much that they want you to touch them.

Conveying my personality


I can convey my personailty when I dont have to talk about myself. Once I do, once I have to talk about myself, it stalls. My life is complicated and there are endless details and philosophical... uh, things (games and porn not withstanding). I can't really tell anyone about me. I don't know what to do. I get asked about me all the time but I just don't know what to say, nor do I want to dodge the question.

I need a routine to deal with this situation. I hate talking about myself these days.

High points


Close them only at her high points. I did it outside of the high point and it was not as effective as I'd expected. (it still worked though). But I can see how setting her up in a high point can create a greater impact.

Often, you'll know the high points subconsciously if you pay attention. Unfortunately, we are too in our heads most of the time to really listen, and picking out the high points, or to bring it out into your consciousness effectively. You must escalate on high points, and SOI at high points. It is scary and often, it make no sense, but just do it. You will see how it works and then you will be more comfortable with it later.

High points create tension that might make the target uncomfortable. If you don't play your cards right, you will screw it up with the comfort. But you are usually safe as they are waiting to be overwhelmed - they are not looking for more routines and conventions.

Transitions - SOI


You can do all the IOI's (indicatior of interest) in the world but it is essentially shight. IOI's are not powerful enough for anything other than creating comfort and friendliness.

Your real sarging only begins when you SOI (statement of intent). Before you SOI, everything is platonic. Your target might be interested but she is unsure where you are going. Staying too long without SOI is crap because the woman will start to think you are confused and don't know what to do. Translation: You are weak and you are not a leader. They will start thinking "waht is this guy up to?" growing suspicious and annoyed.

The problem I have is that I usually SOI too late, I only do it when I #close. However, from recent #closes, I noticed a change in attitude in women after SOI. They get shy, show attraction body language, they get stimulated emotionally. Thats when you know how the SOI works - because it takes you to another realm. You are no longer platonic. I thought it was the completion of a story (good ending) that creates that feeling, but rather, I think it has more to do with the SOI.

My goal is to bring the SOI earlier because you'd need to sarge her and heavy kino her before anything is happening. I want to be more Gunwitch rather than DYD here. "Make the ho say no", so to speak. If she accepts your SOI you have the greenlight. You are allowed to escalate her in a romantic way and she is comfortable with it.

The SOI is the gateway into the final stages of a PU.

Honesty


I want all the AFC's in the world to ask ourselves this question, and answer it honestly.

How many times when you are encountering an attractive woman, that you actually look at the subject (the woman) and figuring out what will create attraction (or interest level) in her?

Me? NEVER. Even now, my mind will be filled with "I will make a fool out of myself if I walk up and say hi" "I am not the best looking or richest guy out there, she wouldn't like me?" "how can I be funny? what do I say what do I Say?" "What am I going to do with her anyway?" "I am on my way to buy some Gatorade anyway, I don't have time for this... I'll pass"

MY ASSSSSSSsss!

Why are we not honest with ourselves? Does it really hurt that much to admit that you have been doing the wrong thing all along and you don't know why? You know what? This reminds me of a story -

Me and my friend were in Sydney for the first time and we were totally lost. We had a map with us but we didn't look at it. We continued wondering, getting more and more lost. I began to crumble and said "ok, what do we do?" My friend turned to me and said "Its ok, if we keep going and not look at the map, we won't look like we are lost." - he wasn't being sarcastic.

Well... Do we care so much about not appearing to be totally lost that we'd rather not get help? Are we actually trying to act out like we are succcessful with women while in reality, we are hopelessly lost? So much so that we actually lie to ourselfs? WHat if we are to be honest, what if we are to actually look around, looking maps and getting a guide, to stop worrying about how we look and start trying to get to where we want to go?

Stupidity. Thats all I have to say. Well, here is a quote from Doc Love that is well fitted here (its under "Ego"):

"The male ego will listen to instruction on any subject except for love or directions."

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

More on Doc Love


So far, Doc Love did not propose any techniques in sarging girls. In fact, it has very little to do with sarging girls and more to do with avoid doing the wrong things. Perhaps he does later. At first, it seems that Doc Love is very angry, with highly reactive negative points of view upon relationships. But bit by bit, you can see the respect and the adoration he has for a genuine, functional and good relationship.

Time and time again, you'd read about how "you cannot raise her attraction at all of her level drops below 49%, there is nothing you can do." He talks of the chances of women following up on a date etc. At first, it seems very depressing but from personal experience, there is something you can do to pump up that attraction in the beginning and how to keep it there. This is where other techniques come in handy. Doc Love seems to be a maintenance strategist. How do you keep that interest level high? What can you do, what can you avoid? What are the elements that you have to look for? What are the mistakes men generally make?

He teaches you how to read a woman, how to read yourself. Something that many other systems lack. Many other methods don't even get you into the healthy dating period, they merely mention a few attitudes towards dating. Even if there are "maintenance" ideas, its limited to very specific types of relationships. With Doc Love's material, there are more vairety, more adaptability.

Doc Love so far


The appeal of Doc Love's stuff is that it is relationship based. The material seems to really compartmentalise marriage with dating. This is obvious, but it is the elusive obvious - We tend to use dating as a "trial period", in hope to test the girl out before the marriage. What this means is that we have marriage on the back of our heads all that time. There is an agenda. There is a neediness waiting to be unleashed.

What tends to happen, and I find that I will do it so naturally when I am in ASOC is that when I meet a girl I like, I turn into the "wife searching" mode. I will envision us being together, seeing each other's parents, having children... Perhaps at first, dating her was really for a trial period, but soon, it changes. It became a neediness to satisfy that fantasy of having a family. Its not about having an objective assessment of her worthiness. Your mind is set. What happens? You lose your self respect, dignity, confidence, control and challenge. You are a supplicator, you supplicate for that fantasy of yours.

Dating to my rational mind, is just a procedure before marriage; deep in my psyche, it has penetrated every area. Dating for me is not about just going out with someone, it is not about just spending time with someone cool and do the good things together. In fact, its not even a trial period. Dating to me is survival, will I survive in the relationship long enough before I can close the deal by marrying her? SUPPLICATING! SUPPLICATING! I AM A SUPPLICATOR AFC USELESS ARSEWIPE BULLSHIT MODAFARKER ON ATOMIC HEAT!

Now I see the light, thanks Doc Love

Monday, August 21, 2006

Doc Love and having perspectives


Jimmy was kind enough to lend the System to me the other day. I've read a few pages of it and can already see the benefits. The work I've been involved with have been very detailed, many many tiny aspects of sarging and often, in the form of specific examples. The problem with this is that you lose sight of the big picture! What exactly am I doing, where am I going with this... Doc love provides a framework to work on. I am a goal oriented person so having goals and having things layed out in a big picture makes me comfortable in taking action.

There are also lots of confusion that I had before which were clarified. What are the things that can screw you up badly. Which kind of girls are worth sarging and which type of girl will really screw you over in the long run. Again, this gives perspective and explains WHY you get that unexplainable sick feeling when you are going out with them.

I know I am not the one night stand kinda person, I know I am not the kinda person who moves on from one girl to the next every week. So I need to know this stuff.

Having persepctive is great

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Be social!


The idea was this - from the Danielle experience, I've always lamented one thing - that I wanted to give space to the person I sarge. I didn't want to corner her, I want to see her interact with my friends. I wanted to run around and be social too, instead of sarging her full on. I wanted to do some fragmentation, I wanted her to talk to her friends about me. I wanted her to miss me, I wanted her to see me interacting with other people. To corner her, sarge her like mad is to be weak.

I envisioned the target meeting all these people (more likely less socially capable than me), having fun, but not so much fun. Having to work again to meet people, contrasting my instant rapport. I envisioned her friends asking her "hows that guy? he seems very nice and is kinda cute"... Then, on my return, with my charm and presence, the fragmentation will amplify the attraction and connection.

I think it is ineffective to do a heavy sarge in one go. You are forcing. You want to make it as subtle as possible, you want to appear as non-invasive and non-threatening as possible. Girls are smart, they can see agenda, they are insecure they worry about what happens, their safety, girls are social, they worry about what other people think of her, girls are picky, they worry whether you are psycho or dodgy. You don't want that against you.

You also want amplification, you want her to imagine and think about you herself. You want to have mini dates with her. So, consider all these in your sarging tactics.

Be sexual, SOI !!


Be sexual, suggest sexual thoughts, lead them into the sexual whelm. Get into topics of pleasure, sin and sex. Use whatever bridge necessary to get into that realm. Your entire conversation have to be guided towards that. The goal of your initial approach is to get into that.

So, after opening (which you assume attraction and rapport), you use everything you can to steer the conversation into something subtly sexual. Insinuate and never be direct or literal. The goal is to get THEM to think about sexual thoughts. Get them to be in that state and be comfortable with it.

This is very important - every interaction between the you and the girl should be erotic. You are wasting her, and more importantly, your time to just talk. They want to be stimulated, be overwhelmed by an experience. They secretely yearn for something special to happen when they go out. Ultimately, erotic encounters is the ONLY THING that make sense when you are out talking to a girl. If you don't have the guts to move into a sexual direction with a girl, you will run into an inevitable awkwardness - you both have in your mind an anxiety: Where is this heading? What am I do it? What is this dude doing?

Chumps will hesitate, unwilling to take risk and express his interest. Even when a girl is not in a favourable situation to be with you she is put off by a guy who play it safe. It is kinda sad but I think it is true. When someone talked to you, you'd expect them to be interested in you. As they escalate, you need more and more. You started fantasising, you start to look forward to be overwhelmed by a possible encounter. Not living up to that is a disappointment, you get resentful, you dispise those who stimulated you that way and not following through.

You'd have to keep on going... until you SOI. This is why SOI is so important. Your intent. You have to take that risk. It is the end of a good story. And right now, I am using the # close for the SOI. I am still scared. I am still a chump. The next thing I will have to do is SOI earlier, faster, and then, escalate more.

Field report: Friday night


I have been itching to sarge for weeks and weeks but I've managed to make enough excuses to not doing squat. Finally, I've managed to do it. The event was a friend's thesis completion celebrtion and it turned out to be a pretty good night.

I got there, found them and was immediately introduced to a few girls. There was a 3 set sitting at a corner and they are pretty good looking, 7's in my book. They were rather clicky to begin with but I persisted. The "entry girl" didn't response very well and was a bit rude in droping off the conversation to talk to another person. However, it turned out to be good as this opened an opportunity - I started to talk to that guy she was talking to, isolated her and she eventually left. When she was gone, I moved into the other two girls. (somebody mentioned this before - indian girls - they have attitude, not very nice)

They were better looking and were much nicer (phew). I opened by asking them "are you guys biologists", knowing their friend is a biologist. They replied no, and I was on a roll. "I was talking to David over there and we were wondering how many people in this group are not scientists and his bet was we are all scientists" The conversation flowed from there and I was being a sincere person wanting to know them. At first, they were talking amongst each other and have a lot of eye contacting amongst each other - an interesting observation: according to the "best friend test", good friends don't look at each other much in a conversation". While they appear to be friendly and closed off, which appears to the untrained eye as being long good friends, in reality, they don't know each other quite well. And that was the truth. So, don't be deceived by girls, they are so skilled in this.

These two girls were pretty cute, the more I talked to them, the cuter they got and they soon became a 7.5. And when I found out one was from Lebanon and the other was from Chile, they became 8's. I wanted to steer the conversation into something vaguely sexual so I asked "I heard that south americans are very religious, is that true?". Well, the natural flow was to lead them into how south american girls are so sexy and hot yet they are religious... Which I did and knowing they are drinking and smoking I knew the answer - yes they were supposed to be religious, but they are not strict followers. Its been good because they have been playing along and I am in control of the conversation. Religion is not the point of the conversation but it was a start to ideas of pleasure, and more importantly sin. I then proceed to comment: "Who wants to go to heaven anyway? They must be a boring bunch of people, hell on the other hand..." The girls lit up and they talked about all the benefits of being in hell - we all knew what was in our minds, what we were thinking - sex. For all sins, who wouldn't think about sex? The fire, the sweat, the lust. Behind the screen of other sinful pleasures that we talked about, that was a mutual aggreement of sexual interest. That was sweet - I got high fives. (at some point during the the convo. one of them winged "lets not talk about religion, it is boring". I didn't let it affect me as I know exactly where I am going and how to make it interesting. I ignored her and talk to the other girl when she said that - know the power of creating YOUR reality!).

We talked about a few things and as we talked, I find myself leaning into one of them more and more and increasingly dominating the conversation between us. I am attracted to her. And she was too. But being a PUA, jumping onto that means I am failing a test. This was something I learnt from my last encounter (Danielle): I was too focused on her and forgotten to be inclusive. So, I started turning to the other girl to get her involved. It was cool but eventually I got connected with the chilean girl again.

Another lesson I learnt before that I applied here was listening skills. These days, I pay attention to subject analysis and the results have been significant! I found that every girl will give out values, no matter how subtle or negative, or whatever. Girls (or perhaps, people) scream out for attention and have a subtle yearning for others to really appreciate them for who they are. EV (elicit values) is often simple and I quickly found out that the lebanese girls just wants to be a little girl and have fun while the other loves animals and is highly opinionated. Arming with this information, I have chosen my target (the chilean), and my approach to sarge her (appeal to her passion and to indulge her by validating her opinions).

I talked about animals, asked about their experiences and the girls lit up again, they were showing their adoration for cuteness, their sad storied about animals (which I reinforced by suggesting how animals are like people). They were imaginating, they were feeling. I got a lot out of them (information wise). And I reciprocate - I exchanged similar or contrary experiences that I had and they plaied along. It was fun - I was having fun, the girls were having fun.

Then, I felt it - the awkward feeling. Although I was still on a roll, my brain is telling me "dude, you are loosing your direction, where are you going with this". Emotions were running high and tension have been building for awhile. I can't drag on. This sucks, do something do something. Once again, I was lucky and for reasons I couldn't remember, I changed subject "Do you guys remember the time you know for sure that you really like something? Like beer, I can clearly remember the time when I first though "oh yeah~ I like beer" They thought about it for awhile and then the chilean plaied along -- "yeah, I think I do" I encouraged "You know, beer is an acquired taste". Then there was this whole exchange and I got an opportunity - temporary ejection.

I had lots of friends around that night, they asked me to dance (she saw me on the dance floor), people talking to me, hugging me, held my hand, talked intesively. I opened my friend's friends, talked to her, get them to laugh, I laughed. I had social status, I was validated by friends. She had space, freedom. She was fragmented and on my return, it felt like we were friends already.

Now the ground was laid. There was full acceptance and an unspoken recognition of mutual attraction. This is awsome. It is the first time that I solidly made it work. I hooked her socially, I established rapport/comfort and I hooked her into an "interest level". I semi-isolated her: We went onto a couch at a corner and I ended up in the "core values" doorway. This was partly because she is throwing herself out at me heaps with her values. There was still a bit of fluff and I was a little bit uncomfortable. I also found myself leaning in too much. So I tried to relax and lean back a bit. But she wasn't hooking, she was not giving me much EC. It was moving forward and then, she mentioned her boyfriend when we talked about music... Sheeze, that put her right out of frame and she wanted to get beer all of a sudden. She went off to get beer (and offered to buy me beer) and I was "hanging in there" and I ended up talking to my friends and eventually went dancing again. I probably felt like I don't want to be like a looser, hanging around to wait for her return.

When I return, she gave me a beer (it was cool, kinda like a little thing between us. I felt like shes doing some work to make that connection there). I continued to talk to my friends instead of her but then, her friend gave me an opportunity again. She came and ask her for rescue from an AFC heavily hitting on her. I jumped into action. I talked about boys and girls, how girls see guys, what do they do to get rid of guys, attraction, I tease them, say they are mean, etc. I got my friend to talk to her friend and offered him as a cock-block. I immediately followed by homing in next to her when the seat next to her was free.

This was when everything worked. I negated her boyfriend thing (she mentioned how she blow people off by talking about her boyfriend, I didn't let it affect me and I teased her on how she mentioned the BF to me. She explained herself that shes not blowing me off and I teased her how I past her test) Now, she is fulling comfortable interacting with me - I know she's got a BF, and I am cool with it, we are friends and she's comfortable. Unknowingly, that laid another foundation for more sarging.

IOI's, kino, EC all arrived. She was laughing, punching me, seeking my approval, qualifying herself to me. We talked about nipples, having babies, boys and girls, relationships, attraction. Greenlights - subconscious attraction brought into the consciousness. We were not only communicating on a deeper level, but on all levels. And then it hit me, once again - She snapped out of it and said "oh my god, I have been bitching and bitching for ages, oh my god, I have been going on non-stop! You can go away if you want to." GREENLIGHT!!!! That is a sure sign you've got her. I've got there. I was in. I was on the other side of the wall.

I finished her off, shes turning into an AFC little girl more and more and more. My kino is going more and more and more, and out laughter, our exciting energy spread and attracted others to join in. It was great! IT WAS SOLID WORK! I SARGED HER!

~~~~ ON HEAT!!~~~~

She suggested I buy her a beer, but because I was too happy and she bought me beer before I said yes and added "only because you earnt it" (she wanted coopers too :). Unfortunately, when I return she was gone, so I had to talk to my mate again. It was kinda bad because I didn't get an opportunity to talk to her for ages and its making me anxious. I was loitering around to wait for an opportunity, I made eye contact but never made the move. I was acting like an AFC.

At last, I got an opportunity but it wasn't so good, she sniffed a bit of an AFC/agenda and probably got her BF in her mind again. Whatever it was, the conversation was superficial Unknowingly, it was fragmentation at work here. I was feeling AFC... sigh. I was feeling like a total tool. And she made a comment: "Where exactly are you going?" I smells of test. I deflected it "you mean what I just said, or before?" She dodged the question and I was freaking out. On hindsight, the fragmentation is powerful, it built too much tension that awkwardness set it. We anticipated talking to each other but there are barriers. Barriers now and the conflict of her unavailable status. I waited too long, I wasn't leading and direct enough. I can feel it, you cannot drag on for too long, you have to escalate - OR YOU DIE.

I was bored by my friends all getting too drunk and I was jumping around waiting for good interaction. I felt a bit socially disproved. She was a bit like that too and anxiety sets in. I felt cold all of a sudden and I was looking for my jacket. She helped me a bit and I gave up. I felt like a tool. I felt pissed off that I pussyfooted around, I felt like shes So I've decided to SOI and close. I look her square in the eye and said seriously "I am going". She didn't know how to respond and I said "But it was very nice meeting you" She reciprocated - mutual SOI and then she hit me - she turned into AFC! She was blabing on about how I am really cool, thanking me for being interesting, it was very interesting... I was shocked! Yet I was very glad, excited and happy. Mutual SOI, the tension, the release, I can all see it. How it worked, how it was built, everything. I said "the important thing is, I want to meet you again" and we were in this silent, knowing she has a BF, yet we really like each other and one of us have to do the dirty work and once we do, we have crossed the line. I pulled my usual trick with phone numbers and she asked me to get her jacket for her. I kept up my act: I stood up and said: "Girl you are really losing your chance here" and she went "oh, my phone is here", I kept up my act: "ok, you know X and X know Y and I get to see Z who usually hang out with Y..." She pulled out her phone and said "You can give me your phone number, but you know what? you should worry more about your jacket than my phone number" - SCORED.

She still hesitated, I saw her phone with pictures of her cat, asked her about it, went through it with her in a mini-conversation. She was acting shy "anyway, I will get your number, but honestly, I am really bad, I don't call people." I gave her my number and was about to eject. Then, she hit me with it "Too bad you don't have your cell phone with you". Shit, this is SS, I immediately said "yeah, I have my phone with me" and she suggested calling me to give me her number - practically throwing the ball back at me. I looked at her and said "you little..." with a wink and a sly smile. She was all shy on me - "it was really really nice meeting you, it was really cool, you are really cool. Don't worry, I will tell my BF about it and he is cool too, you both are cool, take care, don't get robbed, or beaten up..." "Or raped." I said good bye for everyone, gave her goodbye gestures a couple of times, got my jacket and left.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

SS news letters


I can identify with this, can you?
    Today, the New Year started out with a bang with a big
    argument/debate on whether you can ever be "kind" to women.

    Since this is a major sore spot for most men, I thought I'd share the discussion.

    This was posted by Mr. X who is a professional soldier and a long time Speed Seduction® student.

    Mr. X had this to say:

    I can say from personal experience that women of Russian origin are
    similar to Asian women in that they view niceness and acts of
    kindness as indicators of strength, whereas American women view
    niceness and acts kindness as indicators of weakness.

    Here is MY answer:

    Uh uh uh...depends Depends. Depends.

    If it reeks of need or pressure, they don't want it.

    If it's freely given or given from a place of abundance AND you
    have established authority and respect, it's usually a-ok.

    Most unappreciated "kindness" is unappreciated because:

    1. You didn't establish respect/authority or get any investment
    from her in the interaction/transaction BEFORE the kindness.

    2. She's a twist and just doesn't trust any kindness. Ok. They are out there. Best to run away or play the villain only a VERY short
    while. But aware, please: if you stare into the abyss to get your cues and clues on how to respond and behave, the abyss also stares long and hard into you. And what it gazes at it molds and shapes. So don't look long.

    3. It wasn't really kindness but need or pressure.

    4. She's a super-twist and not only doesn't trust kindness, she
    WANTS to be punished. Run, RUN, R-U-N away.

    5. She doesn't like the psychological pressure of having to live up to the ideal you think of her as; putting her on a pedestal gives her cramps, a nose bleed and a nasty migraine, so she kicks you in the face as she steps off to be human.

    6. You are giving her the kindness you THINK she wants or that you enjoy giving and not what the kindness she really needs. If she craves physical affection and you buy her gifts it isn't her fault that you aren't paying attention.

    Given the right context and a reasonably ok psyche (and it isn't that rare) most women will soak up appropriate, NON NEEDY, NON PUSHY kindness. Some are twists. Some just crave excitement and drama and dominance more than the cuddlies, wuddlies and warm fuzzies. The most confusing ones crave one over the other depending on their mood of the day or time of the month.

    Bottom line:

    1. Screen your woman

    2. Establish boundaries, self-respect/authority in her world.

    3. Those who require punishment or who never trust kindness need to be left behind. After some experiences (some painful ones probably)you will develop the intuition to quickly tell who's who in this
    regard

    4. Get a good initial read, if you can, on whether they more
    strongly prefer excitement, drama and being dominated to being cared for and looked after, or in what proportion they want each. I prefer a woman who is a good mix of both; if she doesn't like excitement she's probably a lousy fukkk. If she can't take kindness, then I can't open my heart to her and the sex becomes nothing more than an energy dump; fun, but numbing and draining.

    Hint: Learn to read the chakra at the hara or t'an t'ien. which
    relates to power and will issues and you will get an idea of where they are at. And EXPECT the unexpected because with women, it IS going to happen.

    Peace and piece,

    RJ
However, I do share Mr. X's insights into asian and russian girls. My classic technique to women is to be kind and nice to them, and it works. It works up to the 8's or even 9's. However, there is a disproportionate number of asian/russian girls who are not the extraverts type and I contribute my success to that. I was never able to get those hot ones who is outgoing. They care nothing of kindness. Also, I know many asian girls really don't care about you, they just want some nice/cool guys - it is good that you can be nice and can sure, you can pick them up, but it is also bad because you can be replaced easily. Also, beware of the relationship matter, they suck you in, turn you into an AFC and then move on to another AFC.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

My default #close


I've done this four times successfully. My number close is - I give numbers away, I never get numbers. This is to prevent me from scacity mentality, worry about when to call, bla bla bla. It also act as a filter for high interest level, forces you to do your work harder in the beginning, getting the girl to be involved and setting up a challenge.

There are many many benefits, although you lose *some* people, your target wanting to do something for you will save you from flakes. If you've done your game right in the beginning, your ratio should be ok. If she is not interested enough to call you back, either you need more work on the initial attraction or she is a waste of time anyway.

This is what I do. I meet them, I charm them up, I seduce them. I wait for a good time to close - this is usually at her high point, get her to talk, act mezmerised by her charm, then interrupt her at her high point and tell her you'd have to go. Create a challenge "too bad I don't see you around..." "too bad I have to go..." "too bad whatever". Then, suggest that you would wnat to catch up and continue on this. Because it is her high point, she will agree. Because it is her high point, she will feel like it is a shame you'd have to go. Then, you act confused, you act like you are troubled by it. say something like "oh, I don't have a home phone number..." "my email is not working..." Kinda mumbling to yourself, looking frustrated. -- Then, inevitably, they will suggest: "Do you have a cellphone?" Thats when you go "YEAH! silly me! how can I forget?!"

You give her your phone number, and you don't give her a chance to give you hers (knowing that you don't have her number, the only way she can get in touch with you is to initiate). Eject quickly and be sure that she will give you a call later. They seems to always do... :p

Opening Method


I've dreamt of this method last night and when I woke up and thought about it, it still make sense. Anyway, here it is.

Every time you spot a girl you'd want to approach, think of her as your ex! Imagine that you are spotting your ex and want to go talk to her. This is to put you in a mindset that you KNOW what to do, how to sarge her and that she will respond well. It gets you out of the scarcity mentality, you are not ovwhelmed by her beauty, in fact, you don't really care.

Approach women that way, but don't think of the negative things about your ex. Just treat them like she is a good ex.

making sense?

Monday, August 14, 2006

For some reason...


I dislike tits today...

Thought people might need to know this.

Actually, what I wanted to say is, I've finished reading all of Juggler's method, the art of seduction, and the Gunwitch method now. I don't want to read anymore, I am so sick of it.

Hang on, I still have to read Doc Love and Ross Jeffries again! Dear dear. Man I dislike titties today.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

I have a theory (or hypothesis if you are pedantic)


Happiness and openness attracts, confidence is for dealing with the challenges of women.

What I mean is, confidence is irrelavent in attraction. If you are happy, having fun and undefensive, if you are in the moment, enjoying yourself, when you are focused on the things you enjoy doing - There is no such thing as confidence. It does not make sense to talk about confidence or not. That is attractive, that is where you want to be.

To me, a happy, passionate person is attractive. someone with the spirit of an enthusiastic child has no concept of confidence. It appears that they are confident, simply because they just BE. So, don't mistake that it is the confidence that is attractive. It is the state of happiness and openness that is attractive. Confidence is only an illusion.

However, the opposite is true: Inconfidence repells. If you are inconfident, you will not be happy, you won't be passionate, you wont be open and you will be defensive. That is anti-seductive. Insecurity is unattractive. Same applies to sarging. Now, I am not saying confidence is irrelavent in sarging over all, in fact, I am suggesting confidence is ESSENTIAL when you are interacting with a woman. This is because we are genetically wired to be put into ASOC (altered state of consciousnes) when we encounters an attractive girl.

Don't be ashamed of ASOC, it is normal, it is GOOD, and we can make good use of it. What is bad about ASOC is, it is linked to our vanity and insecurity. You cannot sarge someone if she does not spark your attraction (ie., put you in ASOC), but in ASOC, you are not your normal, happy-go-luck self who is open and undefensive. We are adults, we went through life where we are subjected to judgement, failures, been through shameful experiences. We have been rejected, dumped, abused. It is IMPOSSIBLE to be devoid of self doubt. Confidence is a state, a frame we use to overcome those difficulties, to deal with the past. Confidence exist as a dialectic opposite of inconfidence, or self doubt.

Think of it like an erection. As a teenager, you *SHWING* on the thought of pornography, but as you grow more experienced and confident, you learn how to control your erection. "DOWN BOY"! We have no respect for those who have no control over their erection. Those who erect on porn are chumps, it is not cool. But we all know how porn stiumlates us still, with no less intensity. The only difference is - composure, erectile composure if you may.

That is what confidence is to us when it comes down to women. You are stimulated, but instead of going "OMG, I am so turned on, what now, WHAT NOW?", your "confidence" puts you in control, you are composed, you have a slow, seductive voice in your head, saying "GO FOR IT~". Girls will throw tests at you to see how "experienced" you are, how "cool" you are, how composed you are. Your composure, your reaction to them with total confidence will show them you are the catch. They don't want some dude who is not stimulated by them sexually at all, yet, they don't want loosers. It is a predicament to girls. A predicament that causes a lot of confusion in men.

So, be open, be happy to generate attraction. But use confidence to pass her tests.

Article from Derek Vitalio


I've pondered about this stuff before as well. I have slowly discovered the jewels of my personality and am learning how to make the most out of them. the ideas are congruent - Robert Greene talk about how dandys can be seductive and his prime example - Andy Warhol, is of this type. The self-confident introverts. Don't be fooled that only manly extroverts gets the babes. The quiet, confident introverts quietly pack his numbers away. They don't show off, they don't brag. Just coz you don't know, that doesn't mean introverts are not devilishly seductive. Anyway, here is the article
    "There’s a popular belief that you need to have a certain approach to have any success. Like for instance, you have to be extroverted and entertaining to get the ladies. It just ain’t so – the ONLY thing that matters is your relaxed CONFIDENCE and the way you PROJECT that confidence, using your body. After that, it’s just a matter of picking your own style.

    A quiz you should get

    Alright, what will fetch you more success – being introverted or extroverted?

    I know you think YOU know what I want you to say. And maybe you’re right. After all, it’s a lot easier for extroverts to meet people than introverts, eh? There’s no doubting it. And extroverts also tend to be more personable, faster to charm, soakers of attention… while introverts often are alone in a corner.

    BUT – and this is a big one – all the things that seem GOOD about an extrovert can be turned around on them. They can come off as insincere, eager to please, all that sort of negative stuff.

    And the INTROVERT can come off as mysterious, confident, at home in his skin… all that sort of positive stuff.

    No, really

    I have a friend who is VERY shy, but he gets tons of ladies. How? He lets everyone else talk and blab and yabber away, all these guys trying to impress the women, and he just calmly listens from the edge of the group. Then, when he sees an opening, BAM, he makes one extremely insightful biting comment.

    Usually the talkers sort of fade away after that, their confidence shattered by ONE well-thought out comment. My friend gradually takes a larger role in the discussion through cajoling, but for the most part he just LISTENS and saves everything up for an occasional GEM.

    I’m not saying that introvert is the way to go, or that you should be gregarious all the time. In truth, a little of this and a little of that at different moments is the best approach, but it DOESN’T REALLY MATTER.

    BOTH can work. Both DO work. Because the REAL discussion on this issue isn’t about how talkative you are.

    That scale, taken alone, is meaningless. You could never shut up and it could be great or horrible – you could never say a word, same thing, it’s NOT about how much you talk or even how many conversations you start.

    So what is it about?

    What it REALLY is about is RELAXED CONFIDENCE. And you can act confident saying everything OR nothing.

    This is just a roundabout way of me reinforcing one of my favorite points: it’s NOT what you say, it’s HOW you say it.

    It’s in the attitude and the BODY language.

    Am I a teacher? Or your inner smarty pants?

    And of course you KNOW all this, deep in your bones. I’m just verbalizing it – which hopefully will make it easier to ACT using this knowledge.

    For instance, if I show you two guys, one quietly leaning against a post with a sardonic smile, the other approaching EVERYONE with a nervous grin and speaking WAY too fast, barely breathing – which one do you think is more likely to go home with a girl?

    Or if there’s a dude who has a relaxed funny answer to everything and plenty of interesting anecdotes and stories – and another guy is hunched over in a booth toying with his coaster and afraid to make eye contact with anyone, who’s getting the girl?

    Congratulations, you’re right on both counts.

    Because you already KNOW what you have to do.

    In fact, MOST guys know EXACTLY what they have to do to get any woman at any time. It’s buried in our BONES, sometimes deeply, but it’s there.

    Why, then, don’t we always GET the girl?

    Good question, sad answer.

    Man, men are screwy

    Most of the time, it’s just because we’re SCARED to do it. Introverts and extroverts are BOTH convinced that THEY have a problem which prevents them from doing what they NEED to. The problem may seem different – introverts usually can’t get up the bravura needed, extroverts usually have too much nervous energy to listen to their knowledge when they need it – but in truth, it’s the SAME problem.

    Because it’s just a matter of a limiting belief. You don’t think you can, and like the little engine’s evil twin, you can’t.

    How’re we going to fix this huge little problem of ours?

    This time, we’re getting at it from the outside in.

    Practice time

    We’re going to CARRY ourselves like we’ve got a great working relationship with our own knowledge, AND that we can act on it anytime it’s called for.

    And pretty soon, it’ll become true.

    If you’re extremely extroverted, practice THINKING before you say some things, make sure it’s the right thing to say. Don’t be afraid to take your time, everyone will still be listening two seconds from now.

    If you’re too introverted, practice DOING exactly what you’re thinking. Even if it seems crazy and you’re ‘sure’ everyone else will hate it. Trust me, even if it bombs completely, it’s not that bad. And more likely, everyone will LOVE it because THEY know it’s the right thing too – they were just waiting for someone ELSE to do or say it.

    As always, carry yourself standing tall. Expand yourself, don’t shrink (this especially goes for the heavier-set, who have a tendency to try and hide their belly which, ironically, makes it look larger as you slouch and double it up). Eliminate your eager language – no close talkers here. No soft talkers either – if you aren’t speaking loud enough for people near you to hear, you’re telling them ‘I’m not saying anything important’ or, worse, ‘I have ZERO confidence.’

    Don’t get hung up on how MUCH or little you speak – just try to say everything with RELAXED CONFIDENCE.

    That’s it. That’s ALL you need to worry about. Do everything else in the style and with the frequency that’s most comfortable to you – because you want to be as COMFORTABLE in your skin as possible. That’s the key.

    Stop worrying over the things you THINK are hurdles, and start concentrating on the ones that really ARE in your way – things which you placed there yourself.

    Get rid of them, and NOTHING will be able to stop you.

    Check out my Seduction Science System which includes my Palm Reading ebook free of charge and you’ll see exactly what I mean – it will help you become a more desirable man in EVERY phase of the game.

    Until Next Time,

    Derek Vitalio"

Another cool DJ tip


** Establish Control **


I see this question asked often:

Why won't she approach me if she's interested?

Often, the presumption is that the woman is insecure or she wants
reassurance about herself from you.

Well, I dug around in my psyche a bit and came up with an
alternative explanation.

For a bit of background on who I am: I am an assertive woman, and
neither insecure nor wanting reassurance of my value. I probably
rate a 6 or 7 on a 10 scale for looks.

When I spot a man (a stranger I haven't already met) whom I'd like
to get to know better as a romantic possibility, I send signals like
eye contact and smiles. I ATTRACT his attention.

If the situation is a tough one for him (for example, if I'm sitting
with a male friend) I'll throw in a wink and raise an eyebrow, and
maybe make an excuse to walk PAST him on my way to the powder room
or to the bar to get another round, along with more eye contact.

There is no way he can mistake that I'm smiling at him.

But I don't initiate contact by walking over TO him. He has to make
a move by *at least* beckoning me to walk over and talk to him.
(I'll hold my ground unless I'm sitting or standing with a male
friend and my target may have reason to think he might get slugged
if he approaches me.)

It isn't that I can't initiate. If I'm not interested romantically
(say I'm interested professionally or for friends only), I'll walk
right up, shake his hand, introduce myself and get down to business.

Romance is a different issue, and here's why.

BY APPROACHING HER YOU ESTABLISH CONTROL OF THE TERRITORY. First
yours and then hers.

Now consider that I'm no shrinking violet. I carry a cell phone in
one pocket and a Spyderco knife in the other. "Don't be a victim"
is my motto. I very rarely feel intimidated by circumstances or
people.

As a woman, though, I weigh in at about two-thirds to one-half the
size of my man. It might be hard-wired into my genes or imprinted
by the people around me -- all I know is that it simply FEELS GOOD
when a man takes control of the territory and acts like he will
handle situations.

Acting territorial is a masculine trait, and I feel reassured when
sensing a concrete sign of the masculinity that I like so much.

I feel reassured not from strokes to my vanity, but reassured that I
can continue to perform the feminine role of opening vulnerabilities
to him in an environment that is safe because he controls it.

Thank you for joining me on this trip through the id. Now, back to
your regular programming.....

This tip by: Rebel Leader

From DJ news letter: Cognitve Dissonance


** Using Cognitive Dissonance **


Think of all the women you've ever had plans with.

Think of the ones you stood up or cancelled on (if any) and think of
the ones that you didn't. Ever notice that you hardly ever cancel
on someone that you're TRULY interested in?

How, through hell or high water, if you thought she was really great
you would make the date no matter what? And when and if you
cancelled on a girl, did your opinion of her change afterward?

Here's the rub... everyone gather round and listen closely. When a
girl cancels on you, it makes her like you LESS. Let me repeat that
in case you're just tuning in. When a girl cancels on you, it makes
her like you less.

This is a phenomenon psychologists refer to as "cognitive
dissonance." Basically, the way it works is that whenever we do
something that goes against our values (such as lying when you
consider yourself an honest person, or doing something mean when you
consider yourself to be nice) it creates a disharmony (dissonance)
in our minds.

Our minds search for a way to explain why our actions are not in
keeping with our perception of ourselves. They do this by making a
sort of excuse for ourselves (for example, after you're mean to
someone, saying that the person DESERVED your mean treatment makes
it easier to understand why you would do something like that).

When a girl cancels on you, she may think of herself as a very kind
person normally, but she tells herself that she cancelled on you
because you were not her type, or not attractive enough, or not
interesting enough, or whatever... she'll tell herself these things
and BELIEVE THEM even if they aren't really true.

Cognitive dissonance is a b!tch.

Luckily, it works both ways.

Whenever someone does something NICE for you, it makes them like you
MORE. Even something simple, a small favor. It doesn't even matter
how small!

At work, ask her to help you with some really minor project (this
works on a couple of levels, because it shows you have the
confidence to ask for help and it lets her do something nice for
you). Make sure that it's something that she isn't FORCED or
COMPELLED to do. Something that isn't in the job description, so
that when she does it, she realizes that it was her CHOICE and that
she CHOSE to help you, ergo she must like you.

If it's at a bar or a club, ask if she has a pen you can borrow.
Something small and simple! You get the idea.

By doing this, you can turn your adversary "cognitive dissonance"
into your friend.

This tip by: Giovanni Casanova

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Frustration explained, again.


I've figured it out today. This is an observation of social dynamics:

In building up a group (of friends), it is desirable to include both guys and girls for social purposes. The benefits of having guys in the group is that guys might be able to help you bring girls in, support your social status, provide opportunities to express the boyish side of you, and most importantly, you many girls don't do boyish things that is a lot of fun. (e.g., talking about women and perving at them)

There are however, things that makes it undesirable when it comes down to sarging. What I find happening is that when you have a mixture of boys and girls, not everyone has the same goal as us PUA's have. In our minds, we make it clear what sarging is and what making friends is. We might flirt, but it is practice, to get responses and genuinely get into the friendzone with them for good company. PUA understand the destructive nature of sexual energy in a group setting and will respect that limit. PUA's know that they do not have scarcity mentality so they do not corner the girl but will include everyone in for the fun - there are girls out there, don't be a dumb ass and cut wood in your own forest.

Unfortunately, not everyone is a PUA. And you don't want everyone to be a PUA. But what happens is that Chumps brings insecurities and sexual energies into the group. You ended up having guys sarging the girls in it, being posessive and this enforces other guys to "respect" their territory. Being competitive between guys etc. Now we assume that all the girls we meet are totally unware of these and are open to influence, insecurities etc, the group is going to disintegrate over time.

One thing I dislike the most is - friends hitting on each other within a group and breaking up and then seeing another friend. That is so gross, that is really incestral! Do it outside the group and I don't mind it. So, I am experiencing a bit of that in the group I gathered recently. It is frustrating. It gets you nowhere. You only feel like a looser afterwards. Sarge outside of your group and do not bring girls you sarge into the group. Sure you should include them with your friends, but do not let her into the core circle.

Forgetfulness


I have forgotten about my direction.

I wanted to build a larger social network. I wanted to know more and more people, know more friends etc. I wanted to be social, I wanted to used an indirect approach -- and I was doing that.

I have forgotten about it.

I am capable of interacting with new friends and sarge them. They will like me and both the juggler method and the Art of Seduction worked really well. Now, I've figured out what it is that I am frustrated about. I am frustrated about the lack of sexual interactions.

I could be friendly, be social, and flirt, slowly eliciting physical surrender and forms the bonds of love in most girls I am interacting with. But never sexual. There is a difference, I get to touch them, peck them, medium-kino them. They say they love me, there will be sexual tension. But I want sex! I want the next level! However, they are my friends and I feel like I shouldn't do that with my friends. This is where the conflict is - If I keep doing this, I wont get sex! So I need something else.

This definitely clarify my problem right now...

1/. Meet more friends to get connection with HB9-HB10's. Continue on existing methods

2/. Get sexual experiences from other channels

3/. Cold approaches

Sweet news letter from Derek Vitalio


A lot of guys ask me whether they should use a “direct” or “indirect” approach when first approaching women.

Direct is where you make your sexual interest known to the girl upfront, right away. For example, in a direct approach you might walk up to a woman and look right into her eyes and tell her how sexy she is.

Indirect is where you talk or interact with the girl, but keep your sexual interest disguised, at least initially. In an indirect approach, you might ask a woman her opinion on something to open her.

I’m going to give you the answer to what's better and when. But the answer is not as cut-and-dry as to say direct OR indirect. Let me explain.

Let’s say you’re an average or below-average looking guy and you walk alone into a club. Across the room, you see this gorgeous woman who could sleep with any guy she wanted. In fact, all the other guys look at her hoping she’ll make eye contact with them. She’s a Perfect 10.

What if you made a DIRECT approach on this Perfect 10?

What if, as an average looking guy, and with no social proof from other girls, you walked up to her. You tell her what a nice energy she has. Or you take her hands and without saying a word start massaging them. Or you tell her a clichéd pick-up line like, “So, is it hot in here or is it just you?” in a playful way.

Even if your delivery is smooth, you have to remember something very important:

When you walk into a club, your social status is a 6.

HER social status is a 10.

A 10 will not sleep with a 6.

Sorry, I hate to say that, but it's true.

When you directly approach a Perfect 10 and immediately begin displaying interest in her, you have to keep in mind that she knows nothing about you.

You might as well be any other random guy in the club, who all want to sleep with her - and there’s not enough of her to go around. She has unlimited choice. Why would she want to sleep with you over anyone else?

In such a case, you might get a smile and a thank you for a compliment, but the direct approach alone does little to increase your social value to her.

Of course a direct approach CAN work... under different circumstances.

Let’s say that you’re incredibly good looking and well-dressed – better looking and well-dressed than 99% of the other guys in the club. You’re good looking enough that other women look at you to admire your chiseled features and rock-hard body.

When you directly approach a woman, right away she can visually SEE how great-looking you are. She’s NOTICED that other women look at you, giving you implicit social proof from the other women. Add to that you come in with very strong body language like strong eye contact, a solid smile, relaxed shoulders, and a sexy swagger.

In this case, you’re social status is more like a 9 than a 6.

Direct approaches on super-beautiful women may work for you then, because even before you’ve opened your mouth she’s already decided you have as much value as she does. The two of you have equal value.

In such a circumstance, you could tell the beautiful woman ANYTHING using ANY kind of approach and you’ll still be successful.

When else will direct approaches work?

Let’s say you’re an average-looking guy and you’re social value is an average 6 when you walk into the club. You’re normal in other words. You spot a girl who is not outright ugly, but not a head turner either - maybe a 6 or a 7 out of 10.

You walk up to her and do a direct approach. She’s surprised that any guy would be so direct with her or pay her that kind of attention.

In this case, a direct approach can work because you’re approaching a girl with the same social status as you. A 6 or a 7 will sleep with a 6 in other words.

You might even land an 8 once in a while with direct approaches if you’re nonverbal skills are good and if you play the numbers.

And guess what. There’s nothing wrong with direct approaches. If you like 6s, 7s, and occassional 8s that is. Or if you like big women for instance that most men normally pass over. You can get laid a lot this way.

But what if you’re one of the millions of guys with average looks but wants to get with really HOT women, the 9s and the Perfect 10s?

Direct approaches won’t work on 9s and 10s.

9s and 10s have too much social value to respond to an average guy who has otherwise demonstrated little or no value to them.

When you a compliment or do a direct opener on a 10, she knows she already has won you. They may smile and say thank you to a compliment, but otherwise they’ll attempt to ignore you or blow you out of the conversation. Game over.

Even if the Perfect 10 is intrigued with your direct style, it only takes the social pressure of a disapproving look from one of her girl friends to make her reject you.

For 9s and 10s you can’t openly reveal your sexual interest in them until you’ve increased your own value in their and their friend’s eyes – until you’ve become a 9 or a 10 yourself.

That’s why indirect openers, like casually asking their opinion about something, work.

By initiating the conversation in a casual way by asking the woman’s opinion, her defenses won’t go up.

You separate yourself from all the other guys who only talk to her for sex and start with how they want her.

You’ve bought yourself some time to start demonstrating value in front of her without having to deal with being ignored, back turned, or being blown out of the conversation by her or her friends.

You should look at the opinion opener as a “curiosity hook” simply to get the Perfect 10 and her friends engaged in conversation with you.

You'll find yourself holding the group's attention - at least for a moment.

That moment is really all you need. As long as you continue building your social value with her and her group of friends through interesting and funny stories, playful routines, cocky jib-jab, conversational hooks, touch, strong nonverbal cues, and so on, you’ll generally continue to hold the group.

Remember, your social value rests in how she sees you interacting with other beautiful women, even more so than what you do with her.

That's why it's so important to engage her AND her friends.

Within some minutes your value will increase from a 6, to a 7, and to an 8, climbing higher and higher as long as you come across as a cool guy who can engage them.

It also takes the pressure off of your fragile ego because you’re not laying your body and soul out there in front of girls for them to reject or accept.

After all, all you’re doing is getting their opinion!

THEN, and only AFTER you’ve built value up for yourself with her and her friends and only AFTER she’s given you “green light” signals (heavy eye contact, touches, facing toward you, laughing with you, complimenting you) do you become "direct" with her.

You only show direct interest in her AFTER she’s shown direct interest in you.

Following that formula YOU CAN NEVER BE REJECTED.

Imagine this. You casually open a group of beautiful women with an interesting opinion opener that teases their curiosity and hooks them in.

You build value to all the girls in the group by leading and controlling the girls through your stories, body language, games, and so on.

The hot girl of the group starts to give you green lights of attraction while you generally ignore her.

But now that you have social value, now that you're a 9 or a 10 like she is, when you express direct interest in her, she’s responsive and excited to your advances.

AND her friends won’t try to stop you or give her silent messages of disapproval with their eyes because they like you just as much as she does.

You are now a 9 or 10 engaging a 9 or a 10.

And 9s and 10s sleep with other 9s and 10s.

The "Brad Pitt Method"

Remember that direct openers will only work with girls who have the same social value as you do.

If Brad Pitt walks into the room, ALL the girls will stare at him because of his fame and looks and he’ll automatically have maximum social proof. He will automatically have the social status of a 10.

He could just walk up to the most beautiful woman in the room, who would normally shoot down any other guy, and start making out with her in front of everyone without having to say a word to her - the most direct kind of approach there is!

Does that mean you should listen to Brad Pitt if he gave you advice to always be super-direct with women? Obviously not.

Because what will work for him will not work for you.

However, you too can initiate direct make-outs and direct openers on Perfect 10s if you build enough social value in front of them.

Let’s say that through indirect or opinion openers, you talk to three or four groups of attractive 8s and 9s in the club, making them laugh and touch you. All the while, you do it in front of the Perfect 10.

Pretty soon you’ll look like the celebrity Mac-Daddy with all of these girls around you.

At a certain point, once you've raised your social value to that of a 10 through social proof with other girls, you’ll be able to lay a "Brad Pitt direct opener" on the Perfect 10 – just walk up to her and kiss her or directly tell her what you think of her.

She’ll respond extremely positively and want to be with you. After all, as a 10, you're the prize of the club.

So direct or indirect is not an “either or” choice.

If you’re lower in social value than the girl you want, use indirect openers as a way to get “in” and to build your social value up to her level.

Once your social-sexual value is the same as hers, in HER eyes, then go you can go direct.

Now notice how your success with extremely beautiful women largely depends on manipulating and harnessing the power of group psychology and how women look for approval from one another in selecting mates.

Of course, I can tell you all of this but you’re might be thinking to yourself – thanks Derek, but that sounds easier said than done!

Actually, it IS quite easy. Openers and groups might feel new and different to you, maybe even a little scary. But like everything else, with a little practice you get better and more comfortable with it.

The Seduction Science System expands further on the dynamics of how to get girls in clubs and how to attract the truly beautiful women you really want - not just the average ones. Seduction Science also helps you to get into the right state of mind to BE that guy who builds his social value to attract truly beautiful women.

And for more about opinion openers and direct approach techniques, I highly recommend you take a look at the Opening Magic course too.

Don’t ask yourself the question if you’re ready to start having beautiful women in your life. You ARE ready. Make the commitment right now and don’t look back for one moment.

Live the life today. I'll see you on the Lounge.

Your Friend,

Derek Vitalio