I, PUA

The Journey of a couple of budding Pick Up Artists

Monday, July 31, 2006

The natural type of seducer


I've read Robert Greene's chapter on "Naturals" over and over again. It is a pretty good description of my way of socialising. I probably have all the subtypes in me, I am innocent, I am impish, bit of a wonder and undefensively loving.

I realise the power of such quality. With the undefensive lover being the most powerful - I assume rapport, assume attraction. I understood the infectious nature of being open and absolutely sincere. You create comfort and rapport almost instantly. Playfulness (a degree of impishness) let you get away with acts that would otherwise be offensive. This gives me a chance to go further, stimulating emotions. I can appear innocent and it lower people's defenses. Innocence and impishness also equate to the absolute essence of confidence. Also, I like to imagine like a child, I have wonderful stories, pictures, advantures in my mind. I see the world in an exciting light. This is a strength.

However, I am still being held back by fear and dogma. I need to fully exploit the natural seducer in me. I need to open myself up even more. This is going to be able to create comfort and good vibe very very quickly. The power to bring people back to childhood, of pure pleasure and uncorrupted eyes will make sarging much easier and enjoyable.

Here are some of the points that I find to be truthful for me (key words in caps & bold):
    "The natural embodies the longedfor qualities of childhood—SPONTANEITY, SINCERITY, UNPRETENTIOUSNESS. In the presence of Naturals, we feel at ease, caught up in their PLAYFUL SPIRIT, transported back to that golden age.

    A child loves to play, and to create a little SELF-CONTAINED WORLD. When children are absorbed in make believe, they are hopelessly charming. They infuse their imaging with SERIOUSNESS AND FEELING. Adult Naturals do something similar, particularly if they are artists: they CREATE THEIR OWN FANTASY WORLD, and live in it as if it were the real one. Fantasy is so much more PLEASENT than reality, and since most people do not have the power or courage to create such a world, they enjoy being around those who do. Remember: the role you were given in life is not the role you have to accept. You can always live out a role of your own creation, a ROLE that fits your fantasy. Learn to play with your image, never taking it too seriously. The key is to infuse your play with the conviction and feeling of a child, making it seem natural. The more ABSORBED you seem in your own joy-filled world, the more seductive you become. Do not go halfway: make the fantasy you inhabit as radical and exotic as possible, and you will attract attention like a magnet.

    Human beings are immensely SUGGESTIBLE; their moods will easily spread to the people around them. In fact seduction depends on mimesis, on the conscious creation of a mood or feeling that is then REPRODUCED by the other person. But hesitation and awkwardness are also CONTAGIOUS, and are deadly to seduction. If in a key moment you seem indecisive or selfconscious, the other person will SENSE that you are thinking of yourself, instead of being OVERWHELMED by his or her charms. The spell will be broken. As an undefensive lover, though, you produce the opposite effect: your victim might be hesitant or worried, but confronted with someone so sure and natural, he or she will be CAUGHT UP in the mood. Like dancing with someone you lead effortlessly across the dance floor, it is a skill you can learn. It is a matter of rooting out the fear and awkwardness that have built up in you over the years, of becoming more graceful with your approach, less defensive when others seem to resist. Often people's resistance is a way of TESTING YOU, and if you show any awkwardness or hesitation, you not only will fail the test, but you will risk infecting them with your doubts."

BBC Radio 4's interview with Robert Greene


Excellent interview, it gives you a better picture of the mindset behind the brillient book The art of seduction. It gives you a lot of the insights and the interpretation of seduction by the author. Sweet.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/womanshour/2001_50_wed_03.shtml

You are going to need Real Player to be able to listen to this audio.

Structure of the game


My game structure have been changed again. It goes something like this:

1/. Work out who you are, what you can offer, what are your strengths, know your values.

2/. Work out what you want out of PU's. Exactly what it is that you are trying to get. Match that to #1.

3/. From number 1, work out the best way to package yourself.

4/. Advertise yourself, exert your presence, exert your vibe, be blatant, be strong, be natural, effortless but powerful

5/. Study and undersand your target, what makes them click, what turns them on, what makes her want you.

6/. Sales. You've got to be able to pitch your self, sell yourself. You'd need all of the above.

7/. Be your best self and be composed. Do not turn back into a wuss

Sunday, July 30, 2006

From a DJ news letter


This Tip of the day from the Don Juan New Letters from 6/25/2006 spells out my conversational techniques. If you check my eaerlier post, you'll find lots of similar insights. (Hey, I am not crazy afterall!). I find this to be particularly truthful and it helps me a lot in guiding my conversations with women. Anyway, here it is:
    IP OF THE DAY


    ** How to Talk to Women **


    By golly, you've actually met a woman.

    Maybe you're in bar. Maybe you're at the gym or laundromat. Maybe
    she's someone you know from work. Or maybe, even, you're actually
    out on a date.

    In any event, now you've got to do something scary, something
    unpredictable, something with the power to launch a future romantic
    relationship, or end one before it even gets started.

    YOU'VE GOT TO TALK TO HER.

    What do you talk about? Should you tell her about your childhood,
    your therapist, your plans for the future, the wart on your big toe?
    What if you can't think of anything to say? What if you say the
    wrong thing? And, by the way, what would be the "right" thing to
    say? Do you have a clue?

    Most guys don't. When your average gent converses with a woman,
    he's basically just flailing blindly at the wind, hoping by chance
    that something he says will "connect" with the woman and make her
    fall for him.

    Needless to say, this is not the "Don Juan" way of doing things.

    You need to have a plan. You need to know DEFINITELY what works and
    what doesn't, what to talk about and what not to talk about. You
    don't want to leave her feelings to chance or to fate. You want to
    be charming and in control.

    And that's what we're going to discuss right now.

    Now there are many many aspects of a conversation. This particular
    article focuses on the conversational TOPICS that you should focus
    on when wooing a beautiful lady. Those topics which will almost
    GUARANTEE increased interpersonal attraction. Topics which will
    leave you in complete charge of the conversation, and which will
    leave you the option, IF YOU SO DESIRE, of future conversations,
    dates, or an intense romantic relationship.

    Are you getting excited?

    Okay, so WHAT exactly do you talk about?

    Well, the first thing to remember is that men frequently err by
    talking TOO MUCH. They often monopolize conversations, droning on
    and on about topics that bore women to tears. They think they're
    "impressing" the women when, in reality, they're "depressing" the
    women.

    Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what
    you're saying doesn't necessarily mean she really is. She might
    just be acting polite while silently wishing that the date would
    hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.

    So key number one is DON'T TALK SO MUCH!

    Try not to monopolize the conversation and try to LISTEN to what SHE
    has to say. Remember, everyone is incredibly interested in what
    they themselves have to say. People will talk to you about
    themselves for as long as you will listen.

    So stop worrying about what you're going to say next. Focus all
    your attention and energy on listening to what the woman is saying
    to you. Try to visualize or "feel" what she's saying.

    This does take a little effort. It's not very hard to do, but it's
    not something that men "naturally" do. You simply have to
    concentrate.

    Now when listening you want to pay particular attention to any
    "seeds" or free information she happens to throw your way. Seeds
    refer to subtle hints that women give that point to conversational
    topics that they would like to or be willing to discuss.

    An example:

    Bob: You come here often?

    Kim: Actually this is my first time here. Just moved here from
    Florida.

    Bob: Oh. I come here every week. I love this band. It's pretty
    crowded tonight.


    Bob is clueless.

    Kim gives him plenty of free information to follow up on. It's
    almost as if she's testing him to see if he has the intelligence or
    social skills to capitalize on what she says. Bob fails.

    So what would be the "right" thing to say?

    Well... she mentions that this is her first time in the club and
    she just moved here from Florida. Bob could have properly "watered
    the seeds" by asking: a) How does she like the club, band, etc? b)
    What brought her here from Florida? c) How long has she been in the
    area? d) Where in Florida is she from? e) How long was she there?
    f) What's it like there?

    Kim's two short sentences gave Bob tons of information to follow up
    on. Tons of conversational topics that she has indirectly indicated
    that she'd like to talk about. But Bob was too worried about
    himself, too worried about the impression he was making, too worried
    about what to say next to LISTEN to what she said.

    Do you see the importance of listening now?

    You must concentrate on what she says and block everything else out
    of your mind. If you listen you never have to worry about what to
    say next because the other person is "telling" you exactly what to
    say.

    Kim even subtly indicated that she was attracted to Bob (or at least
    not repulsed by him). How? She didn't blow him off.

    She gave him some free information to talk to her about. This may
    have been a conscious decision on her part or it may have been a
    somewhat unconscious act. In any event, Bob didn't pick up on it
    and blew his chances with her.

    Keep in mind that if a woman likes you or would like to get to know
    you better, she will GIVE YOU free information to follow up on. She
    will throw out some seeds for you to water. If she's not attracted
    to you, she won't give you much of anything and it will be very
    difficult to maintain a decent conversation with her. No matter how
    charming you are, if she doesn't "help you out some" you'll
    eventually have to admit defeat and walk away.

    So be sure to listen for the topics she'd like to discuss.

    Now in order to converse for maximum attraction, you need to keep
    two other things in mind. You need to tell her about yourself, and
    you need to maintain a proper talk/listen ratio.

    You may have heard or read somewhere that people like to talk about
    themselves and that you should spend most of your time listening and
    asking questions if you want others to like you. This is true...
    to a certain extent.

    People DO like to talk about themselves and they DO like those who
    listen, ask questions, and seem interested in what they're saying.

    But...

    If you're goal is to charm this lady, you've got to do more than
    that. You've got to tell her something about yourself.
    Specifically, you've got to "tell her" that YOU TWO ARE VERY MUCH
    ALIKE.

    You do this by making "me-too" statements.

    That is, it is desirable to bring yourself into the conversation
    when you can relate yourself to something she's talking about or
    make yourself seem similar to her.

    For example:

    Kim: I really miss Miami.

    Jim: I can imagine. I spent two weeks in Miami last summer. I
    loved it. Even thought about moving there myself.


    Jim is smooth.

    Jim didn't ask a question (this time). He told Kim something about
    himself that made him seem similar to her. Now if Jim has also been
    listening and asking questions, then he's probably doing very well
    with Kim.

    A good talk/listen ratio would be around 40/60 or 30/70. That is,
    you want to spend around 30 or 40 percent of the time talking, and
    about 60 to 70 percent of the time listening. And you should spend
    as much of that 30 to 40 percent as possible in the "me-too zone."

    Think about it this way...

    Let's assume you just went on a dinner date with a lady you like
    very much. If you monopolized the conversation and spent most of
    the time telling her how "wonderful" you are, you can pretty much
    expect there won't be a second date. I hope you can understand
    this.

    On the other hand, imagine you'd spent the entire two hours together
    sitting there, listening, and asking her questions. You probably
    did much better. She did seem happy. She did seem to enjoy the
    conversation.

    But still...

    After the date she's going to go home and think about the date. And
    she's going to think about you. She's going to think about whether
    she should spend more time with you or not.

    The fact that you haven't said much of anything all evening is going
    to be your downfall... BECAUSE SHE HAS NOTHING TO THINK ABOUT.

    You haven't told her anything about yourself. She still has no idea
    if she should be interested in you or not. She knows you don't
    monopolize the conversation and you're a good listener. And she
    likes that. But that's not enough to spark any kind of emotion in
    her.

    Now imagine you'd spent 60 to 70 percent of the date listening to
    her (really listening and asking questions), and about 30 to 40
    percent of the time telling her about yourself. Specifically,
    telling her about yourself in a way that makes the two of you seem
    very similar.

    This time when she goes home, sits down, grabs something to drink,
    and starts reminiscing about the date (and you), she's going to have
    something substantial to think about. She's going to think what a
    wonderful conversationalist you are. You didn't monopolize the
    conversation. You didn't bore her with details of your job, your
    childhood, or the health of your colon.

    And because you spent a substantial amount of time pointing out how
    similar the two of you are, she's going to think that you are very
    SPECIAL. (After all, you're just like her. You must be.)

    People always like others who are similar to themselves. By being
    similar to me, you essentially validate my perceptions of the world.
    I will see you as clever, intelligent, charming, and likeable...
    because you're like me.

    (It's true that opposites do SOMETIMES attract. But only under
    certain situations. On the other hand, similars ALMOST ALWAYS
    attract. You should always go for the similarity angle during the
    first part of a relationship. You can reveal to her your "unique"
    qualities later.)

    And don't worry or feel cheated because you don't get to talk about
    the things you want to talk about. If you play your cards right
    during the first few conversations or dates, you'll have plenty of
    time later on to bore her with all your "interesting" stories.

    The first few conversations (dates) are critical and you have to
    play them right. That means listening for free info, asking
    interested questions, and making "me too" statements.

    It's a simple 1, 2, 3.

    Allen Thompson

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Technique: Topics


I pay a lot of attention on topics. Basically, I am not a person who has a diversed experience in my life, but what I lack, I make up for with my imagination. I tend to over-analyse the tiniest aspect of anything. This turned out to be a useful skill to have when it comes to conversations.

Your imagination and analysis can be applied to emotions and feelings. How does that piece of rock make you feel? What does it remind you of? What story you've heard or experienced can be related. Try to paint pictures in your heads, and try to really understand how you paint those pictures so that you can paint it in someone else with words. You have to be in touch of those explicit feelings. More often then not, many emotions are linked together. e.g., the idea of beaches can easily be linked to the erotic, and can easily be implied. Use your mind in your free time to link all these things, apply it to everything. Once you can see everything around you as positive feelings, sensual and erotic feelings, it is easy for you to talk about ANYTHING and stimulate specific responses. You have essentially became a SENSUAL person. Your perception, your reality is filled with it.

Girls want a man like that. A man who's every word have spice to it. Topics is no longer relavent anymore - whatever you get yourself into, you can relate it back to the feelings, the emotions. She will be dieing to relate those feelings back to you! She's been waiting for that chance, waiting for a real man who can let her do that.

This is when you both are being real, expressing your true self freely. Relying on hot-topics is for chumps, the PUA turns everything into his favours predictably. Nonetheless, there will be girls who is incapable of relating back. Don't worry about them, let them go. They are likely not a lot of fun anyway*.


*Note: My theory is that there is a type of people who constantly rely on external stimuli to stimulate their senses. In a way, they are like drug addicts - they NEED that external factor to give them that hit. Similarly, people use travelling, intense experiences, changing friends and partners, new jobs, everything to keep themselves stimulated, that somehow they are better, their sense of well being comes from the "experiences" they collected. That is all good, except that I much prefer people who radiate out from the heart. They have imagination, they are original, can appreciate anything and not dependent on specific things. I prefer those who see the world in a beautiful light, with full passion. You can easily test whether a girl is like that by seeing how context/topic dependent they are.

Going for the kiss


I've collected 300+ unread news letters in my inbox on sarging. I'm finally more free to go through them and there is a really good news letter that is exactly what I need. Here it is:
    Dear Stephen,

    Recently, I was out on a date with a great girl I met at a party. A number of times in the evening, she would look at me and hold the stare a bit longer than usual. I kept thinking, "she wants me to kiss her". I was so nervous though, that I never went for it! What is the best way to set-up a kiss with a girl? I mean, I know how to kiss her, I just wonder if there is a cool way to make the move. Help!

    Thanks,

    Darren
    CT

    Darren, Darren, Darren...I feel your pain, man. First of all, don't worry - this is by far the TOP question I get from guys. "How do I smoothly go from talking to kissing?" Surprisingly, even the most skilled guys I've come across are constantly looking to handle this tricky situation a bit better. This skill is covered in my ebook, "How To Get A Girlfriend" and in the CEIC audio product, "Natural Attraction".

    Here we go - the step-by-step guide to being super smooth when it's time to smootch:

    In my estimation, this is where most guys blow it. They know the girl is ready to be kissed, yet they freeze up and pass a bunch of good opportunities to make a move, waiting for that perfect one. Even worse, they'll wait hoping the woman will make the first move.

    If you're the kind of guy who hesitates, I got news for you... There are no perfect windows of opportunity, just many good ones, and 99% of the time she will not be the first to initiate any form of intimacy. If she does, consider yourself lucky.

    How do we handle this slightly awkward situation? Very simply. The key here is spotting these good, small windows of opportunity and then taking advantage of them. Still better is to just create these windows yourself.

    Let's cover this point-by-point:

    1) The first thing to make sure of is that you're both having a good time, getting along well and physical contact has been established. It could be anything from holding hands, to a playful push on the shoulder. At this point it is important that she has touched you in some way indicating interest on her part.

    2) When you feel you have reached this point, start slowing down the energy of the interaction. Start subtly moving a bit closer to her, slowing down your speech, and take longer pauses between sentences. The thought here is SUBTLE.

    3) Now here's the secret, the one move that will assure you to be remembered by her as the smoothest guy ever... During each of those pauses in your conversation, stare at her lips. You can even start talking again, though slowly, still staring at her lips. Start slowly moving in closer. The words you're saying at this point become irrelevant; the sexual tension in the air will be too thick.

    4) Slowly move your eyes from her mouth to her eyes and back again. If she has not moved away, or shown any sign of unease, you can place a hand on her hip and bring her in closer.

    5) Usually she will lean in the rest of the way and kiss you. After all, at this stage, your lips should only be an inch or two away from hers.

    Congratulations! In her mind, you are the world's smoothest man.

    If you have questions that you feel would be appropriate for our mailbag, send me an email to:

    Stephen@ceimageconsulting.com

    Often, your question is on the minds of many guys. So, go ahead and ask it! Also, as you might imagine, I get a lot of emails. When you send me your question, please put "Mailbag" in the subject line.

    Enjoy!

    Stephen Nash.
I've had so many opportunities in the past few months. I really need to get this bit handled. I really like the slowing down bit. I can see how it will crank up the sexual tension to the max! Sweet. So going to do that next time.

Conversational skills


I have new insights in the area of conversations. The central idea is RELATING. At first, I was introduced to the idea of being a good listener. So I just listened and of couse, that is a dumb thing to do. Then, I analysed the speaker's speech and agreed to them. That is of course insufficienc as well. What I find most efficient and effective now is to relate.

What is relating. Relating is to be an reflective listener and reply in assumptive commenting using experiences of your own. Now what does it mean? It means that first, you have to listen carefully to your target, and you have to be able to get the gist of the speech and then, show that you understand and appreciate it by presenting your own situation/experiences that share the essence of the other person's speech.

This should for the basis to set up the context of your conversation. By structure your conversations this way, you will be able to show that you genuinely understand and appreciate the other person, keep the focus of your conversation on relatable topics such as emotions, feelings and attitudes, make your exchange more open-ended, get the other person engaged, enable you to reward her (and hence SOI and escalate her) and slowly set yourself up as the leader for the conversation. Also, more importantly, you should achieve a good balance of exchanges where not only is she talking to you, she is also curious about you and are engaged to find out about you. You'd need that balance to achieve appropriate tension and satisfaction of the conversation.

Hmmm, this got me thinking... social hooking by commiting her in a conversation is just like getting phone number or securing a coffee date... It means nothing. What is meaningful is that she WANTS to be talking to you - And this is what I should focus my work on. If she wants to talk to you, and you make it easy (providing opportunities and setting up challenges), the conversation will be easy. Without those, the conversations will be difficult. Once again, this happens really early on in the interaction.

Conveying your personality


Once you've got your personality (reality) down. It is useless to stay in your head, on some paper, or written down in a blog somewhere. You need to advertise it.

Fortunately, our beliefs and attitudes boardcast itself without us knowing it. That is why inner game is so powerful - it works on its own and it works all the time, without much effort. Everything also seems natural too. You are not being being deceptive or cunning. However, in order to have a strong reality, you'd need to know how to amp up your signals. You'd need to know how to convey your personality.

This is what I am trying to understand.

The importance of inner game


I've had an epiphany about inner game and why it is so important. People say how important it is to know who you are and what you want. I have heard of that a thousand times, have been kinda accepted it but not understand why nor the real essence of it.

The reason why inner game is important is because of several reasons

1/. Knowing what you REALLY want rather than what you THINK you want. This is important because we are influenced by society a lot, often, what we think we want is NOT what we really want, and even worse, contradictory to what we really want. We all have a lot of this, especially with regard to women.

2/. Really understanding what you want. You have to know exactly what you want or you will not pursue after anything. Things are often discouraging and you need to know what you are after to motivate yourself. You also won't make excuse for what you are because thats just the way it is.

3/. Have strong ethics, values and loyalty. You need to know that you won't act in antisocial ways before you demand anything from anyone. It should be a basis. If you are to involve anyone else, you'd need to know that what you do is not evil. Only by doing so that you can be confident and have pride. Less influenced by others judging you.

4/. Know what you have to offer. I believe you will have to be able to give before you can take. You are in a constant state of supplication if you have nothing to offer.

5/. Know your strengths. Once again, this is about knowing what you have to offer, what your values are and what others get out of you and why should anyone choose to be with you and not others.

Without knowing these things, you are lost, you will be disoriented. You need direction, you need a strong foundation. In a chaotic world out there, people are constantly trying to put you into their realities. There is a constant power struggle and if your own reality is not strong enough, you will end up being in someone else's. It is not neutral, its not like nothing happens to you if you do not act! If you choose to not do anything about it, accept that things are going to happen to you, and expect that it is likely not going to be pleasent most of the time. You are constantly meeting different people and each one of their reality is different. You don't want to keep chaning yourself to adapt to other's realities. You need others to accept you for who you are, not who you are pretending to be.

If you respect yourself, that you deserve a better life - DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. If you respect others that they too, deserve better, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. You are a free agent, you are not a child anymore. Take responsibility for your own destiny and do not blame anyone else for it!

Reality


Yesterday I went out with Jimmy and Falcon. We were with a group of other friends too and one of the new comers, a girl, interacted with us for awhile. It was a good example of how girls will try to put you into their reality. We were laughing and she turned to us "Stop laughing, don't laugh at me!" The AFC would have tried to explain himself, try to talk to her saying something like "no, but you are nice, can I talk to you" or make some nerdy joke about it or act defensive and angry. By doing that, you've essentially gotten into her reality. She expects those things from you and she elicited those predictable responses from you. You are her puppets, her little toy... YOU ARE A DOORMAT! And what you are not? you are not a challenge, you are not interesting, you are not composed, you are not strong because you have no reality of your own - She gain no respect from you and there will be no attraction.

Is that really want we want? Is that self respect if we let her get away with that? - NO!

Now I am not saying that we should yell and abuse her for being a bitch for doing that. That would be defensive and uncool. You've got to be nonchalant and composed. You just kindly direct her into YOUR REALITY! Everything starts here, it is about how you live YOUR LIFE, not hers, not anyone else's. If you live in a girl's reality, it will probably be something like this:

- All men are the same
- Men want to get into your pants
- Men is selfish and irresponsible
- Men are all takers and disloyal
- Men are cunning and girls have to be extra careful
- Men are useless, I will get what I want out of them and then jump onto something better

Now do you want to live in that reality? If not, are you sick of just abandoning those hot poontangs because they have a shitty reality? Well, I don't want to live in that reality nor do I want to be a catholic priest! (mind you, priests probably have more sex than I do).

Let us define their reality for them. Let us show them a glimpse of the wonders of living in our reality. Most of the time they havn't even experienced what it is like, they couldn't even conceive the ideas! Now it is not their fault, some people simply havn't had the chance to be exposed to it, lack the imagination, or have been negative influenced by evil fucks.

We tend to get angry about it because girls with that shitty reality have abused us before. That people we cared about have been burnt by those attitudes before. It is no good I agree. But to fight it, to make a positive change, we have to be positive ourselves. We have to stop reacting and start thinking how can we change it, how can we make an impact? We have to demonstrate it, and use our own strategics and techniques to exert our reality. Because we like our reality, we like our attitudes, we like our ways of relating to people. And we will not live any other ways.

Friday, July 28, 2006

My attitude towards picking up


I've heard of two words angry women used to describe men who pick up women. They are "predatory" and "opportunist", both were used to describe feeding patterns in biology, both were used to describe how men are just like animals. Now this post is not a discussion about whether that is true or not, nor even about whether it is good to be an animal or a human...

This post is about how this attitude reflects the reaction of women towards men in general, and most women are fearful of men because of that. Their reality is that men are either predatory or opportunitists, women are the victims, men's prey. Like many others, I just take that in as a reality and it is frustrating because I don't want to be seen as being either a predator, or some maggot churning over anything that comes through our way - yet I still like women heaps!

After months of reflecting on my attitudes and my beliefs, I came to an understand that we live in a world where men have been demonised. So much so that even men believe that we are demons ourselves. Today, i figured out one thing. I figured out how much of myself have been molded, shaped, and caged in, how much women, and society have been molded, shaped and bondaged in a certain way.

I would like to be free. I'd like to know who I really am and what do I really want to take and give in return to this world.

A very good friend of mine asked me "what kind of girl do you like?" I really didn't know. It is better now but I still don't know. One thing that really stuck in my mind was a quote from Being John Malkovich:
    Maxine: Here's the thing: If you ever get me, you wouldn't have a clue what to do with me.
What I know for certain is that I respect women, I like women, not to exploit women. I hate anyone exploiting anyone and the last thing I want is to do that. However, it hurts me again and again when I am treated that way. I find myself shying away from picking up women simply because I'd hate to believe that I am exploiting others. However, I do want women, I like women, from an instinctive level, from a gut level. - I know I do. A beautiful woman is like a beautiful sunset, you can't help but look at it. A force of nature so overwhelming that you loose your sense of existence in front of her. You loose your sense of time. You are so compelled to do things that you are doing it before you consciously know it. That is when you feel alive. That is when you click.

And I like that feeling. That is what I want. It is a wrong attitude to equate the love of women as a sin, as something lower, something men try to get out of women. Just like a sunset, it does not live for more than 30 minutes, but it exists in our heart and the appreciation of it is undeniably truthful and eternal. Fuck picking up, fuck scoring, fuck relationships, fuck everything. My appreciation for beautiful women is instantaneous and only lives for as long as it last. Yet it is genuine, it is truthful, there no ulterior motives, no reasons. It was sort of described by a quote in Adaptation:
    John Laroche: Point is, what's so wonderful is that every one of these flowers has a specific relationship with the insect that pollinates it. There's a certain orchid look exactly like a certain insect so the insect is drawn to this flower, its double, its soul mate, and wants nothing more than to make love to it. And after the insect flies off, spots another soul-mate flower and makes love to it, thus pollinating it. And neither the flower nor the insect will ever understand the significance of their lovemaking. I mean, how could they know that because of their little dance the world lives? But it does. By simply doing what they're designed to do, something large and magnificent happens. In this sense they show us how to live - how the only barometer you have is your heart. How, when you spot your flower, you can't let anything get in your way. "
WOW! Two Charlie Kaufman quotes! I impress myself... teehee. Anyway, my point is - Does it really matter whether there is an explicit outcome or not? does it really matter whther there should be a reason for us to do things at all? Does it have to be sex, does it have to be validation, does it have to be pride, egotism, abuse?

NO! I'd rather having it purely as it is and not question it anymore. That would be the attitude I want! I want to have positive interactions, wether it is platonic, or sexual. I don't want to be held down by dogma or outcome. That is for chumps! When I want to interact with someone, as long as it is ethical and not in other's way, there is no reason to feel bad about it. Be proud of your feelings, do not be ashamed or embarrassed. If someone is held down by dogma, it is them! As Juggler said: "be prepared to be misunderstood".

Thursday, July 27, 2006

awkwardness is linked to intimacy


We feel awkward when we feel unprotected, vulnerable and open, if not naked. Awkwardness elicit a strong emotion and it is easily turned into the feeling of intimacy.

This can be useful. Instead of enforcing the negative aspects of awkwardness, use it.

Reality distortion field


According to Robert Greene, central to seduction is the ability to influence others and to change perceptions. From months of study and practice, it appears that a magical mechanism to achieve influence and changing perceptions is mirroring.

People tend to mirror others subconsciously and can be attuned to other people subliminally. It is possible to influence them using attitudes and mindframs without the use of words. Your body language, your actions your eyes can be more hypnotic than words. Once again, similar to the word form of hypnosis, the unspoken hypnosis is more effective when you HYPNOTISE YOURSELF!

I think that a lot of the different methods of PU have a large component of this mechanism. That is why the inner game is so important. Inner game is practically hypnotising yourself, inflluencing yourself with new values. It is well known that with the right mindsets and attitudes, it will drive your actions and magically attract girls (e.g., Alpha male are attractive).

So, how do you get others to mirror you? It works similar to NLP, you start with the subtle, subliminal messages. Then, you start with the small things, and making others comfortable and safe. Then, you turn the dial up until they cannot turn back. Everyting has to make sense, transition smooth and natural.

Therefore, naturally, the first thing you need to change in others is to put them in the moment, make them comfortable and put them in a fun mood. To do that, hypnotise yourself to express those things in you. Once you do, you can interact with others that way and they will mirror you. If they mirror, you are in. They are hooked.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

I UNDERSTAND NOW!


I have been studying the Rake type of seducers again. I finally undertood it - The way to use the Oneitis!

Oneitis is essential to be the Rake. It is the primary driving force. The rake is RISK and DARKNESS. The rake shows weakness that women enjoys - it makes them feel attractive. The rake is about pure pleasure, the rake lives the moment. The rake let themselves go, surrender to his weaknesses.

We should all love women like that, to fall under their spell like that. We should be put under a different state of mind, don't fight it. What really bothers us is not how we are overwhelmed with women. We are upset because a lot of time times, what we want contradicts with what we ought to do. We are caged by the confines of society.

Remember to keep this question in your mind - What would you do if there is no society?

Oneitis is good if you extract all the good stuff from it. But you tolerate no abuse, you tolerate no insecurities from yourself. Abuse and insecurities are for dorks. Being enslaved to a woman's charms is not. And another important thing about oneitis - There are other women out there. Let yourself being overwhelmed by them too!

It is about our ability to feel. It is all within us. Like bing open, relaxed, and attracted. Everything you do have a mirroring effect on others. This is the PUA aura. This is your reality distortion field - Anyone who enters it enters YOUR WORLD, YOUR REALITY. If we have intense feelings, if we live in the moment, if we can bring out the most from others - infect others to do so.

Switching modes


Robert Greene talked about the 9 seduction styles in his book The Art of Seduction. For the last two months, I have been focusing on being the Natural and the Charmer. I believe that I have a fundamental competence in both these seduction types. Increasngly, I am interested in the Rake type of seduction.
    "The Rake: A woman never quite feels desired and appreciated enough. She wants attention, but a man is too often distracted and unresponsive. The Rake is a great female fantasy-figure — when he desires a woman, brief though that moment may be, he will go to the ends of the earth for her. He may be disloyal, dishonest and amoral, but that only adds to his appeal. Unlike the normal, cautious male, the Rake is delightfully unrestrained, a slave to his love of women. There is the added lure of his reputation: so many women have succumbed to him, there has to be a reason. Words are a woman's weakness, and the Rake is a master of seductive language. Stir a woman's repressed longings by adapting the Rake's mix of danger and pleasure."
I need to develop this latent quality in me. And this is what I am going to be focusing on for the next stages.

Attractiveness


My recent experience have given me great insights into the ways of the PUA. I like Jimmy's comment to one of my earlier posts
    "Its gotta be the easiest thing to slip back into. You get one hint of success with a chick and it's like getting a fucking virus or something. They fuck you up. The power of women dude."
You know what this demonstrates? This shows how inexperienced I am. I've asked for it for months and months, I wanted incredible connection, the ability to have the best time with women, have fun and be engaging, mutual respect - everything I wanted. It was my first success - and I danced around and freaked out like a little girl...

I can see how it works now. You need to relax and be opened. Those are the two KEY FACTORS! "Chill the fuck out man" should be my mantra. You know, any defensiveness and neediness is you being tense, being tigh up the ying-yang. You need to relax, and be opened, that is the only way you can open your perceptions. And only by opening up your perceptions that you can see how wonderful women are, and how cool it is to interact with them. You want to have the best experiences with them. Not dogma, not values imposed by society or your parents, not fear from the past, not weight down by the possible future, not hollywood big titties fantasies. Only when you are chilled that you are free - free to access that innate attraction we have towards women.

I was reading "sexual secrets for men" and they talked about this concept: Feeling wonderful emotions and intimacy is not something that comes from others, it comes from within us. A woman can spark this feeling but it is not up to them, it is up to us.

This is really profound to me, and it resonates with my recent oneitis experience. Essentially, I've met a woman who can spark my interests, my emotions and my desires to fullfill my fantasies. Those things are inside me all the time, I just don't know how to access it. When a woman catalyse my reaction to my own desires and fantasies, I glow like a madafarka.

Interestingly, the more in touch you are with your feelings (being aware), the more experience you are with intense feelings, and the more certainty you are in knowing what you want and how to get it -- IS ATTRACTIVE! This sounds like girly talk but It is what works. It is something that Don Juan's are good at. If you can do that, everything you do will show confidence, and attractiveness.

Being able to lead a woman's imagination has got to be one of the BEST thing a man can offer a woman! You've probably seen it - like all those romance novels, chick flicks, TV shows like sex and the city. They all show one thing - How much women are into that shit. It might not be so important to us, but to a woman, it is gold.

Fruits of labour


I have been extremely busy so I didn't have to time to explore myself much, but after some rest today, I got back into it.

We must remember that the reason we choose the path of the PUA is not only to have great sex and validation. Those are nice things, but whats more important is the journey of self discovery and improvement. This has got to be the most interesting, most intense, difficult, painful yet powerfully enlightening journey I have ever gone into in my entire life. It works your heart and brain muscles really hard. You train your mental, emotional and spirital self intensively.

It is funny how commitment to the path of the PUA forces you to get better. Time and time again, it was very painful to abide to some of the rules. At first, it was the fear of talking to strangers. I remember the anxiety, how you worry about what to say and what people might think of you. Then, it was the eye contact and kino. You'd just had to force yourself to do it. Each one of these little things push my anxiety level to the max. I hated it, and still do, but when you concour your fear at the end, the fruits of your labour is absolutly sweet. Your understand of WHY you have to do things in a certain way get you to another level of consciousness when it comes to women.

No pain, no gain. That is an eternal truth in the PU arts. David DeAngelo is right about the various stages of learning - you will resist new ideas, and you need to be beaten down by it in order to be enlightened again. To which the process cycles itself again and again. I have had enough experience to know the truth of this. We must remember that success is just around the conor of failure. The bigger the pain, the more you get out of it - you are working your heart muscles out. And what separates the Don Juans from Chumps is the strength of their hearts.

Oneitis is good.


This is going to be my project. As a PUA, I shall face my deepest fears and concour it! It is all about the choice of letting things get to you negatively, or allowing you to use it benefitially. Like many other things, I want to turn it around to my favour. Many of the most mind fucking things are the most powerful things (and thats why they are so mind fucking). Oneitis has got to be one of the most powerful thing ever - I know what it can do to me, and to others. I have seen it with my own eyes, how it can drive others off the edge of sanity.

The ability to master oneitis should allow me to use it at will, and to keep myself from harmful effects.

I remember watching Don Juan DeMarco - Don Juan is the greatest lover of all time, he has concoured more than a thousand women. To him, he gives each woman pleasure, and he loves each and every single one of them intensly. He is the ultimate form of the PUA - it is no coincident that PUAs at SoSauve.com call themselves DJ's (short for Don Juans).

It is clear that with my current mindframe and attitude, I cannot possibly be a Don Juan. According to Robert Greene, Don Juans are the "Rake" type of seducers, they just adore women. I must say that my desire for women is not very intense. This is partly the problem - I am beginning to realise how jaded I am. I know I am jaded before, but my severity is way beyond my imagination. I used to think DJ's are weak, they are slaves to their impulses. But who is weaker? Those who submit to their own desires, or those who submit to the fear of failure?

A true DJ know what he wants and is not afraid of going after it - I am still afraid of what I want. A true DJ acknowledges that he is in love with his women, eventhough it is sad at times, they are at peace with it and be able to move on. The truth is this - I have let myself fall in love (ok, getting into oneitis) a few times in my life - to be exact, 4 times. And you know what? Each time I do, the intensity of positive emotions grows exponantially, while the pain of the fall is reduced. This must be one of those cases where you just have to have the experience. The more experienced you are the better you are at it (i.e., getting more benefit out of it while not getting hurt after it).

I am overly excited about this oneitis because it is the firs time I feel this. It is special, but I am sure I am able to do more of that from now on. It will become a standard. I am able to see women in a new light. I think, being able to do this is special. It is one of the stregths of a PUA or DJ - That you have the experience, knowledge and skill to bring out those intense feelings from within people. It took me 28 years to understand this, better late than never.

Congratulations IPUA!


We've reached 1000 visitors! Sweet!

The down side of oneitis.


Sigh. I am fully reminded of the full dosage of what oneitis is. Before, I was very happy about it - as you do. You find someone nice, you are excited, you are mezmerised by how wonderful the other person is, you indulge in how the other person is validating you.

It is so easy to forget the horror of the other side of oneitis.

I am not kidding, it is a horror! The sick feeling inside, the emptiness, the way you feel absolute worthlessness. The fear, the disorientation. It is the worse kind of coming down of all. That is why people "love" each other, why they "cannot live without each other". It is nothing more than oneitis.

After a few days of feeling awesomeness, I am coming down from it all. It is no fun I tell you. Anyone who's been through this can testify. I remember exactly waht it is like to give your power away. To give your control away -- Your ability to depend on yourself, to enjoy what each moment's got, your cool, your lack of worry and looking forward to the future.

You get a chronic worry, jealousy. You start wondering what is she up to, why isn't she calling me etc. Does she like me? What about her ex, that guy shes talking to...

No, not again. Not again. If anything, I am afraid of that. It is fuckedup-ness to the max. I want out.

Well, its about the millionth time I've said this...

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Oneitis


I've got oneitis coming at me in all directions man! Well, at least, in the PUA sense, I've got oneitis on the french chick - I am actually missing her. FFS, why does this happen to me? I thought I was over oneitis! GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF~

God damn. This has to be over. I've got to go out and sarge! I need to cure my oneitis!

For the girl with everything :)



iBuzz - the iPod controlled vibrator!!

Monday, July 24, 2006

Bla bla bla...


I feel like I am kinda lost here. Perhaps I am pushing myself too much. Things seems to be coming together but it also feels like I am plateauing. My subconscious seems like it is asking a lot of questions at the moment, it is searching for something.

Last night, I went to Falcon's place for a dinner party. Yes, dinner was sweet and the hospitality was exceptional. I really liked the dinner party because the vibe was really good. Interaction was equally spreaded, no agenda. Intellectual yet personal. There was no in-jokes, having a diverged conversation. Everyone was being real. I liked it. I was comfortable and I felt involved. There were times where I diverged conversations a bit. I listened and related back to the conversations. This is really ideal, I wish all conversations were like that. I guess I at least charmed my new friends a bit - seems like they liked me. I ended up talking to Falcon till 4am. It was good fun and we explored a lot of really cool ideas. Will definitely do it again.

I have to be careful with my defensiveness. Recently, I tend pressure myself less on making a fun vibe out of people. I have been ejecting from unpleasent interactions a lot. I simply could not talk to some people - people who I have interacted with for sometime. There are people who I get along with very well and can just talk about anything and be comfortable. Then, there are the others whom I will just have nothing to say. Perhaps this is normal, that we really dont have much in common. Or that they just dont know how to relate to others the way I wanted it to. I seem to have no problem with strangers. It always seems to be easier with strangers. I have to be careful that I am not ejecting too much out of being defensive. I kinda have been branding others boring rather quickly. Being a bit more judgementa. I guess I am still accomodating and accepting, but I simply run away and think that they don't really deserve my time.

Similar thing applies to girls... I kinda have been accepting the fact that I don't care about most girls. This is also contrasted with teh french chick where she just stands out from everyone else. I mean, why should I settle for 2nd best? If others cannot relate or be interesting or anything, why should I care? The french chick made me realise that there are others out there who I will actually like. I kinda have a raised standard in interaction these days. Eventually, I will have to deal with sub-optimal people. OH well, I dont know.

I question myself a bit. Am I loosing my confidence? I have been getting successes lately, but I question whether it was luck or its really my improved skill... I don't know, I need more consistent success as support. I think i have changed somehow, it is definitely different from before. But I have changed subconsciously. It was not decisions based. I think the change is something like - I am just Being... Maybe this is similar to the idea of the 4 stages of learning
    1/. Unconscious unknown
    2/. Conscious unknown
    3/. Conscious known
    4/. Unconscious known.
This meant to tell you how at a higher level, you've mastered your skill that you don't need to think about it. Well, most of my PU work was designed to be used subconsciously anyways...

I think I might follow up on the loose ends I have with various girls before I explore more. I will still go out and wait for opportunities but I will never go out on purpose too much. Just throw myself into situations and see what happens.

I need to learn how to AMOG people big time. I need to learn how to deal with competition as it is getting to me sometimes.

I have been doing things right for some time already. There are few things that I did wrong. It is so true that you learn more from mistakes. I feel like I didn't learn anything recently. I need to subject myself to more challenges.

Need to explore more about sexuality.

Summary for my early game


It is so very difficult to develop the structure for creating the first meeting attraction. So I am just going to randomly list points to help me figure it out.

- You must create attraction early on. Possibly before you even notice a girl. This means that you should be "on" at all times. You have to live a life that you like, you carry yourself in ways that you like, you express yourself constantly. You are a walking advertisement of yoursef, you have a body that won't rest. This is important because it will open up a lot of opportunity for you and will create a positive image of you even before you open, making subsequent steps easier. This requires a lot of inner game and a long commitment in self improvment. It gets more and more difficult as time goes by. The more opportunity you miss, the more difficult it is to create sexual attraction. They might even resent you for taking so long.

- Chumps fail to see signals around them. The AFC complains about how no one is interested in them because - First, they refuse to believe that others are interested in them, they can easily talk themselves out of it. Second, chumps gives up easily, even if they see a genuine interest ECing him, he will talk himself out by making rationalised excuses like "I have no time for girls". Chump's habits of not constantly searching for signals make them non-receptive to signals. The PUA doesn't have this problem, he picks up the tiniest hint of interest and be able to capitalise it.

- Assume attraction. Girls like guys as much as we like girls. They perv at us, check us out, everything. That is interest and attraction, they are there and there is no doubt about it. SO ASSUME ATTRACTION. They reason why they don't dwell on it is because other reasons and they can talk themselves out of it as easy as a chump talk themselves out of opening.

- Girls are seductive. They want to be attractive. In fact, even men enjoy being attractive. Average girls are happy that others are attracted to them because of their looks, or how cool they act. Superficial stuff. Quality girls want more, they want you to be attracted to them by who they really are. Girls wants to seduce men, and they will put hints here and there to seduce you. This is their vanity, their self esteem is at stake here - a great opportunity for the PUA to charm them up.

- Gain proximity. If you are not close to your target, it is very difficult to make a move. Many invitations to opening are fleeting and you don't want to loose the opportunity because you need to push through people to get to her. Your delibrate act might scare or embarras her. There might be other variables that will stuff you up in the mean time. If you are close, everything is natural and spontenaous.

- Assume rapport. Otherwise, rapport is absent by default. Bypass the bullshit of building rapport by assuming it. You CAN create rapport by assume it, it is that simple. This is misdirection, you don't want to wrestle with her mind to gain rapport, you want to spend time getting her to sarge you and throw herself out to you.

- Openness. You need to be open, and cannot be defensive. A confident person is not afraid of opening himself. A genunine person have nothing to loose, an alpha man take risks, a personate person is uncontrollably forthfront. None of them make excuse for themselves, none of them act defensive. They laugh at failure. This is attractive. Openness also implies that you know yourselve very well, experienced and confident. It showes that you have no agenda and that you are honest.

- Be in the moment. If you are not in the moment, others will reciprocate. If you are in the moment, your attitude is infectious. People are themselves when they are in the moment, people are not being held down by the past or the future, they are not shielding up, they are not hiding behind the cold, cerebral world. They are not worried about you having agenda, because this is all just the spur of the moment. People are more emotional this way

- Total commitment in your actions. A lack of commitment is an indication of defensiveness. You are afraid of loosing something, you are afraid of being open, you are NOT being in the moment. I am talking about commitment in the action, not an outcome. You have to be totally committed to your kino, your conversations, your relations. You have to throw yourself out there. Being totally committed make you appear genuine and confident. (Jerks are totally committed because they cannot see consequences, but they are committed, and that is attractive)

- Accept any outcome. Your ability to be happy regardless of outcome make you a strong person. Your happiness comes fron within and you need no validation from others responding well to you. You retain your power and can walk away any time. You are not needy, you are not insecure, you are composed and will never loose your cool. Be a bouncing ball, bounce back readily.

- Being genuinely attracted to the real her. You need to be able to size someone up immediately. You need to know what you want or what kind of girl and relations you want. This is confidence and shows that you are aware of yourself. You have the ability to see others for who they really are - you speak to their cores. You need to be attracted to the real her, not the shell outside. In fact, don't be impressed by her appearance at all. Once you've decided that you are attracted, be totally committed to it. Because you know exactly what you want, if she fits your criteria, your attraction is justified and truthful. This is absolutely attractive to your target.

- Use the escalation and rewarding system. Get her to jump hoops, then reward her. You are the chooser, make her entertain you. In doing so, you get to appreciate her, you get reasons to be attracted to her. She will like it, she will work for it. Validate her to the max here.

- Provide opportunities. Every next step must be natural. You need to provide opportunities for her to do things and get on with you. Don't make it difficult for her. Create situations where it would actually be awkward to NOT do the things you want her to. Create situations where it only make sense to do what you want her to.

- Being a challenge. Get her to jump hoops, make her work. Appeal to her vanity here, get her to do things that is not so sensible, something spontenaous, get her out of her reality and into yours. A challenge is attractive.

- Push-pull. Never let the line go slack. You need to reward and neg appropriately. You need to maintain tension. Don't give too much, don't take too much. It is a little game.

- Close. Complete a wonderful story. If you don't close, you would have wasted an effort. I always see it as a movie with a bad ending. I will always remember that. A movie with a good ending makes you walk away with the warms of that experience. Makes you want to experience more. It makes you imagine, fantasise. You need to create the afterglow effect

Man, there is so many ideas here. Am I missing anything??

Fundamentals of attraction


In the beginning, it is important to assume attraction. Gauging a girl's attraction level is a waste of time because all you have in the beginning is your intuition. From experience, I am certain that it is ALWAYS safe to assume attraction. Gauging is only good for management or maintenance purposes because in the long run, you have more information to make rational judgements. What is more relevant in the beginning is your attitude and attraction towards her.

But what is important is that you MUST do your part to justify attraction assumption. You MUST be the price, you must know what you have to offer and why do you deserve that attraction. You cannot make excuse or unreasonable reasons for this. It must be genuine, something you truely believe in. (This is partly related to jerks and assholes' ability to pick up women - they think they are the best thing that happened to a girl) Only by knowing what you've got to offer that it make sense to assume attraction. Using this mindset, you are calm, you are confident, you are relaxed, you are being yourself - All the attractive traits.

The dynamics goes like this. Now, you've set up the scene that she is attracted to you, you are giving her a chance to sarge you. (Most people will be interested, if not attracted to others, especially those who they've just met. Another factor is defensiveness, which I will discuss later). You will have to push her sarging as early as possible, the more she works, the more she tries, the more she is going to be attracted to you. This is simply a universal law. It is self fullfilling because the more they work, the more they are going to be attracted to you and the more they are attracted to you, the more they are going to work on you. (always find the self fullfilling phenomenons). This is absolutly important. One of those critical factors that MUST happen. The key to succeed in this is to be highly receptive - everything she do or say is her expressing herself to you. Understand what they are saying to you in the context of her revealing herself to you and interpret it as a way to sarge you. Then, escalate - you slowly allow yourself to be sarged by her, each time she does something right, you are more attracted. By doing this, your attraction is the reward for her work, for her to be genuine, for her to supplicate to you.

The nature of your attraction must be genuine, and it must NOT be superficial. This can happens very quickly and early on in the interaction (within the first few seconds of seeing her) - you need to be able to "see" a person for who they really are instantly. This means that you need to build the ability to sense the vibe and energy of a person, you need to be able to pay attention to the details, her gestures, the way she carry herself etc. You need to have a strong, accuriate intuition about the person, size them up immediately. Second, you have to be able to see them for who they really are, you need to be non judgemental and appreciate them for who they are. If any of your reward doesn't make sense, or it reward her talking fluff, you are heading down the wrong path.

New epiphany!


I don't know how to describe this concept. It is neither inner game nor technique. It is not a method, strategy, structure. It is purely an observation, so to speak. However, it is profoundly powerful.

One of the most powerful influence on a woman's attraction towards you is in itself, your attraction towards her! Now you are going to say "BUT ROSS~ I am always attracted to girls but that doesn't make them like me more!". Well, you are an idiot, and I was an idiot too. Sometimes, we've been exposed to so much bullshit that we have forgotten the basics.

Now, imagine this. If there are no photographers in the world, no media, no magazine, no books, no beauty salons, no trendy short skirts, no balances to measure your weight, no gyms and no such thing as exercise -- What kind of woman will you be attracted to?

Hmmmm... Interesting huh? Do you know what truely get you going? Do you know what kind of girl you are attracted to on a physical, spiritual and emotional level? What does it mean to us to be spiritually and emotionally attracted to other people?

I am beginning to understand some of these ideas. What is it like to be ourselves, to find ourselves again. What is it like to be able to really see someone for who they truely are, inside. Now most people will not be compatible to you, but if you have the ability to see that, recognise that, appreciated that, you will be able to be truely attracted to her.

By truely attracted to someone else, you magnitise yourself, everything you do and say will be overwhelmingly attractive. This is the ultimate form of charm, to appeal to other's vanity, self esteem. We are all human beings, we like to be attractive. But we are afraid of psychos, fraudulents, we protect ourselves from them. By being genuinely and openly attracted to someone, you are acting subliminally to show that you are safe to be with, that you can really love them for who they are. This is powerfully attractive.

In contrast, if you only see them for their shell and not their true self. It is not safe for them to be themselves, if you have agenda, it is not safe, you want something from her... If you like her because she fit in some stereotypical attractive girls, she will know it and you will be untrustworthy, you are a lesser being because you are confused as to why you are attracted to her. She will never reveal herself to you, she will grow distant. If you are protective and play safe, it shows that you have something to hide.... etc etc. I am sure you know what i mean.

The oneitis experience


This one is strange, and a first time experience. Lucky this chick does not live here, so I am safe from any further oneitis. Phew...

In the past, I have had experiences where an ugly friend will look better after you know him/her better because they are pretty cool people. Then, I've had girls whom I went out and they increasingly look mesmerizingly beautiful, and then after you broke up, you starts to pick up on the ugly parts about her. I think my encounter with this girl is similar. Yet different...

The difference is that I simply don't see her as her appearance! I mean, I know what she looks like physically - if I have to describe each feature, measurements, description, shes a 7. However, even before talking to her, she looks like another person! I am not saying I see a different face, what I am saying is, her personality is out of her physical being, that her presence, her "spiritual" being is way WAY more than her physical being or something like that. It is hard to describe. After interacting to her, I'd say she is a 9.5.

Perhaps this is something we can create as well? That we can be way more powerfully attractive than we are physically. That our presence, our spirit is what they can see in us and hence - uncontrollably attracted to us? Perhaps.

Perhaps the ability to really see people for who they are, that inner beauty that is so powerful that it dominates the physical appearance - is a way more power and pure way to experience attraction? Perhaps if we live by that standard. Perhaps if we convey ourselves and see others that way, we would have trenscend into a level of higher consciousness (and awareness) in the ways of a PUA?

This reminded me of a quote from Don Juan Demarco:
    Don Juan: "By seeing beyond what is visible to the eye. Now there are those, of course, who do not share my perceptions, it is true. When I say that all my woman are dazzling beauties, they object. The nose of this one is too large; the hips of another, they are too wide; perhaps the breasts of a third, they are too small. But I see these women for how they truly are... glorious, radiant, spectacular, and perfect... because I am not limited by my eyesight. Women react to me in the way they do, Don Octavio, because they sense that I search out the beauty that lies within until it overwhelms everything else. And then they cannot avoid their desire, to release that beauty and envelope me in it. So, to answer your question, I see as clear as day that this great edifice in which we find ourselves is your villa. It is your home and as for you, Don Octavio DeFlores, you are a great lover like myself, even though you may have lost your way and your accent. Shall I continue?"
Every budding PUA should watch this movie, it is so great!

Sunday, July 23, 2006

1st and 2nd meeting


In the first meeting, there is no expectation, people are more tolerant of fluff, you won't be running out of materials. These are all advantages that the 2nd meeting doesn't have. If you have successfully attracted her into a second meeting, there is an expectation of you that is difficult to match. You've spent some of your materials so you are more likely going to run out and get into awkwardness.

One of the strategy I use is to make quick connection with someone, just a friendly hi, vibe a bit, ask a few question and if it doesn't go so well, eject! This is essentially reverting back to the beginning - you avoid establishing an impression, yet create a bit of mystery and an open opportunity next time. Sometimes, people are just not in the right mood on that particular day and there is nothing you can do about it. And you shouldn't judge them (or yourself) badly. What happens is that next time you meet them again, they might not be so cold and standoffish. It will be an easy opener for you next time and alternatively, they might recognise you and will come and open you.

This happened to me many many times. It works. Use this strategy. It creates a safety net for you to fall back onto and provide opportunities to work on them more!

Field report: My first kiss close.


Howdy, fellow PUA's. I am here to report my first successful kiss close.

It was hilarious, I was being sarged by her. In the PUA's arsenal, there is a "camera routine" to get girls to kiss you. I don't know the history of it but it was mentioned in Neil Strauss's The Game a couple of times. What happened was, a girl performed the camera routine on me and kiss closed me. Holy shit!

First, the good:
- I had a fun, youthful, cute vibe.
- Tested body language - being relaxed really is good, force yourself to be relaxed and spread out. Bad body language will cause you to have a bad mindframe.
- Tested the "best friends test" routine and it worked again. It got girl laughing and everyone in a fun mood!
- Escalation by rewarding HER high points works, but effects is subtle.
- I got her to be curious about me, EVing (Eliciting value) me.
- Was able to monoplise most of her attention.
- Social proof was maxing out
- Got every topic into emotional mode, at least, intellectually emotional.
- Very few questions from me
- Getting her to relate by revealing myself
- Talked about love and sex
- First time I escalate to Heavy Kino!
- I maintained my power of letting go

The bad:
- Being self conscious, awkward silences happened, I felt awkward too, didn't get over it. Lucky she contributed to half of the conversation
- Not expressive enough. Need pre-compiled materials ready to be used.
- When a girl EVed (eliciting value) me, I failed to jump through the hoop. It could be cute but its chumpish! I lost attention a couple of times.
- Payed too much attention on outcome, I was not in the moment, cared too much about trying to score her, worrying about loosing her attention, worry about other guys chatting her up
- Shes in conscious mode most of the time. couldn't hook her into the island for long (parties are distracting!)
- I followed her around. Sux
- Did a few goofy things
- Not enough kino
- Lost her attention to someone else a couple of times.
- 1st day behaviour/dynamics totally inexperienced
- I did not know how to make the most out of opportunities

Da FUGLY!
- I've got oneitis man!
- Compulsive imagination about spending the rest of my life with her... :'(
- Afraid of getting into relationship frame
- Afraid of sexual frame
- I was tanked!
- AFC behaviour! - Telling her shes a cool chick, TWICE!
- Too much context dependency
- Not bold enough to go into full on sarging mode
- I am insecure about sex

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Reture of the AFC - Oneitis


At the moment, many ideas are coming together intellectually. However, I am still behaving like an AFC. I've been able to cope with it by being safe - that is, to avoid sexual tension, just be friendly. However, I have to deal with it right now. I've never gone into this stage before.

This chick totally got me man! This french chick that I met last week. Let me elaborate:

I was interested in her the moment I saw her, but I did my thing where I was finding her flaws to kill attraction. It worked and I moved on. My interest level was pretty high because I actually walked up and pawned the guy next to her. It was done so subconsciously that not much thought was put into it, I "find myself doing all the right things" as if somebody took over. For some reason, I did all the right thing as if a personality took over me. It is hard to describe, I have flashes of every aspect of all the things I should do, they were just flashes of focused areas such as, body language, listening, tonality etc. There was no reall thought put into it, but at the same time, I am aware of everything. Weird.

The good thing about it was, I was spontaneous, I was real, I was in the moment. The bad thing about it was, pretty much all I have control of is - nothing. Yup, nothing. Perhaps this is the mysterious interaction that I was looking for? It is not fun if I am totally in control, and it sucks if I am absolutely out of control. The interaction was good as is, I was happy that I had that interaction and I ended it good. As if, thats the way its always supposed to be, in my mind.

When I # closed, her, I was honest in the way that it was a shame to leave and it would be great to be able to talk to her more. But I was dishonest about even hoping for more because my goal WAS simply a close. I just wanted a good "ending" to the story. Without me knowing it, a good ending actually creates a really good "afterglow" effect"!

What happened was, at least to me, I thought about her, it was a really warm feeling from the heart. Intellectually, I let her go, I was never going to follow her up, but I did think about her over the week. I was telling everyone how cool a chick she was. Think it is my natural suppression system for me to stay composed (and not loosing my cool). Then, at the end of the week, it feels bad. I begin to try to convince myself that I had nothing. I started telling myself "stop humouring yourself, you've had nothing there. She was just being polite and the number close was to get rid of you." "You've screwed it, you pushed the phone number, never do it again, she was not into you, go back to step one..."

Just as I was thinking that, she called me. And you know whats weird? Her calling me was like the time when escasty first hit me - All my inhibition was gone, all my suppression was gone, the warm feeling from the solar plexus, the butterflys, the nervousness. Everything. I was in AFC land. I lost my cool.

First, I was not wrong about my instinct. Trust your instinct guys, you should not let your brain play tricks on you, coz it always trys. Your mind will try to convince you that others wont like you. ASSUME ATTRACTION AT ALL TIMES! Even when they tell you to fuck off! There is no reason, no evidence to support whether she will like you or not. It is a matter of choosing to make the evidences to support her liking you, or her hating you. It can support both ways, WHY CHOOSE THE NEGATIVE ONE? Never depend on evidence to convince you whether shes into you or not - ASSUME ATTRACTION!

Second, the suppression of attraction... ... ... ... ... YES! IT BUILDS TENSION! The more you suppress, the more subconscious (and hence uncontrollable) you get. Its like trying to not look at a person in a public place - the more you don't want to look, the more you FIND YOURSELF looking!!! This seems to be congruent with Juggler's method where he talked about the idea of "You cannot build tension if there is no barrier". If you are not sure if you can get the person, you will be intrigued. If you are intrigued, you start imagination. Then, you suppress your imagination and it goes into the subconscious and it makes you imagine more. This build more and more tension - you cycle this until you just can't stand it, and you burst. You get oneitis. You return to AFC.

I think I am feeling the effects of "push-pull". Each time we interacted, it was like two steps forward - First, I called her, It was ok, my interest level was neutral, then I walk away and I was happy - interest level rised. Then, I txted her, and my interest level rised. Then, She called me and BOOM! Strategic building of tension and releasing it - Never let the line go slack!

At the moment, I am feeling the full dosage of oneitis. I am feeling it in my gut, my mind goes blank (I am definitely in an altered state of mind). I spent 5 minutes writing a god damn sms. I was wondering what to wear, I was thinking about whether she likes me or not. I was cutting her short in phone conversations in fear of exposing my AFC behaviour. I am interpreting everything she said... I can't stop thinking about it and it is getting worse. I am imaginating all kinds of things about her (but not kicking her in the "you know where").

Tonight, I am meeting her. It will be interesting to see what happens there.

Friday, July 21, 2006

I am overwhelmed with joy!


Last Friday, I number closed two girls. Today, I found out that BOTH CALLED ME and TXTED ME!!!!

Not only were they my best sarged in ages, it is the first time the number close was meaningful! This is dramatically different from before where I can get numbers and I can push a date, but they dont care about the dates. Now, since the ball is totally in their court, there is no question about interest!!!!!!!!!

Take that, non-believers! STICK IT TO THE MAN!~ yeah! WOO HOO~

Ok, I am calming down now. It is important to work out why it worked.

During our interactions last time I had no agenda - surely I had interest, I am only a man and there is no such thing as being "absolutly devoid of" intent, but my interests were channeled totally into the interaction, that boost my desire to relate, my body language to communicate, my ability to listen and demonstrate my values - I was all in the moment. I did not care about the outcome. In fact, the reason why I close was because I felt like closnig make sense, its like a good ending to a story. (refer to my earlier blog about the necessity of closing).

The fact that I did this actually made it work. It is a primer for attraction. My proposed idea worked. I walked away, I didn't care whether they will call or not, in fact, I expect them not to call and I already moved on. Thats when they will call.

It sounds so far out. well, it did sounded far out for me too. But success is right in front of me and, tell you what? I wasn't lucky, it was hundreds of dollars in pick up materials and months of experience.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

New Goal


Ignoring outcome, perform the most deadly PUA techniques onto multiple targets. I was being attentive because I don't want to end up in the friendzone or having to worry about having to getting rid of them. FUCK THAT! Be in the friendzone! Go hardcore, be shameless. Do everything right. Escalate. The point is to get to the heavy kino level and then, LJBF them.

If you can do that, that means all you have to do is to switch sexual and the next step is easy. This part of the game must be perfected!!!!

An avalanche of insights


Since last week, my mind have been going nuts on thoughts. The subconscious have been working like mad and I don't know what it is, it is very frustrating. I feel like something is coming but I just dont know what it is. All of a sudden, it clicked today. It all clicked. All the work from the last few months all of a sudden clicked.

This is so sweet. I can't wait to go out and try these ideas out. It is hard for me to process these ideas, it is difficult for me to coceptualise them and write them down. Still it is probably very raw and impossible to digest...

Nature of Values


It is very helpful to use models to describe a system. Sigmond Freud's structural and topographical model of the mind [wikipedia] is one of the most widely used in the community.

As a baby PUA, I have adopted a habit of turning everything against me around to my advantage. And "values" are no exception. At first, I dislike values, because time and time again, girls just don't follow values but claims that they have. I hated this, I felt like I have been lied to, I felt that girls are fickled. I've gone through the process of beng in denial, indignent and have now surrended to it - I embrase it and am determined to make good use of it.

Understanding is key - when looking at Freud's model, you can easy see that "values" can easily fit into the Superego part of the mind. According to the Wikipedia article:
    "The super-ego is a symbolic internalization of the father figure and cultural regulations. The super-ego tends to stand in opposition to the desires of the id because of their conflicting objectives, and is aggressive towards the ego."

    and

    "Women, who are considered to be already castrated, do not identify with the father, and therefore form a weak super-ego, apparently leaving them susceptible to immorality and sexual identity complications."
Though sexist, I don't think Freud is stupid to make this assumption - As PUA's we can identify that this idea is not without merit, many girls WILL THROW THEIR VALUES AWAY READILY. Morals, ethics is no match for emotions and desires in most, if not all of the women we've encountered. What this means is that if we choose to focus our control of a woman on her superego, you will alwasy be suceptable to the sabotage from her id.

To go for the id, seducers appeal to the emotion, they use hypnotic techniques. I argue that values are the 2nd most powerful tool to use when seducing a girl because:

- first, it span the conscious, subconscious and pre-conscious, and so it is a critical factor to bridge her subconscious attraction into the consciousness;

- second, it is the NATURE of the superego that you are trying to concour. If you go for the id, the superego will still play up, better off doing them both;

- third, it can be a safe place for the probing part of the interaction in order to test the waters.

Notice how most part of the superego is subconscious and thus hidden from your target. This means that what they are aware of consciously is only a tiny fraction of it. You cannot rely on what she tells you. A much more reliable way of appealing to her value is to define her values using YOUR OWN values which you've prepared earlier (your months of self discovery). Use SS/NLP to command those values into her subconscious, she will imagine and accept it and taken in as if its her own thoughts. All of a sudden, she has YOUR values.

Remember how in SS, Ross talked about one of the four doorways to her heart is to reach her core identity? Well, being able to recognise her conscious values and being able to define her values for her subconsciously, you've reached that doorway. Her imagination, emotional, body sensations is appealing to her id. Notice that your words, your context is just the tip of the iceberg - You will have to spend WAY MORE time/effort in subconscious areas than the conscious ego (which is easily dealt with using reflective listening and keeping to the details).

Hint: I know that asian/indian girls can be very heavily superego-centric. A lot of players appeal to values and it works - thats how I got my first girlfriends!

Quality quote


From Bristo Lair:
    "You might say, "But...but...I'm so nice! I'm a nice guy!" Guess what? That's like a fat chick saying, "But I'm so smart!" As if those things have anything in the world to do with sexual attraction!"
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Oh oh, and you all should read everything HERE.

Ideas all coming together


I have been running around and around in circles, testing this and testing that. And without knowing it, I have reached a point where I've undstood part of the story.

It can be summarised in four words: Assume attraction, assume rapport. Only by assuming those two things that you can comfortably execute attraction and rapport on your part, and only by demonstrating that you are attracted and have rapport that the others will mirror. Hence a self fullfilling phenomenon. Hell it is as simple as that.

Now you are going to say, well there will be times when some bitch will still reject you despite you doing that. I think thats bullshit, you've probably not fully grasp the idea or that she is a bitch anyway. Who cares about bitches, you want quality woman -- This is why Razorjack's method of knowing your values is very important. You have to act in ways that self-select out all the crap. In fact, Razorjack's method assumes attraction and rapport as well. This is completely congruent with SS, MM, Juggler and DYD. COMPLETELY. I think I've found the first magic gold coin.

This is very important because this is the dynamics of the first few moments, its all vibes, energies. This is what creates the initial impression of you. This is the determining period for you to be slotted into that particular chamber of hers. This is talking attraction baby - it all happens here, and it is the most powerful there. I think I have identified the complete first two steps of a sarge - pre-approach and initial approach - your door into that special place.

The thing that I am facing with now are things like EV (eliciting values), qualifying and disqualifying. From pure experience, this is a major challenge in the part of a sarges. This is obviously quite different from the two parts I mentioned earlier. I think in the first two parts, you project yourself and generate attraction and rapport, but here, in the other parts, you are beginnig to qualify HER and escalate her.

Note: Remember, I phrase this all in the form of "me doing something to the chicks". But in practice, it all have to be mutual, she has to feel like shes also worked, shes also sarging. Everything have to happen together, like Ki-ken-tai in kendo!

Part of Razorjack's posts


I have been checking out Razorjack's method to update on my understand, and I've found this post
    "Ever since I found mASF and started to seriously get into the game, I’ve had a tough time feeling any sort of connection with any chick, no matter how HOT she was. I would go out to PU and pull chicks weekend after weekend and feel absolutely NOTHING for them. Last year was a record breaking year for me. I fucked more chicks in that one year then all the other years put together. For those of you who are statistic freaks, it was 40+ chicks. I don’t remember the exact number cuz I never really kept count. Fuck, I don’t even remember half of their names!

    But the whole time I felt NOTHING for these chicks, a lot of them wanted relationships and would try to snag me into an LTR, but I would just get bored or they’d turn out to be LSE/psychos and I’d leave them.

    After doing the find ‘em, fuck ‘em and forget ‘em thing I was worn out. Let me tell you boys, that shit does wear you down. I wanted to find a nice LTR/mLTR and just enjoy my life a little more. But seriously I just couldn’t connect with chicks. They would be attracted to me and connect with me, but I felt nothing for them. I was starting to accept that maybe this is the way things will always be from now on.

    But then it finally happened! I always used to meet chicks in the fuck venue. We’d get together and have sex, that’s it. So I decided to change things a bit.

    Then I met this one chick and started doing things with her. We had a great time together and connected on so many levels. It was awesome! For the first time since my LTR of 10 yrs ended, I felt something for a chick.

    Don’t worry boys, Razorjack hasn’t developed one-itis! :)

    The important thing was to figure out HOW I connected with her. For me it was all about getting away from the club scene, and seeing these chicks in a different light, in a different setting, in a different environment and getting to know them for who they are and ACCEPTING that, while doing fun things together.

    I was so happy that I FINALLY was able to do this and it felt great! And the best part?

    The best part is knowing that I can recreate this with any chick (as long as they are not LSE psychos!) because it is NOT the chick that makes me feel this way, but ME MAKING MYSELF FEEL THIS WAY! HA! What an epiphany! It’s like waking up from a coma! :)

    The medium here is connecting with chicks. Thinking beyond connecting with chicks and more about myself and my behavior, was exactly what I needed to do in order to achieve what I wanted.

    So after reading this rant of mine, what did ya boys learn?

    Well I’ll tell ya then! The lesson here is:

    1. First figure out what your goals are, what you want to achieve, where you want to go, etc.

    2. Get to know yourself, how you behave, how you do things, how you motivate yourself, how you learn, etc.

    3. Once you understand where you want to go and understand how and why you do the things you do, then change that behavior so you can get what you want!

    Solving the problems that I described above wasn’t about new routines, openers, qualifiers, affirmations, etc. It wasn’t even about PU!

    It’s beyond the medium, beyond PU!

    It was about me learning how I behave and why that was preventing me from getting what I wanted. Then I change that behavior and guess what?

    My PU problems are solved without even thinking about PU!

    So if you guys are having problems with PU, THINK BEYOND THE MEDIUM!

    -Razorjack"
I think this is great stuff. I totally agree to that.

I know my values


I remember I posted an article twice, an article that refers to the RazorJack method.

One of the things with the RazorJack method is that you need to know what you can offer to a girl. Being a salesperson that you are selling yourself as a product. You need to know what your product (yourself) can do for your customers (Hot babes). Since the last time, I have expanded the knowledge of my offerings and here they are:

I am a quality guy who knows how to respect a woman
I am a quality guy who knows how to be loyal to a woman (fidelity != loyalty)
I am a quality guy who really knows how to appreciate a woman
I am a quality guy who can give great organims and bodily sensations
I am a quality guy who have a strong sense of values, morals and justice
I am a quality guy who is passionate
I am a quality guy who is funny
I am a quality guy who understand what pleasures mean
I am a quality guy who can lead women into a wonderful lifestyle if she doesn't know how
I am a quality guy who have social value, experience, capability
I am a quality guy who is capable and adaptable in a large variety of environments
I am a quality guy who understands and treasure the more important things in life
I am a quality guy who is pretty good looking and is very sexy
I am a quality guy who is responsible and calming
I am a quality guy who has experienced life and know how to deal with many things
I am a quality guy who does not require external things to make me feel happy, my happiness comes from within
I am a quality guy who have good genes and good memes
I am a quality guy who is also an excellent provider
I am a quality guy who have survived many tough situations in life
I am a quality guy who knows how to create attraction
I am a quality guy who knows how to make a girl feel good
I am a quality guy who have few problems, easy to maintain
I am a quality guy who is genuine, and am not afraid of being himself
I am a quality guy who know what he wants and will get what he wants
I am a quality guy who know how to bring the best out of people
I am a quality guy who can see you for who you really are
I am a quality guy who can live the moment and not being weight down by the past or the future
I am a quality guy who can make the most out of the simplest things
I am a quality guy who is knowledgeable
I am a quality guy who has good taste
I am a quality guy who is openminded
I am a quality guy who is cultured
I am a quality guy who is exciting, spontaneous
I am a quality guy who knows who I am, accepts who I am and is comfortable in my own skin
I am a quality guy who can provide excellent sexual adventure with no strings attached
I am a quality guy who is a lover AND a fighter
I am a quality guy who is both an artist AND a scientist
I am a quality guy who is in touch with is spirituality

Enough? Probably. Why wouldn't anyone want this? I'd want some myself! The list essentially answer quesition 1 - 10 of the list in the Razorjack method. Now that I know what my values are, all I have to do is package them in an attractive form, use it as my reality to define it for other people. SWEET! (Its much better than other people's bullshit reality)

Quality woman


This is a hypothesis for what quality woman look for in men:

Quality woman have choice. They do not want chumps, they do not want jerks. They have the luxury to be picky and not settle for 2nd best. From experience, I can see the quality women tend to be attracted to more "value based" or "cerebral: type of guys, especially those who have seen it all.

At first sight, geeks fit this category. Geeks are generally more intellectual, they are more passionate and a larger proportion of them care less about being selfish. Unfortunately, geeks are no men - they are boys. They are little whiny boys with big and better toys that cost thousands. As much as they dont have problems being too vain and stupid, they are still insecure and are totally incapable socially. Now this is unattractive.

Sometimes, we think as geeks: "We have all the good stuff, why doesn't the HB's like me?" "What's with that jerk? What has he got?". But we never think "We are cry babies, we are socially less capable, we are physically weaker, we have latent insecurities, we are inexperienced, we think too much, we are less spontaneous and we are selfish in other ways, like emotionally."

It is not that girls don't like our good points, they do. I can personally testify to that. What stuffs it up is when we show an equal or even greater dosage of unpleasentness. This makes girls harder to like us. Think about it yourself, if you were to choose, that both sides have their strength and weaknesses, just that they are different, which will you choose? Its obvious isn't it.

So, don't forget your strength as a geek, use them. Package them in a way that conveys how good you are. Packaging is part of hte product these days. The "open box experience" can make a whole world of difference to your target. If you think this way, you can understand a whole lot more about attraction and where girls are coming from.

Advantage of being an introvert


It is easy to dwell on the down side of being an introvert. People generally do not like introverts for many reasons. They are more self absorbed and is no as generous in their emotions/time, they seem more logical than emotional, they are distant, they seem to have another world in them, they are socially less experienced, etc etc.

I do not blame that society promotes extraverts over introverts, because it simply make more sense, if not only superficially. I personally am an introvert, from a young age, I would treasure the pleasentness of being quiet over crowds of people. Quickly, I found that reading books, listening to stories and indulging in my imagination to be enjoyable past times.

As I grew older, the distance between the "external world" and the "internal world" also grew. I began to take adventure into the deeper parts of my mind - It was wonderful, you discover all kinds of things about yourself, the world and occationally, if I meet someone who can share that part of their world with me, it is an adventure into another dimension or parallel universe. That would be all I cared for - partly because of financial difficulties, lack of time, and partly because of the value I put into thoughts. Very quickly, my way of relating to people became deep. I do not settle for anything less than a DNM (Deep and Meaningful). I wasn't able to be light hearted, I was to heavy and I wondered why people didn't like that.

For years after years, I resented that. Why was I not born an extravert. All the benefits of it, though it seem fleeting and not genuine, people seems happy and those who are extraverted go through live much easier, faster, and would tell you that you should live a life like that too. For the longest time, I wish I can be like them.

Eventually, due to circumstances, this thing call responsibility kicks in and it didn't take long to realise that holding onto the introverted nature can do lots of harm and that the ways of an extravert must be adopted. I was never social. It took me 5 painful years to adapt to that way of life and I was barely competent. I've been through it all, been called names, gotten into fights, being ditched by girls, ostracised, fired, you name it. It was not pleasent. It was not natural. If it seems natural now, that is because I've learnt how to make it natural. It is such a protective shell around me that people can no longer see the "real" me. But what is real anyway? Fearing disappointment, I couldn't even be bothered trying to relate with the introvert within. This became problematic as you can never suppress yourself. It comes out in various insecurities when interacting with people, especially with love ones, and soon, it spirals down very quickly.

Fortunately, it was the awful tasting medicine that I needed. I could have remained a socially inept, inexperienced geek. I could have sold my soul to the opposite side and be complacent with not being yourself. Or I could have been so stubborn minded that I could not see the benefits and problems attached of both sides of the spectrum. Having tasted enough of that shight, I snapped out of it. I began to be myself and be surrounded with people like myself.

Today, I can see the benefits of being a natural introverty trying to be an extravert. You get the best of both worlds. Because being social is not natural to us, we have learnt ways of creating the effect of it at will, by experience, skills and knowledge. To a certain degree, I believe that it is easier for introverts to understand extraverts. This is because we all know the benefits of being an extravert but introverts are introverts BY CHOICE! We choose being an introvert because it is the lesser of the two evils. At least for me, I know facade of social dynamics, the fraility of emotions and the dramatisation of petty reactions. We chose to live in a more sane world. As for extraverts, they cannot be by themselves because solitude gives them time to submerge themselves in their own insecurities, their problems. It is hard to deal with, and even introverts need to learn how to deal with that over time.

Recently, I noticed the increasing popularity of "geeks", which are generally introverts. I like it, young people respect thoughts more than emotions. I like the whole idea of the generation Y. People can relate with each other in a more intellectual and genuine level. People treasure passion, dreams ideals and excellence over "survival" and the mundane. I believe that the future is built for us. I believe that it was damn lucky that we are introverts and intellectuals. I mean, look at us, we intellectualise being and extraverts and use their power to our advantage! STICK IT TO THE MAN~