The Journey of a couple of budding Pick Up Artists

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Follow up on previous post

I have been thinking about this for ages. How can you construct everything you say to be the most effective, all the time?

One of the problems is "close ended questions". I hate it, one word answers. I want it so that there would be NO CHANCE a girl can pull that off when I am there! In fact, I want to rid myself of close ended questions at will.

Then, the next problem will be acting too pushy. In the fluff, you'd occationally encounter someone feeling like you are interrogating them. To remove this too:

So, a routine is required, I need to be on autopilot. I need to learn now to use Assumptive Questioning/statements. I think you should only used questioning as an IOI (showing you are interested) and that you have no other option. Or that it make sense.

Perhaps direct statements are too factual and make to much assumptions (as the name suggests). But you are only trying to disguise it by using a question. How about really thinking it as a question and be playful/funny about it with a statement? A bit of a tease? A question is a sign of being submissive, be confident, be opinionated, you respect other's opinions, so should others, there is nothing wrong with being opinionated!

So, my resolution is to make my standard, normal conversation with Assumptive statements. Feel Felt Found, my friend said. Be a good listener and reflect what they say correctly. No questions, unless IOI or yes laddar.

Great Post: From SoSauve

Assumptive Questioning
by Pimpologist

When talking to women, it's a given that asking a majority of open ended questions will inevitably cause them to speak a great deal more than if you were to ask a majority of closed ended questions.
The more opportunities they get to speak, the easier it becomes for them to express themselves, both verbally by speaking more and physically by performing kino (physical contact).
For those who are unfamiliar with the terms "open-ended" and "closed-ended" questions, here is a quick run down.

Question that cannot be answered with either "yes" or "no"
Usual words used to start out the question are: who, what, where, when, how, why, etc.

Question that can only be answered with either "yes" or "no"
Usual words used to start out the question are: do, can, did, are, have, etc.

Although open-ended questions usually generate more of a response, it does not always create the desired effect of making them willingly talk more about the subject without an almost equal amount of follow-up questioning on your part.
There are times when you ask an open-ended question and you receive a one-word answer, which is of no more help than asking a one-word answer closed-ended question.
For example, say you asked her what type of music she likes to listen to and she simply answers with, "R&B". This is equivalent to a closed-ended question asking her if she liked R&B. However, if it were used in conjunction with open-ended questions, it would be an effective combo.

Both types of questions have their advantages, so employing a mixture of open-ended and closed-ended questions in your conversations is the best method. Sometimes it's best to start out with a closed-ended question in order to lead you into an open-ended one. Here's an example...
You: Do you like to ski? - Closed ended
Her: Yes
You: When's the last time you went skiing? - Open ended
Her: Last winter. (She also might decide to throw in a few more pieces of information for you to follow up on like where she went, how long she stayed, how often she goes, etc.)

Now is a good opportunity for you to experience and/or preference relate and follow-up with either an open or closed-ended question, depending on the direction you want to lead the conversation. Keeping control of the conversation should always be your number one priority.
When women answer 'no' to "Do you like" questions, one of the best open-ended questions to follow-up with is "Why not?" They'll usually tell you why but if they answer with "I don't know", a good response is something along the lines of, "You should try it sometime".
As you can see, closed-ended questions are not so bad after all. In some cases, they prove to be very useful. In the above case, the closed-ended question was used to smoothly bring up the topic of skiing.
Once rapport on a subject starts to develop, closed-ended questions can be used as "filler" questions, or as a ways to change the subject. For example if you wanted to change the subject and start asking about her friends, one way you can do it is by asking, "Did your friends go with you too?" (Closed-ended)

Now that you know the importance and some of the advantages of both open and closed-ended questions, you will be able to appreciate the fact that there is a way to "ask" a question that is both open and closed ended without actually "asking". This is accomplished through the use of Assumptive Questioning.
Assumptive questioning is asking questions in the form of statements that imply a variety of questions, both open and closed ended, that not only give you openings to compliment and neg-hit but also give women the chance to talk about what they feel comfortable about.
The advantages of letting her decide how she wants to answer your assumptive question is that you're able to find out what she thinks is important to her, what types of questions she prefers answering, what she likes to talk about, and an overall understanding of her personality traits and how she thinks without having to actually "ask" her.
Here are a couple examples of assumptive questioning to get you familiar with the fundamentals of the tactic. These particular examples purposely lead into talking about her body and looks and give you clear opportunities to compliment or neg-hit when she's most vulnerable.
Ex. 1)
You: You must like to exercise a lot.
Implied Questions:
Do you exercise? Do you like to exercise?
How often do you exercise?
What do you do to keep in shape?
Why do you look so good?

Ex. 2)
You: I bet you like going to the beach.
Implied Questions:
Do you ever go to the beach?
Do you like going to the beach?
How do you spend your free time?
Where do you like going?

Hope this helps!

Follow up on previous post

I think this is so true, there are givers and takers. I learnt this when I was sarging Carly. One of my earlier subjects. At that time I was learning DYD and she was a giver. GOSH! Did I fucked up! I mean, it worked to a certain degree but it crashed a burnt at the same time. IT IS TRUE that she complained a lot, and did not talked about how others suplicated to her at all. Iron horse IS INSIGHTFUL!

Now, at that time, I ditched DYD totally thinking it was a piece of shit and started just being my normal AFC self. Not exactly because I didn't care about her anymore; so I was just being nicely relaxed and accepted every compliment, approval seeking from her (no negs, I consider C&F a neg/push). Man did she turned around!

Also, looking from past experiences, some girls thrive to give, and if you are also a giver, it creates confusion and its no good. So, I think the whole Push vs Pull idea is tightly linked to the Giver vs Taker idea. This understanding should give you a very solid and adaptable foundation to choose your approach with women.

Great Post: From Seduction Lair, April, 2004...

Hello Fellow DJ's, this is your brother-in-arms, Ironhorse. Today I want to get you hip to part of my installment "Use The Correct Tool For the Job" series.

Give to the Giver and Take from the Taker.

This is a strange concept that sounds almost as if it makes no sense. Let's focus on the almost part.

I have learned in my journey of intermediate/near advanced Don Juanism that there are two basic types of women, and most of the times that I struck out I mistook one for the other, not even knowing about the difference.

Just like all people, there are givers and takers. Most of the women that we are learning techniques for are the takers. All of the advice for dealing with this type of woman can be summed up into four words -- "Take from the Taker".

If she has a taker personality she is used to men giving and giving to her. But more than likely, she is bored out of her mind hoping that a man would put a stop to it. These types of women are generally attractive, popular, or have something unique about them that gets a lot of attention.

Being like this was probably fun for her in high school, but she does not know how to stop. These types of women respond well to the cocky/funny technique or to just being generally rude, busting their balls, and refusing to grant any request that she asks for with a smile. (If you don't smile, she will think you are an @ss and that would be game over. If you are smiling she will think that you are a helluva man.)

If you listen closely, when you first meet a woman and are getting to know her, she will subconsciously tell you what type of woman she is. If you know what to listen for you can fill her out like a job application.

Look for stories where she is bragging about how much guy A has done for her, where she has been because of guy B, how she had guy C's luxury car for a whole month, or how guy D used to make himself look like a jackass for her amusement. She is giving you signals that say... "Pay attention loser, this is what you have to do for me, or you will never have a chance with me!"

An AFC (Average Frustrated Chump) would jump in line with the subliminal messages to get close to this hot (or even average) chick and unconsciously start doing those things, and get tossed into the trash a few weeks later.

Bust her balls, treat her like that girl who sat behind you in 4th period English with the mega braces and the permanent Ben-gay smell.

Next, there is the Giver. More suited for the AFC of budding Juan. The Giver is a woman who will loan you $200 a week for eternity. She will pick you up for work and does not complain if you decided to hang out with your buddies, and she drove all the way to get you and met only an empty parking lot.

This type of woman pays for prom, does your homework, supports deadbeat adult males and is the backbone of the commercial side of America. This type of woman is a gem, and so often we are trying to get our skills together to mack hard to get chicks, and she is quietly below the surface being ignored. That is a travesty.

This type of chick would make a great girlfriend or wife (and future mother to your kids) but you would permanently turn her off by busting her balls or being rude to her. She may never say so, but rest assured you wouldn't see any parts of it.

This Giver personality is excited by small tokens of appreciation. You could throw a Taker type chick a birthday party and spend $1,000 on decorations and food... and she complains the whole night because you forgot her Celine Dion CD at the house.

A Giver chick would forever remember that you thought about her enough to buy a $10 Baskin-Robbins ice cream cake for her birthday and sit with her at her desk during her lunch break and eat a few slices with her.

That is what I am talking about DJ's. Women are always complaining because they are getting mistaken for the other one. Giver women complain about getting treated like trash and being unappreciated. Taker type chicks usually complain a lot in general, but when it has to do with men, they usually complain about men who let them get their way all of the time, or men who won't let them get their way -- but that is why they love them. (Don't ask. I am just a messenger.)

Well DJ's, with this piece of information you can increase your success rate and make the dating scene a better place if you are treating the ladies accordingly. Have a great day fellas.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Inner game: partial solution to my problem

I was having a problem with escalation before. I thought about it heaps coz its been bothering me. I have sarged 5 times this week, unfortunately, 4 of them had boyfriends -- where are the hot single women?!

Anyway, I was talking to my friend about my experiences. I was describing to her about my technique in eye contact. I read it in Style's book about looking into someone's eyes during sex or something so I was paying particular attention to the eye. The thing is, I have been paying attention to it before already and this is what I find:

There is a time when your emotional connection is so incredible strong that when you look into someone's eyes -- you can fry their brains so that they cannot finish their sentences, your legs weaken. The truth is, there is mutual desire at that stage, but I think most people are unprepared for than, and they shock themselves out of that. They react badly -- I react badly...

My interpretation is that you'd peaked your attraction at that time and you need to position yourself right so that the natural next step is just... um... NATURAL! Let the desire run free so that one can JUMP the other without worry!

You have to provide an opportunities, environment and atmosphere

So, the next question will be: How do you time this? How do you know when to set yourself up for that opportunity?

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Inner Game: My problem!

Right now, I am stuck at the escalation step.

And I figured out my problem -- I AM IN MY HEAD TOO MUCH!


I worry about non-existing things
I am paranoid about my approach
I focused on results too much
I focus on the "possible, negative future" too much
I disqualify myself before others did
I am afraid of failure.


Field Report: Helen

Today, I had a date with Helen. My goal was to turn a girl on. Unfortunately, asian girls seems to be very "controlled". She is not a reserved girl, but a very careful girl. She was obviously into me, she was obviously turned on, but she denied opportunities, and I don't pursue it enough. I was too Juggler method. All I got was to feel her hand. However, I got her to talk lots, got her to be entertained, appreciated me deeply, I got her to give up lots of key words and information about her inner self. I got her to talk about attraction, qualitys she likes in guys, what she likes guys to do.

And somehow she thought I asked about it, and somehow she thought it was good interaction. The reality is: I was mostly shut up. I was really Juggler method...

So, I was exhausted with the conversation and then we left. She was really happy, said will contact me for food or something next time. Watch movies etc...

Well, I fucked up, what did I expect? I masturbated! I did not have sexual energy at all... Fuck me.

What I learnt is this though: The boy/girl pattern! --

"So, would you rather be a girl or a guy? If you get to choose for your next life, what would you rather be?"

"boy/girl, whatever"

"Wow, what is it about boy/girl that you like?"

*values, trance words etc*

*Direct conversation into boy-girl interaction* (you can easily switch this sexual)

*It is much better if you focus on whats good about being a girl. In fact, most benefit about being girls are rather intimate, very emotional or even sexual. It also gets her to search deep in their hearts, what they really desire as a GIRL!*

Also: If you dont lead, you will be led! So, LEAD!

Guilt: Susie

Today, I bumped into Susie again. She is still GORGEOUS! She is young and inexperience, but doesnt mean that she is stupid. Nor innocent. She is friendly none the less and I suggested "tell me more about stuff" (her work and her interests) and offered her my knowledge, which she showed some interest.

It was kinda a awkward situation coz we dont really know what to talk about. But she wasnt showing any signs of wanting to leave, nor did she showed any sign of dislike. In fact quite the opposite. I didn't let the paralysis of analysis get to me but I ejected prematurely. I suggested that its best if we email each other as that gives us time to think about things and then, I ejected.

I over analysed. I had experience where someone sound totally into me whenever we see each other but there is absolutely no effort on her part what so ever to get together. Susie is a smart girl like her too so she might be similar. I don't know. I don't think I will ever know unless I find out. So, STOP THIS NOW! Get out of my head!

Also, I feel really guilty. I don't know what to do with her, she is a nice girl with values so I don't want to fuck her up. This could be an excuse as I really dont know what she is like. I feel guilty and not knowing what I want from her, thats the truth. I will just apply the Juggler Method on her anyway. Who cares.

I think the Juggler method is quite good as you are really being a genuinely friendly person. I think it does not go against my ethics to apply the Juggler method when going out with friends because the Juggler methods have a large component on socialising and being friendly.

Go Juggler.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

To compliment or not to compliment?

I say compliment.

The main reason for not complimenting is to create a perceived higher value. i.e., you are not impressed by her. Another reason why you do not compliment is that you separate yourself from the AFC loosers who try to get attention with compliments.

There is nothing wrong with genuine compliment. Compliment in a purely appreciative, giving manner. It is even a goodway to test where she stands with you and what is it that you need to do next., e.g., "I know!" and turned their heads = Game on, your move!; Rejecting the compliment = I am not so comfortable with you yet; "yeah yeah/whatever" = I am flattered but you've got to do better than that!

Remember, any response from her is a commitment on her part to the interaction! To retreat from not making a compliment is a cowardy act! You HAVE higher value and you don't need to prove it!

Laughing at my jokes?

A couple of my jealous female friends told me on separate occations: "Shes laughing at your stupid jokes"

Why am I so blind... Not only am I an idiot to get depressed over such comments and start seeing the girls (who laughed with me) as being cheap... I completely didn't understand the dynamics and the behaviour.

I thought "she find me funny and friendly" and I go on getting a kick out of it, feeding my ego, and turn up the dial of my humour (which was shit-as).

I completely didn't see it as a SOI. The more fake their laugh is, the more she wants sex. SHE WANTS SOME DICK!

Oh.. fuck me... I am such a fool...

Oh, by the way: I completely took the comment "you are a confident guy" literally... oh god, what a fucking idiot. Thats really saying "Gosh you are sexy".

Hmmm... Have to thank Gunwitch for smacking me out of it.

The Gunwitch method!

WOW! I have heard about the gunwitch method. I have read the comments. I had my impression before I read it. But I just read it. AND IT IS AMAZING!

I think the Juggler + Gunwitch method combo will be so powerful! You make friends, and grab whoever vulnerable when the opportunities presents itself. It can also be integrated with Juggler's escalation as well! Fan-fucking-tastical!

I thought back at most of the moment I got laid, it is undeniable that it had a lot to do with my sexual state and how much I put out. The time I fucked up is the time my ego/superego took over. I thought it was wrong/guilty (superego) and I felt like "fine! don't then"/"oh god I am not attractive enough (ego). I never persisted. I never thought about my desired outcome.

I will take Gunwitch and Mystery's advice -- Fucking stop masturbating!

Flashback: My evolution in being interesting

I used to think being interesting requires wit and experience. That was the model I was working on in my teenage years. I slowly grow out of it. I realised that people can't be interesting for too long and it didn't take me long before I feel like I am talking the same old stuff over and over again.

As I grew, I also realised, despite getting new, crazy, fun, exciting experiences, they are still pretty much the same eventhough the context is different. I got bored and I was sick of everything. I became really boring and I thought I was not interesting or entertaining. I can't be bothered to get a life, and I was quite happy about that. I much prefer one on one deep and meaningful.

I must have raised my level... I was only interested in deeper stuff, mundane bullshit shits me. However, I was really limited to close friends, more intellectual friends and situations. Sometimes, people dislike intensity. BUT I LOVE INTENSITY! This was problematic as I felt like I am isolating myself from the rest of the world -- I was miserable.

Well, this turned out to be one of the greatest thing that happened to me! My problem isn't so much I was not interesting, my problem wasn't so much intensity. But my problem is that I was an egocentric fuck. I had to talk about myself. I needed approval from others. I wasn't sitting back and let people relate, I force myself onto them.

So, I tried to sit back these days, I learnt how to enjoy myself without seeking approval, I learnt how to internalise myself. At the same time, since I am experienced with the deeper, more intense things, I know where they are coming from. I just had to draw that out for other people. I know how you can bring that side out of other people and how it feels special once you get there.

Like Juggler said: "Don't be a Performer" -- You don't need to be interesting and entertaining in the traiditional sense! You are interesting and entertaining when you can lead and direct other's imagination and emotions. You are also respectable and the source of approval from others if you do. These days, I say less, but with more effect. I think ultimately, you wouldn't even have to say anything and the other person will fall in love with you. Starry eyes and doggy bowl look for me!! I want them to be deeply drawn to me without even know anything about me.

In a group situation, you direct the conversation, without providing any content. You set "topics", you develop the "road map". You reward and make fun out of contents of other people. You push their buttons. You are the glue and the source of energy -- as if, once you leave the group, the light is out for them.

Being interesting is also more about you projecting an image of being interesting than anything else. Lets face it, no one is interesting. In fact, the more they don't know about you, the more they think you are interesting. Don't let facts define how interesting you are -- Let other's imagination decide for themselves!

Another aspect is social proving... The better reputed you are, the more interesting you are and you don't even have to show for it!

Tools: Fluff talk

I see Fluff talk as a probing tool. Some people see it as an "introduction" or "comforting" method where you ease yourself into an interaction. However, after some playing around with groups or individuals, it seems that it shall also be used as a probing tool.

What I mean is that, if you use it as an introductory/comforting tool, what you are doing is advertising yourself. You should be doing a lot of that in the PRE-approaches, where people already noticed you and want to talk to you. The advertising is already half done before you talk to the person. Your job then, is not to get their attention or to establish value (you already have), but you are to confirm, complete that image of you in their minds and make it even better than they expected!

Before your interaction you already appear as a cool, fun guy. You want to get into incredible connection to bring everyone to your side. So, your goal is to get them to feel like you are one of them, and that they feel like they've known you forever. You are the one who they are seeking approval of and you are the one who directs others to participate, allowing them to be entertaining.

To be able to do that, you'd have to gather intelligence. You need to know the doorway into their hearts. That is what fluff is for, you gather information. It is the bridge for you to cross the "stranger's gap" and directly taking you straight to their doorway.

Conclusion: Fluff is setting the scene + probing.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

My attitude towards every situation

I am charming and have charisma
I am full of confidence
I am full of positive energy
I am full of spirit
I am full of cheerfulness

I am full of life, I AM LIFE and I bring life to whereever I go.

My attitude towards people

I use my intelligence to relate to people
I use my resourcefulness to relate to people
I use my skills to related to people
I use my knowledge to relate to people
I use my experience to relate to people

I am a LOVER, and I am here to love.

Inner Game: Composure, Calibration and Refinement

Project Composure, Calibration and Refinement

This is the natural progression from Project Unlearn, Relearn and Redefine. My subconscious has been wired in a very specific way and I must suggest to it new ways that make things work much better. Once I do, I have a basic working draft, roadmap, skeleton, framework... whatever.

Once that is done, I shall integrate it with my memories and consciousness to build my composure. That will be my basic energy. That will be the basic ME. Then, I shall calibrate myself with more outwardy things such as energy, attitude and behaviour. Finally, I will refine myself with body language, tonality, pace, fashion, knowledge etc.

Inner Game: Unlearn, Relearn and Redefine

Project Unlearn, relearn and redefine.

I want to rid myself of dogma, and other people's ideas that are causing me to behave/react. In order to be proactive and make intelligent and informative decisions, I must first unlearn undesirable thoughts. Then, relearn what I ought to learn at this time. Finally, formalise and redefining them into missions.

This is going to take ages...

Inner Game: What I want

Ideally, I would love to be with an amazing girl. This girl will have a good heart, to the world, the community and the people around them. She is happy with her life and she is in love with me.

The irony is that I don't believe I deserve that. I believe that it is impossible -- Nice, stable, gorgeous person -- a genuinely loving relationship -- A family.

I am only confident in fast women, fast relationships. Change is the constant for me. I only believe that a girl likes me for who I am right there, at the moment of intimacy, when we first met and we don't know each other. Anything longer term involves all kinds of other attachments that scares me. What is undefinable, without reason is real to me -- anything with a reason is a construct, and is not real. At the moment, I can see girls I like, girls I rate highly, girls who I think are the bomb. Funny thing is, its these same qualities that drives me away. I cannot deal with it. I disqualify myself. I FEEL FUCKED.

What I want for now is: I just want to be free, to experiment, to experience and have a great time on the way. I want lots of women, I want to try them out like a box full of pirated Play Station 2 games. I don't know what it is about and I want to know.

Since this involves people, the deal is that I will give my mind and my heart in return for their lives. I will give them a wonderful memory in return for them being wonderful people.

Field Report: Sarah

On the same night I met Helen, I also met Sarah. She came into the house and I was a bit busy with helen so I couldn't deal with her. My housemates handelled her but when I saw her intering the house, I gave a double take. She had a pretty face. I checked out her body but it was only average. However, her face and her energy made up for it. I approached: "So, which one are you?" She told me her name and I made some joke. She laughed and I had to go back to helen for some follow up. I gave her (helen) some kino then.

Then, she was in the living room again and she was in the middle of a conversation with another interviewee. I couldn't enter and so I returned to Helen. I can't remember what happened but I approached her and she sat down with me and we chatted. I made up some lame arse excuse about the chair in my room and she was interested, so I took it further and asked her to try sit on it. She said she liked the chair and asked me for an offer, and I think we had a deal. Then, she proceed to ask about me. I looked at her and realised her face is even prettier than I first noticed.

And she was showing interest, while having an engaging conversation too. I have to SOI her. So I asked her about herself. She went on and soon, she ended up asking me about myself and complimenting me! We were then distracted by Helen who wanted to have a lift back, and she reminded me that I should take care of the others. So we went out to the living room and we ended up sitting down and chat again. I talked briefly about my furniture and she said "give me a call if you want to sell it to me" I got her number and left...

Right on -- Think the PUA halo effect is working here.

Field Report: Susie

Today, I met Susie. She is a 19 year old anthropology student. I have noticed her before. I have seen her a couple of times in restaurant etc. and she IS my type, I almost sarged her each time I saw her. Shes got a really fresh face, short, boyish natural brown hair, and a BEAUTIFUL smile. She is taller than I am though. :(

I couldn't believe my eyes when I met her today coz she was the last person I was expecting to meet for an interview. She is still very young but her spirit was high. She looked at me and said "Fabio? I am Susie." Whoa.

While reframing from having one-itis, I observed. She is reserved but confident. And... HIGHLY INTELLIGENT! Oh god, I can see how it will be painful already. I already feel unworthy, but I remember Ross's voice saying "go for it" :p

Anyway, she is reserved, so during the interview, I took the lead often and showed her around, asking more question about her. She is probably not interested in the house so she wasn't quite motivated to ask questions. I made jokes and comments which she responded with good smiles. I probably dominated the group. But with some initiative, I probed her and she opens up a bit. On my way back, I probed her a bit more and encouraged her with some compliments. I wait till she told me a bit about herself before I gave her an IOI (OMG, I am giving IOI) by saying she is the most interesting interviee we've got so far, which she responded by saying "It is very kind for you to say that :)". I used some of my intuition and I got most of them right, I guessed that she got a lot of her values from her parents.

She seems very cerebral. OMG OMG OMG. Exactly the kind I aspire to. My feeling is that she is so cerebral that not many guys can get to that special place of her. She is definitely opinionated, just that she doesn't show it. Kinda, another Bryony. Hmmm. Anyway, she told me she is also very interested in biology and think it is fascinating. So, I made her a deal: You tell me more about these things and I can tell you more about biology. Her answer is ambigous and she said "yeah, I would like to know more about biology". She didn't say yes, but she didn't say no either.

Hmmm, come to think of it, she is prone to lieing, i.e., rationalising. She knows she is attractive though. Anyway. She is a 10. Shit. OK, thats what I wanted. 10's mmmmmm! If anything, this can be an opportunity to have a hot friend around for social augmentation. "GO FOR IT"

Alright: Frame shift! -- I will be a cool guy who attracts, I am genuine and I treat her like a person, if not a friend. I have other girls I sleep with and I will let her know. I will lead her imagination and emotions. I will give her kino, be intimate, create opportunities and commit her to it. All at the same time, not being obsessive over her. Intelligent, beautiful girls are especially suceptable to me. Go for it.

UPDATE: Now that I am more calm, Susie is probably a bad idea because she is really young. She is a good girl and deserve a good and loving relationship/experience. I, on the other hand is a bastard pick up artist. I only want to be involve with girls I care little about. So, she will be a friend only.

Field Report: Helen

I am moving out of my house and being a curteous person I am helping my housemates to get a Fabio replacement. This must have been our third interview evening and once again there will be girls. In the previous interviews, there were girls and to my surprise, they were decent girls who I wanted to know, but I didn't sarge because I didn't feel like it was right. Today, I was having lunch with my friend and he asked if I sarged those interviewees and at that time, I made a mental note that I must sarge that evening.

At about 4:00pm, a girl called me up and asked about the house. After some exchange, she asked if I can give her direction, and I hate giving directions coz I just can't. So I offered her a lift. I was a bit late and I met her outside the library. I approached her, held out my hand and said "Hi, are you waiting for me?" She said she just gave me a call, but I left my cellphone at work so I didn't get it.

She was an average looking asian girl, a bit on the edge of youth, she must have been 26 or something. She definitely have more energy than looks. I know it when I can interact with her without noticing anything about her physically. She looks fragile and tired. I have a prejudice that all asian women are vain or ugly, so my bad. Having a low expectation also gave me surprises though.

She seems reasonable and reminds me of a friend of mine. Probably finished uni, exploring life a little but have no clue as to what she wants. None the less, a good, proper, respectable, yet slightly open minded girl. There is an air of openness about her. We talked about the house but I always tried to project a rakish, devil may care attitude. I distracted her from her "concerns" by being interested in knowing what she is like. She was holding on and resisting.

She didn't like the house at all, but I showed my values by being a cool, chilled, hospital guy. She complimented me by saying I am a gentleman -- something that asian girls dig. I constantly reminded her that it feels different with her because I havn't been interacting with chinese girls much. When she was going, she suggested that we should get together for food or something and I instructed her to put her number on a piece of paper, as if she asked. She cracked it. Its been on her mind for awhile and yes, its an IOI, of course I jump at that. I applied the rules of escalation where I rewarded her offerings (for friendship/whatever) by acting excited as something I will enjoy immensely. (funny how being cocky and selfish makes you a more attractive person). The Atmosphere changed as I drive her back: She was asking me all kinds of questions, envisioning about calling me, asking me if I am busy...etc.

Finally, I offered her waiting in my car before her friend arrives to pick her up because I honestly hate to leave a girl waiting in a dark, cold evening by herself. The vibe was great and she couldn't stop talking. My intuition gave me a picture of her dancing salsa and so I asked if she likes to dance. I was spot on! That maxed it. Her hands were fidgeting with her scarf, she gave the shy look-away. At the end she couldn't stop waving good bye to me. Hmmmm...

Analysis: The strategy of this sarge was attitude, directing conversation, and providing opportunities. It worked wonders. I believe that once you've got the attitude right, your body language, verbal/non-verbal cues will take care of themselves.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Inner Game: Attitudes when going out

I am a cool, chilled guy
I do not take myself seriously
I am here to have fun
I am here for experiences
I am here to make connections with people
I am here to give people an exceptional experience


Listening to the Charisma science podcast again.

Calibration seems to be the answer to my query. My understanding is that you are calibrated if your actions are congruent with your thoughts. It is an expression of energy with every part of you that make sense with the situation.

Lets put it this way. I question about the adaptablility of patterns, routines etc. It is also not fun. I like spontaneity. I like to adapt to the situation and mold with it -- like surfing. So the question is: How can I be adaptable enough so that each interaction is unique and yet being successful?

Calibration is about this. It is about BEING. It is not about content and techniques. It is about your attitude, the prerequisit is that you have good inner game, and once you do, you refine your physical body to your mind. You BE your attitude. And you project that energy.

Friday, April 21, 2006

A Price to pay

One of my firm believe is that everything has a price tag to it. Seduction is no different.

In "The Game" Neil confessed that "There was a catch to learning NLP, manipulation and self improvement. No actions-whether yours of another's was devoid of intent. Every word had a hidden meaning, and every hidden meaning had weight, and every weight had its own special place on the scale of self-interest".

I have long since noticed this price when I first started management. It slowly eased itself into my belief systems. Perhaps for a natural, they are just so good naturally. But I am not. I am an un-natural, I need augmentation. I paid the price to gain power. To what end will it lead me? How much more will I have to pay in the future in exchange for what I am getting? Who knows.

I have also been a long subscriber to a mechanistic view of the world, I believe in systems, I believe in the scientific method -- models, and predictable, reproducible outcomes based on these models. I have always do things this way for "earthly things", but the power in applying these methods to the mind is immense. I am quite frankly -- scared.

Is this growing up?


I was listening to the podcasts at Charisma Sciences. One of the things I found particularly interesting is the idea of escalation.

Escalation is your elevator to her sexual state. Most interactions starts off being non-sexual, and if you want to get to a sexual interaction, you need escalation.

Some of the key ideas are:
1/. Acknoledging barriers to sexual expression, this allows them to express themselves (sexually) in comfort. What this means is that if you confront her by stating that there is sexual intent, it makes her feel uncomfortable. By acknowledging that there are barriers to express that freely, you have a mutual agreement of sexual intent. Sweet.

2/. Have the mindset that "All women want to have sex with you, you just have to let her know it"

3/. Have the mindset that "All women need to have sex with you, but whats preventing her from doing it is that she has obstacles in her life"

4/. Your job is to let her know she wants you and to lead her around her obstacles

5/. This is the later part of the game when you already established adequate value, all you have to do is not to fuck it up. Stop obsessing over creating value at this point.

6/. Escalation is a timing issue, it is more important to know WHEN to escalate than to how.

7/. You escalate at HER high point. The high point is when she demonstrates value and got her recognition. So she makes an effort, and you show that you are being turned on by her. i.e.:
1st - You create a situation that allows her to be interesting
2nd - She does something/said something that deserves your interest
3rd - You reward her
4th - Escalate

8/. To escalate is to lead. You work her up physically and emotionally. You indicate more sexual intent. Kino, take her to a more private/intimate place.

The ideal legs

These are the best legs I have EVER seen in my entire life. They are even better in real life. I thought I had an idea of what perfect legs would be, but no no no... I was in awe when I saw these.

Uncertain, Ambivalent.

In one of Ross Jeffrie's tapes "How to get unstoppable confidence". He stated that "One problem with women is that they are uncertain, they are ambivalent... You don't fix that with being uncertain yourself, you can only deal with it by being absolutly certain yourself."

That is so true. In fact, thats not just for women, thats EVERYONE!

And I have been trying to deal with it by being uncertain myself... NO MORE!

One of the recuring problems I have is that I am not certain enough and I do not think about what I am try to achieve enough. I seem to have this inherent desire to convince others with words. That doesn't work...

You really have to be in the mindset of asserting your intent all the time. You have to constantly be CERTAIN about your goals. You have to know what you are doing and that everything you do must have a purpose

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

A great way to introduce yourself:

Is to introduce your friends to the target(s). It is also a good test. If you introduce everyone and she doesn't know your name, she will only ask if she is interested to a certain degree. Or, at least, you have created some interest by doing so. Otherwise, if the girl doesn't ask, she is probably not interested or shy or dumb or tired (you can tell).

You got her interested
You got her participated
You avoided being typical
You get her name without asking her directly!


Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Mark this day! Its major life changing day!

You know, you can remember some of those key moments in your life where you've made decisions about your world-view that affected you for the rest of your life?

Well, I just had another one.

From now on, I will have little concern for other people (targets, girls). I have a rule that they will have to be better off afterwards but I will have no concern over them what so ever. What I am concerned about is me. My interests, my desires, and not to get myself into too much trouble.

Other people are unreal, they are just the fragment of my imagination! I don't know what they think, I dont know whats best for them, I have to stop making excuses for myself to do or not do things. So, just spend your energy on YOUR OWN CONCERNS! Coz they are more real.

There you go.


May I also express that...

Whoever invented pop-up's (and also spam) should be shot, and then, shot again in their balls or ovaries, or both if (S)he is a hermaphrodite! One of the foulest thing ever invented on earth! Sinful SINFUL! *please excuse me while I fetch my torches and pitforks*

Flash Back: Beginner's luck

The very first time I went out clubbing. I was 17. I was with my best friend. And we went to a new development in town where it was the latest and greatest hang out. It was scary, and exciting at the same time. We didn't know what we were doing and we were just enjoying ourselves.

I can't remember how it happened, but we ended up sitting with these girls and my friend was into one of them and I was into the other. I had a girlfriend back then, and since we were underage, we were a bit nervous and would rather not be too out there. These girls were from Thailand and it was difficult for us to communicate. Apparently, they were students and was really bored. They were exceptionally hot and we were wondering why they were talking to us.

After awhile they wanted to go but they also wanted phone numbers. So we gave it to them... I didn't know what to do... They got our phone number and left...

Anyway, after a few days, I was having an Anime marathon at my place, we were watching Mobile Suit Gundam 0080: War in the pocket and I was furious when my mum interrupted me about a phone call for me. Well, turned out it was that girl we met at the pub. I was freaked! She was asking me out and I said to her "Welllllllll~~~, I have a dinner with my mum tonight." She went "Well, we are going out afterwards too, whens your dinner, you should join us". I made up some bullshit about mum needing to talk to me all night and said thank you, and call me again. Of course she never did.

I called my friend up about this and he yelled at me, called me names... telling me how selfish I was. Well. I asked for it. It was one of the worse sinful thing I have ever done. Anyway, it caught up to me later. After that call. I went back to my anime marathon cheerfully...

Monday, April 17, 2006

Mission for next outing

Primary Objective
To be able to open as many sets as possible, and to get girls to approach me.

I will focus on social proof and pawning. First, I will have to project a character of the romantic hero, possessing the six traits of the Alpha according to Mystery. I will establish myself as a desirable person and I will peacock. Then, I will open one set after another. But will not go any further than just some fluff talk. The goal is to make the sets comfortable with me. Also work on providing opportunities for girls to approach me.

Secondary Objective
Three number closes.

Online source

Dude, the online scene is so different. Mind you I am new to it and I havn't tried a lot of it. But I am missing something. Tried twice. Both ended up with the girl saying "bye" during chat. I know there are specialised online dating materials so perhaps I will pay more attention to them later. I manage to get replys which means my profile is at least half decent, and my photos are alright. It is probably something I said. I really dont know what to say to a stranger in a chat. Big big shields online!

hmmmm... who would have thought? I am better in real person than online!

Concept: Closing

Closing is a way to bridge the current set and the next thing. There is a dual factor, one of which was disgussed in the last post where it is a guilt driven motivation to keep it on with you. The other is to associate yourself with good feelings so that she wants more. To get to a next level of excitment/intrigue that she desires, opens to and be comfortable with the next thing.

These two factors determine whether the girl is going to go on a date with you, whether she will leave you after your toilet break, or to let you take her to your room etc. Without these two factors, girls might flake out on you. Without these two factors, buyer's remorse might take over. Either one of these factors alone will not be strong enough. It has to be the twins working at full strength together.

I think thats what Closing is. It is a bridging tool. Thats what closing is, it is a DONE DEAL, it is a committment, it is a point of no return. It is not closing if you do not have "the deal". Also,you only close when you are leaving, or being interrupted, there is no reason to close a deal otherwise. So, in that sense, you are just in that same process of seducing, and that is not closing.

One must not close prematurely, if you do, even if you get a done deal for the next thing, you might loose some power. You want maximum effectiveness. Always close at the climax. Remember, if she wonders off into her consciousness or intellect, you are toasted. Her thinking is bad for you! Get her obsessed instead, get yourself into her emotional side. Your positiveness must be strong enough to survive the steady decrease in potency until you refill her again with some. :p

Concept: Point of no return

I have had this idea for ages. Instead of a concept derived from success, it was a result of failureS, yes, MANY F-A-I-L-U-R-E-S.

I have seen it many times. That when a girl hook up with someone, she is beyond the point of no return (for awhile, + sluts, psychos and strippers excluded). This is a semi-committment, a mostly guilt driven phenomenon. Although if a girl is really into a guy, she shuts off everyone else -- but that is different because it happens BEFORE they hook up. Even if a girl is totally into someone else, and you hook up with her, she will be committed to you (for awhile).

So, I believe girls have value system that have these "check points" where once they are past, you get into another level and each time you do, you enter a short term of these committments. e.g., "I don't go around kissing guys, so once I kiss this guy, I am committed to talk to him mostly tonight", "I am no slut and I don't sleep with everyone, so I am going to just have this one fuck buddy".

Use it to your advantage! If you want to have a girl hooked, get her past these points of no return.

Concept: Provide opportunities

I want to talk about providing opportunities, as one of my earlier post said, my strategy is to provide opportunities. Allow me to explain:

If a girl is presented an opportunity -- a windown of opportunity -- to take what she deires, something exciting, and forbidden. And it is right in front of you, isn't that extremely tempting?

My one and only girlfriend told me once "if you give someone a chance to cheat -- OF COURSE YOU WILL!" (I should have dumped her back then... but I was busy thinking about me cheating myself...)

It is very powerful to generate the DESIRE in a girl and then, present her with the opportunity -- She will take it.

However, the girl is not going to be taking that responsibility, so you will have to do it. I know, it is much nicer to your ego if she bares that as well and take the initiative... But it is very hard to do. At this stage, it became YOUR window of opportunity to take the lead and initiate it. If you choose to take that risk of getting the woman to initiate it, then, don't cry if she didn't.

Girls are shy

OMG, I just had a revelation! Call me stupid I don't care, but this is profound to me. Ok here goes:


Well, some girls are. Do you remember that time when you are out in a pub or at a party, and you end up meeting this girl for one reason or another? Even when she approaches you? You end up patrified, and you just have all these things running in your head, but none of them seem to be cool enough to come out of you mouth so you end up saying nothing.

Yet she still make an effort to talk to you but you end up just saying a few simple words, like, "Ugh"? And try as you might, you still go "Ugh"? And then you beat you self up, wondering why you are so boring and useless? Then she walks away awkwardly or make something up about her boyfriend waiting for her? or act insulted?

Well, news for you big boy! She is just as nervous and boring as you are!!! God damn it! how come I never saw that? She could be offended or whatever, but its not about you! You are not boring and useless!

So, practice on how to deal with that situation.

Sheeze... idiot.

The Push and The Pull

The Push would be to act dominant and aggressive
The Pull will be to charm with ferocity

The push is a hard way of getting submissions
The pull is a soft way of getting surrenders

The push is about getting someone to do something
The pull is about getting someone to want to do something

Both push and pull are useful and they are most powerful with used in combination

To Alpha or not to Alpha

I believe that the whole emphasis on being alpha and dominaating is not THE way to go. To say that girls are only attracted to dominant and aggressive guys does not make sense to me. Sure it might work for some girls, and sure it might even work for a lot of girls... But there are girls who might be more appealing to other energies.

Also, I am not a person like that by nature, not physically not mentally. It is very hard for me to be congruent with being alpha -- Thats what I think. As far as I am concerned, I am just a normal human being doing my shit. However, certain things about me sets me apart from the general crowd; and I do feel alpha sometimes, accidentally.

What I think is: Most AFC's fail not because they are not Alpha, but the are wussies. There is a middle ground where you can be nice and normal, while not being taken advantage of. The truth is, always being alpha, and pushy really doesn't work on some girls and it a lot of effort to be congruent with that energy.

The advocates for being alpha thinks that it just works somehow without much elaboration as to why. And so I am a bit skeptical. I believe that as long as you don't suplicate, and you are firm with your boundries you will be fine. It is not necessary to encourage aggression towards people. There are better ways.

More often then not, you'd be better off relying on frame shift to get sexual.

The romantic hero

I don't know, but so far, I think I'd like to be the romantic hero.

I believe that actors project certain energies, energies that influence other people. Certain movies have character belonging to certain architypes and they choose the actors who can project those energies onto the screen. I believe that Johnny Depp has a very strong energy associated with the romantic hero.

From my observation, the romantic hero has a few friends, he is charming but he is not a socialite. He is almost like a socialite who is bored with socialising and at the same time preoccupied with a passion or obsession. The more intense and powerful romantic heros also have a very dark side to them. It is this dark side that is very intriguing. The romantic hero is also mysterious and not easy to get. They are not submissive nor suplicating. They put themselves at risk for his values or interests. However, they do not have a lust for power. He is independent, content, intelligent, capable and passionate.

New Goal

My new goal is to go back even further in the linear game. Right now, I believe I have all the "six quality of the alpha male" according to The Game. That is, confidence, smile, well groomed, sense of humour, connecting with people and being the centre of attention. Especially the smile and the grooming. These are more of the outwardly things that you project, as well as the internal attitudes you have.

I had a problem with some attitudes before, namely: Too up-tight/serious, lack of basis for where I am coming from. But these are solved now.

Now, it comes down to techniques. I need to work on techniques.

So, my new goal is to go back even further and get things done right from the start. That is, the work before the actual opening. The pre-sarge! How do I walk in a set, how do I pawn, how do I position myself for easy access, how do I screen for openings, how do I peacock, how do I develop social proof?

The pre-games. Yeah mate.


Sunday, April 16, 2006

Do not wait to close

It has been painful experience one aftr another. I can confess with first hand experience that there is only a small window of opportunities in taking things further, if you miss it, you screwed it.

There can be many reasons why you won't close a girl. It can be because you just arn't into her that much. It could be because you think you can't show too much interest (stay'in cool). It could be that shes just an experiment for a particualr thing. Perhaps you have "morals"?...However, if you choose not to close at the right moment, it is your choice to go down the LJBF path, or even worse, she hates you for it, calling you a weirdo/creepo.

The game is rather linear, if you turn a girl on and not follow through, it doesn't make sense. It is not like its not possible to rescue it later, but why put yourself in a more difficult situation? (Unless you want a challenge) What usually happens is the tension build up and the girl feels guilty for being turned on like that. Sometimes, they react negatively to it and sometimes, they retreat to the "friends zone".

So, please follow through and close, even if you don't really want to coz the alternative is worse. You retain your power this way. Nothing wrong with kissing, and even sex -- nothing wrong with that. You can still choose to be friends after that. The reverse is not true!

Friday, April 14, 2006

Fragrance: Eternity Summer by Calven Klein

The "Summer" version of the cK Eternity is quite different from the normal Eternity. It has a much fresher and lighter headnote

Fragrance: Black by Kenneth Cole

Kenneth Cole's Black for men, EDT. Its just as good as Reaction, in fact it is quite similar except that the head note is not so fruity but flowery.

My Affirmations

To have genuine, meaningful relationships
To be balanced -- adequate dosage of women is essential
To improve constantly

You are the definition of attractiveness
You are what women need and it is fun to give yourself to them
You have fun in the process
Some women have issues and they will be too difficult for you at that time. Thats normal

You present challenges and opportunities for her to have you
You take responsibility to lead and follow through

Fragrance: True Star by Tommy Hilfiger

This is my favourite fragrance: Tommy Hilfiger's True Star for men EDT.


Here are my answers to my problems, they are, in essence:

You are what women need and it is fun to give yourself to them.

You enjoy the process and you have fun doing that.

You present challenges and opportunities for her to have you.

You take responsibility to lead and follow through.

You are proactive and resourceful.

You use your emotions to your advantage.

Emotional Management

In my experience, in all the settings I had ever subject myself to: Your emotion and attitude are the two most important factor determining your success. As soon as it goes down, it snow-balls and before you know it, you are fucked.

Right now, I still get beaten down by rejection. Why is my self esteem so fragile? Literally, it is rather like an egg -- some chick throw it down the ground and it splashes, making an irreversible mess. Instead, I would like to be a bouncy ball -- The harder you throw it towards the ground, the harder its going to bounce back, and in all kinds of unpredictable direction. This is much more fun and much healthier.

How can I be a bouncy ball?

It appears to be critical to manage your emotion, before and during sarging. One has to be totally independent emotionally. Your spirit and energetic potency must be safeguarded as a number one national priority.

What to consider? How?

Another question is: How do I know when I am overconfident and complacent? How do I know when it is time to learn new skills?

More question: Feeling inadequate and accepting inadequacy is a strong motivation for me to improve myself! If I loose that motivation, how do I improve?

Even more question: How much should I work on a challenge? If a subject is more challenging, perhaps I can win with more/better game?


The Enneagram is a nine sided figure. It was designed to assign personality types into 9 systematic categories. It is based on our desires, needs and fears. Each personality type has different levels of health. I am a pretty healthy type 8

I believe that there are way too many ways to understand people and social dynamics. I think it might be worthwhile to learn the Enneagram + Tarot cards + Astrology. They are chick magnets and do help out on knowing how people work. I probably should work on understanding myself, then, move onto analysing others based on these systems.

Fragrance: Wikipedia

And of course, theres always Wikipedia:
Fragrance Notes
A mixture of alcohol and water is used as the solvent for the aromatics. On application, body heat causes the solvent to quickly disperse, leaving the fragrance to evaporate gradually over several hours. The rate of evaporation (vapor pressure) and the odor strength of the compound partly determine the tenacity of the compound and determine its perfume note classification.
Top notes:
Scents that are perceived immediately on application of a perfume. Top notes create the scents that form a person's initial impression of a perfume. Because of this, they are very important in the selling of a perfume. The scents of this note class are usually described as "fresh," "assertive" or "sharp." The compounds that contribute to top notes are strong in scent, very volatile, and evaporate quickly. Citrus and ginger scents are common top notes.

Heart notes or Middle notes:
The scent of a perfume that emerges after the top notes dissipate. The heart note compounds form the "heart" or main body of a perfume and act to mask the often unpleasant initial impression of base notes, which become more pleasant with time. Not surprisingly, the scent of heart note compounds is usually more mellow and "rounded." Scents from this note class appear anywhere from 2 minutes to 1 hour after the application of a perfume. Lavender and rose scents are typical heart notes. Top notes and heart notes are sometimes described together as Head notes.

Base notes:
The scent of a perfume that appears after the departure of the top notes. The base and middle notes together are the main theme of a perfume. Base notes bring depth and solidness to a perfume. Compounds of this class are often the fixatives used to hold and boost the strength of the lighter top and heart notes. The compounds of this class of scents are typically rich and "deep" and are usually not perceived until 30 minutes after the application of the perfume or during the period of perfume dry-down. Musk, vetiver and scents of plant resins are commonly used as base notes.

Perfumes oils, or the "juice" of a perfume composition, are diluted with a suitable solvent to make the perfume more usable. This is done because undiluted oils contain volatile components that would be too concentrated for people with sensitive skin or allergies. Although dilutions of the perfume oil can be done using solvents such as jojoba, fractionated coconut oil, and wax, the most common solvents for perfume oil dilution is ethanol or a mixture of ethanol and water. The percent of perfume oil by volume in a perfume is listed as follows:

Perfume extract: 20%-40% aromatic compounds
Eau de parfum: 10-30% aromatic compounds
Eau de toilette: 5-20% aromatic compounds
Eau de cologne: 2-3% aromatic compounds

More on Fragrances

From Yahoo
Sniffing around for "types of perfume" turned up the sweet smell of eau de toilette and eau de parfum, as well as other versions of scented luxury.
Most perfumes are complex combinations of natural materials, such as essential oils from plants, and synthetic products that increase the lasting power and heighten the smell. Alcohol is used as a liquid base for perfume, and the ratio of alcohol to scented perfume concentrates determines what the final concoction is labeled.

From highest concentration to least, the different forms of perfume are:

Perfume, also called extract or extrait perfume, can include 15-40% perfume concentrates. This is the purest form of scented product and is the most expensive as a result.

Eau de parfum contains about 7-15% perfume concentrates. This is the most popular and common form of perfume. It provides a long-lasting fragrance and generally doesn't cost as much as extract perfume.

Eau de toilette has around 1-6% perfume concentrates. This makes for a light scent that doesn't linger as long as the more intense versions. It was originally intended to be a refreshing body splash to help people wake up in the morning.

Eau de cologne is sometimes used interchangeably with the term eau de toilette. However, the concoction began as the name of a light, fresh fragrance mixed with citrus oils and was made popular by Napoleon. Some perfumers today have a version of this called eau fraiche.

While these are the main classes of perfume, other products are frequently scented with perfume concentrates too. Lotions, creams, powders, body splashes, aftershaves, soaps, and other cosmetic products may contain variable (though usually small) amounts of fragrance.
Now that you have your scents straight, we're sure you'll smell like a rose all day!

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Fragrance: Athletics by Tommy Hilfiger

I have been using Tommy Hilfiger's Athletics for men in the last 5 years. It has been a wonderful fragrance and it goes really well with its shower gel. The 50ml lasted me the whole 5 years while the shower gel lasted me about 6 months. It started off as a more flowery flavour but slowly lost its flowery-ness. However it still smells good and it definitely sells woody, and is "serious" and "rich"...

Althought not particularly my taste, I got accustomed to it and girls seems to like it. It also lasts quit long, easily going for 5-6 hrs and its very strong, leaving a lasting trail behind you.

Fragrance: Reaction by Kenneth Cole

Browsing through various men's fragrances in a Sydney Myer's store. I came across the Kenneth Cole Reaction For men EDT.

It stood out amongst all other fragrances I tried that day. But this is partly due to my preference for fruity fragrances. This fragrance smells like a blend of green apple, pear and watermelon. However, I noticed that it changes over time (20 minutes), turning from a definite fresh, fruty flavour to a bit musky and creamy.

This fragrance is probably designed to be worn during the day, is rather subtle and lasts for about three hours for me.

final header

better header

This header is "borrowed" from ftw-design without permission. I doubt anyone cares about this blog, so I just took it and modified it for use. Oh, and thanks google for finding this image for me :)



Grrrr: Need more inner game!

It is true that you only know how game you are by throwing yourself out there. The more you do it, the more you are aware of it. The more you are aware of it and the more you are receptive on the way it works.

My game now is that I am capable of openly enjoying myself in a setting. However, I am still suceptable to failure, my mood goes down, get agitated, disappointed, confused, disoriented, loss of confidence. On top of that, I need stronger assessment systems. I also don't feel superior, or am dis-regarding my own reality.

Think this depends on my understand of my own reality, without understanding it, without it being constantly there, I am incapable of exerting that fully. So, these are the inner game I need to work on:

1/. Understand my own reality more.
2/. Be ver certain about my reality
3/. Emotional independence
4/. Love myself more!



Some analysis.

This group of people are compete with each other. They were to gather information from each other and so was not there purely for run. In addition, they had a program to pub hop, and it was their first stop. So they would have been trying to interact with as many people as possible and then follow up on it later. They could have try to stretch it out and be guarded.

One thing for sure is that the bitch shield was massive. There were only personas and no one was interested in being genuine. It was a very superficial interaction. Besides they were young and had the attitude that they can be in control and are sociallly savvy.

None the less, there is no excuse, a pick up artist should be able to pick up at any setting, including this one.


Report: Problem

Last night, it was the first time I sarged. Needless to say, it was a complete failure. Here is what happened.

It started off with a private function at a local bar. It was a gathering from around the country and the group was rather big. There must have been a hundred people. Age group from 18 to 22, from first year undergraduates onwards. They couldn't have been more than 23. There were more girls than guys, and it was a really strange dynamics.

I wasn't part of the group. I gate crashed them, infiltrated them -- Just to entertain myself. I managed to charmed my way through and was able to approach anyone with relative ease, name exchanges, initial fluff talk (about a minute). But there appears to be a genuine disinterest in taking the conversation to the next level, and more to the point, everyone, boys and girls seems to want to run away. I didn't understand why because this never happened to me before.

Anyway, they are bizzare. There seemed to be a lot of attitude going on there, perhaps I could have used a bit of neg. But it wasn't in my mind. I didn't really know what to do and I only used my genuine desire to be charismatic, having a good fun time to approach people. It didn't work very well, clearly, more is needed.

This made me realise how important it is to have game, I don't have game. And I am completely lost in the field.

More thinking is needed


Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Incredible connection

I have been attempting to get deeper and deeper into people. I think I have gone into the third level...

In my experience, I have only felt that level of connection twice. Once with my long term girlfriend, where I fell in love for the first time and then, the girl I dated last, and it was when we were in bed together one night.

I believe I have mad that level three contact yesterday. It was just by looking into someone else's eyes.

I must explore on this more



Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Good decision vs Quick decision

When you feel awkward, doubtful, disoriented, hesitant, undecisive -- You are fucked!

People pick up on that and see it as weakness, softness. Even if your hesitation, doubtfulness is a result of careful analysis, open-mindedness, it doesn't matter! You pay the price for it and thats other people's interpretation of that trait. Protect yourself.

Remember, the more experienced you are, the less time you need to make a decision. It is not totally unreasonable for others to judge your "superiority" (in this case, your experience, or intellectual capabilities) by the amount of time you need to make a decision. Balance a good decision with a quick decision. First mover's advantage is POWERFUL!

Its probably also related to your fears, the more fearful you are, the more cautious you are to protect yourself. Let go! you can deal with the consequences, no matter what it is coz you are the kind of man who will take responsibilities, and will be capabable to deal with it swiftly and with grace.

Be swift, smooth and slick! fuck yeah!



Flashback: A bit of history

Thought I might talk a bit about how I got into this.

From the introduction in the beginning of this blog, I mentioned how this all started with a revelation. It must have been about July 2005. One can trace it back to the week after I went to New Zealand for a conference. At that time I did not know what to do, by my idea was to put myself out there and just to see what happens.

I remember way back in high school, it must have been form 6 (year 10, whatever). A bunch of us geeks were sitting in a car, chatting away and we came across the topic of being a romantic hero. We've decided that we need to know Astronomy, Astrology, bevearges, fashion senese, purfume and dancing.

On hindsight, our analytical, geeky view of seduction had a deep deep root. Also, we had (and probably still have) the idea that once we are *ready*, we will be able to do it. Of course, the reality is, you are never ready and its too late when you are ready. More to the point, your practice to get to readiness is crutial, if not critical.

Nonetheless, I was still clueless in 2005 and I thought I would not be ready to go out dating until I sort out my wardrobe. So I subjected myself to the world of fashion. It was fascinating! All the styles, colours, ideas, cuttings, fabrics. And being an artist, I loved it. At that time, I was obsessed with fashion and I quickly find myself running out of money fast. The usual solution? EBAY!!!!!

I came across these exceptional ties that I particularly like which were made by Brioni. After some googling, I found out what they were and through one of the links, I came across a website called -- Askmen.com.

From then on, I opened a whole new, massive can of worms...



End the meeting first and with a high note?

Over all the attempts I have with practicing since I got into this, I have purposely exit an interaction. This has much to do with David DeAngelo's stuff where he proposed the idea of "always end the meeting first" or "always end with a high note". Looking into the past, I can see how when I am interested in a girl, I tendd to try to hang around for as long as possible, talk about all kinds of stuff and perhaps getting myself all worked up, hoping to get *something*.

Now this might not be problematic as such but I can see its problems --
1/. You get to the awkward silences, or cold spots
2/. It feels like an effort to keep going, to be interesting and to avoid awkward silences
3/. The girl is bored, tired and you run out of things to say

David DeAngelo attribute these problems, to a large degree, to your incapability to end a meeting, and his answer is to end it.

SO! I have been trying that out and my opinion on that is -- Ending it first and on a high note also have their problems, as well as benefits. By doing that, I do not let myself get into the awkward cold spots. I won't run out of things to say and bore the girl, and leaving the girl wanting more. Often, you get the spine chilling sensation of -- oh, this is becoming an effort. And you get a bit anxious. It is a good way to avoid that stuffing it up for you.

However, this is what I also find --
1/. By ending the session, you are giving up the momentum
2/. You are defining yourself as incapable of going further at the setting
3/. You do not follow through, your action is not congruent with your intent
4/. Subject yourself buyer's remorse
5/. Subject yourself with further external factors

So, obviously, the rule of ending first and with a high note is not a reliable one and must be used carefully. I know it is easier to do just end it abruptly when you feel anxious, but I believe it is a bad practice, and there are other remedies to solve the problem. If you do choose to end it first and with a high note, make sure you have the above points covered before you do.

Monday, April 10, 2006

THINK and Get Laid!

As Napoleon Hill constantly reminds me in his fabulous book, Think and Grow Rich, the seed of all success begin with a BURNING DESIRE~!

What the naturals have is a BURNING DESIRE to have the women of their desires. Everything else flows from that.

"I am so very horny and I want to get laid so much, but I only end up looking like a creepy pervert."

Well, my friend, you are either extremely dumb or you just don't care enough. If you really REALLY want to be successful with women, you study them till you get a PhD for it, you try to work out what works, what doesn't and practice until you get success! What most of us are doing is that we simply WISH that you can get laid and are not prepared to put in the necessary sacrifice for it. Those "naturals" deserved what they've got as they thougt about it and they risked for it. Well, did you do all that? No? Well, I wonder why you are not getting any...

"So, simply wanting it is all I need to get laid? Its that easy?"

Well, please don't underestimate the power of desire and determination. They are forces that move mountains and um, build rockets that goes to the moon...

Anyway, If you are not quite motivated enough, there is probably another problem... That you think you know what you want, but in fact, you have completely no clue as to what you want! If you can't work that out, it is very difficult to have a BURNING DESIRE for it.

So, lesson number one -- work out what you want!



Eye contact patterns cont. cont.

The successful guy.

While the AFC does what the previous post describes, the successful guy, or naturals spots a target and will proceed immediately to:

1/. They "open their peacock butt-feathers" -- by posing
2/. They parade in close proximity to the subject
3/. They sing their mating songs -- by being loud
4/. They approach -- with small talking.
5/. They get persistent...

Grrr... don't you just hate them? Can't you just remember those shameless acts, and despise them? You know what I am talking about! And you can probably remember vividly that arsehole in your head, approaching YOUR target, or your sister or something. What has they got that I don't? you asked. That no talent, pretentious son of a ... I know, I know, the pain. But lets learn from them ok?

Actually, the more skilled guys tend to also perform a bit of a "hard to get" as well. The overwhelming theme: "I am so cool" and the determination.

I think that most of us, while red-eyes over these "naturals", or getting all worked up over some HB's, we are actually just not so motivated in the whole process. Maybe we make excuses for our wussiness? maybe we are just not that attracted to them actually, maybe we just don't feel like it... WHATEVER! Whatever the reason was, we weren't motivated enough to take that risk. And this is half of the problem.



Eye contact patterns cont.

In contrast, here is typical perving exercise of a guy:

1/. Look around
2/. Saw something nice, all else in the world fades out
3/. Perv intensively, check out key areas and wondering why its so nice
4/. Start fantasising, thinking of the possibilities
5/. Got caught perving due to super laser eyesight buring their boobies
6/. Pretend that you are not perving coz you are not a perv! No sir.

A lot less sinister, simply showing our appreciation to mother nature...

Like I said earlier, our field of vision covers a much smaller area than girls. When we spot a girl, we would have already been spotted. And when you perv, you are already being carefully monitored (they don't need eyes to detect your perving). Normally, the girl will give you some gesture and we tend to look away in attempt to avoid being caught but retreat to our peripherial vision to do as much perving as possible.

This is what a typical "nice guy" or "normal guy" would do in a walk by scenario.



Disclaimer: This applys to walk pasts between a guy and a girl she doesnt know (mostly by herself) and when she is not pre-occupied heavily with something shes doing.

Eye contact patterns

I studied eye contact patterns of "walk by's" recently. When it comes down to eye contact patterns, there is a striking difference between boys and girls and between city girls vs country girls.

Most guys have a much shorter eyesight than girls. Girls have magnificant scanning ability and before you manage to spot a girl, she would have already had you in her radars for awhile. So, don't worry about them not noticing you, if they insist, they are mostly lying.

This sets the girls in an advantageous position where they are in control of the situation.
First, Girls generally avoid being blatant about perving -- But they do perv. Some inexperienced girls blatantly perv at guys when they are in less control (drunk), playing the whole "woman freedom" exhibition, or are making fun of you. Very few give a genuine admiring glance, besides, unless you are absolutely gorgeous, you are not likely going to get this treatment.
Second, Girls have full control over observing your response to her existence, or the test she put on you. You are in the dark while she is fully in the know about the situation. They have then established themselves as the interviewer and you are the intervieweeeeeeee~~!

OK, this is their strategy:
When they scan, the scan all the possibile perving potentials, and they perv when you won't catch them. This is to check for potential "something more", which they proceed to "test" by eye contact to sus out the "vibe" from you. HAH!

I have confirmed this with many many girls. Some of them do it subconsciously, some of them deliberately. This really shows the internal processes, e.g., they believe that they are the selector, they do not simply react to "looks", they have "types" for assisting the screening process...

So, when you catch a girl doing the "vibe test" on you, you have already past two tests simply by doing NOTHING!!! Hurray! So, don't be shy, play away!



City girls vs Country girls

They ARE different! And don't argue about it. The more people there are, the more diverged they are, the more concentrated they are, the more they are adapted to live with close proximity with each other.

The seduction methods described in major methods seems to work best for city girls than country girls. The country girls are more simple, which at first sight, make you think that they are easier to handle with. However, their simplicity make them more set in their ways, and therefore, less open to possibilities, less complications to play with (city girls have all sorts of world-views one can exploit), and do not have the emotional/stimulation need that city girls have.

There is also the number's game. More girls in the cities, more competition and girls are (in a way) less snobbish in the cities. Ironically, city girls seems to be less guarded/defensive as well... Some say city people are superficial scumbags. I disagree. I believe the city people just accepted that as the way it is. In fact, city people treasure "higher cognitive function" as they can see pass appearance and be able to take consideration of people's inner strengths, higher societal strengths.

I do not regard "genetic" strengths such as looks, fitness or socially induced "personalities" such as simple, down to earth, or aggressive are somehow more genuine, or less superficial.

Speed Seduction in Sydney Bookstore

Last weekend I took a trip down to Sydney and was browsing through a book store. I was looking for The Game by Neil Strauss which led me to the "Men's interest" section. In that section, I found two copies of Ross' How To Get Women You Desire Into Bed. And throughout the many times I revisited the section, the books have been constantly rearranged, indicating people's interest.

It was selling for A$26.50. Hmmm...

It has the new cover which is incredibly goofy and embarrassing... Ahhh, Ross... :p

More Speed Seduction

To me, I have identified speed seduction as the tools of choice for my current lifes-style. The reasons are as follows:

1/. I subecribe to the lifestyle and philosophy in POLYAMORY
3/. Its methods are useful in many other aspects of life as well

Besides, I have spent hundreds of dollars on the damn thing and months and months of time on the damn thing... I can only go on. So, from now on, I will be posting my random thoughts, results, or studies about speed seduction.



Speed Seduction

After going through the entire Delux Speed Seduction Home Study Course[speed seduction], I had this thought.

The "speed" in speed seduction is not an effect, but an affect
It appears that the methodologies in Ross Jeffries methods REQUIRES it to be fast. In one of the sessions, Jeffries himself noted the irony in that the more you know the person you are seducing, the more work you need to put into it. When we talk about a relationship, it may span from a few seconds to an entire human life-time. Ross' stuff is probably effective, and relatively easy for anything under a year. In fact, it is probably designed to work very well until the first couple of dates.

In fact, we are not supposed to date with women, we are supposed to make an incredible connection, wether mental, emotional or physical. There are no dates. However, sometimes, one may choose to walk down the dating path to pursue something different (whether it is more meaningful or not).

An incredible connection, in my opinion, is an illusion and does not last. Now this is not a subject of whether experiences should be ever-lasting (or eternally recurring) or not. However, people get desensitised and that is a fact. No one can go on for ever and ever with one thing and things get old pretty quickly. No matter how clever you are.

As for for the speed seductor, the more the seductee knows you, the more difficult it is to perform speed seduction. Eventually, you will but burnt out and the thing that kept you together in the first place will be gone. Something else is definitely required in the post "speed seduction" stage. Perhaps something like dating.

Anyways, speed seduction is all sweet and I love it.


Your friends are not your wingmen!


Thought I would like to say. If you are committed to be a wingman, then, you have the responsibility to perform your duty as a wingman. If not, you deserve every respect and consideration from your friend -- There is absolution no excuse on this.

Your friend must not be expected to understand your inconsiderate behaviour, nor to be taken advantage of. You must sacrisfy your opportunities for your friends because they are the priority. AND DON'T MAKE A BUSS OVER IT! It is expected of YOU as a friend to be a friend, no one owns you anything.

However, if you are a wingman, you'd be expected to make sacrisfy for each other! The game IS the priority and your job is to be successful. There should be mutual understanding that it will NOT BE FAIR. Once the role of a supportive wingman is established, he will perform his role to provide support and do whatever it takes to assist the pickup. As for the picking up, one has to be totally focused on it and your consideration for your supporting wingmen should be non-existence. Your goal is to maximise your opportunities and support. Your failure will render your supporting wingmen's effort futile and that has to be taken seriously (or not :p).



The code

Hey there,

I was thinking, there are sleezy guys, crazily sex driven guys, dirty, kinky guys. There are guys who will make a move on a woman without any hesitation and with full ferocity. There are men who will disregard their friends to pursue girls of desire with full support from his friends... These men does not necessarily disgust me, but some do. I have been trying to work out why. There are some men with these behaviours that I dispise. And I don't want to be like that. To girls, these guys are rather popular, and often, they don't understand why us fellow men have great distaste for these scums... However, there will always be a silent "nod" from males around him saying "Yup, hes a fucking dickhead".

My theory is that there is an unspoken "Code" that guys follow. This code, once broken, dissipates the trust amongst fellow men and replace it with a deep disrespect. Some of the code I can think of include:

1/. Thou shall not be a cockblock
2/. Thou shall not create superiority by stepping on fellow men
3/. Thou shall not embarrass your friends with creepy behaviour
4/. Thou shall not attempt to compete with fellow men
5/. Thou shall not act cool
6/. Thou shall not....

Alright, that will do for now, I shall refine it later and make it Fabio's Code of guy ethics



Self Improvement

This post is based on the previous two posts:

I find myself identifying with the knight of sword the most. This indicates that I am still mastering this energy and am not very good at it yet. While harnessing the energy of the sword, I exhibit heavily the negative aspects according to others. According to myself, I am exhibiting the positive side of it. Knowing this, it would be benefitial to me to eliminate the negative side of things and magnify the positive things.

From looking at it, a lot of the traits are in a fashion of being the two sides of the same coin. I.e., same nature of a process, but there is another determinant that makes it either positive or negative. Therefore, the first exercise is to take all the negative words and transform them into positive things, and then, all the positive things into negative things. By doing so, I will be able to identify the constant nature of the process. Then I can proceed to identify what is the variable determinant

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Self Analysis -- The Swords

Positive things about the swords:
analytical, articulate, astute, authoritative, clearheaded, clever, dignified, direct, discerning, dispassionate, equitable, ethical, evenhanded, forthright, frank, honest, honorable, impartial, incisive, intellectual, just, keen-minded, knowledgeable, learned, literate, logical, lucid, magisterial, mental, moral, objective, observant, outspoken, penetrating, perspicacious, quick-witted, rational, reasonable, smart, trenchant, truthful, unbiased, unprejudiced, well-informed, witty
Negative things about the swords:
abstruse, aloof, arrogant, autocratic, biting, blunt, cold, condescending, controlling, cool, critical, cutting, detached, distant, dogmatic, domineering, high-handed, imperious, insensitive, intolerant, judgmental, opinionated, overbearing, overintellectualizing, patronizing, remote, standoffish, thoughtless,unaffectionate, unfeeling, unresponsive, unsparing

Also look at my previous post on the way I am today...

The thing is, I have decided that all those qualities are good. And I take pride in them. They work very well on my own and I am very stright on myself to perform the positive qualities. However, it does not come across like that at all to most people. It appears to me that only a very selected few can see the positive side in me. Everyone else see the negative side of me.

I do not feel in anyway about the negative side of the swords to myself. I only know that I am by the thoughts of others, and their criticism. I cannot relate to their feelings but I know they do feel that. I have had bad experience with these things. The effect of it is very very true to me

To that end, I would like to mitigate the negative effects of the swords. I think this will greatly enhance my abilities and polish my strengths. Currently, I am the Knight of swords, opefully, I will move onto the Queen and eventually, the King of swords.


The way I am today

On the positive side, the Knight of Swords is a master of logic and reason. He has a keen intellect that grasps the fine points of any subject. He speaks clearly, directly and always with authority. His judgments are sure and free of emotion. Others rely on his lucid analyses of problems and solutions. On the negative side, this Knight is not a master of diplomacy. He can be downright tactless and rude. When he thinks you are wrong, you'll know it. He's convinced of his own superiority and has little tolerance for stupidity. He expects others to comply with his views. To him, feelings are irrelevant and illogical.

is frank and outspoken..........is tactless and rude
gets straight to the point..........may have a brusque manner
does not mince words..........does not spare the feelings of others
lets others know where they stand..........can't hold his or her tongue
gives an honest answer..........shows little discretion

speaks with assurance..........tends to be domineering
commands attention..........forces a position on others
acts with total certainty..........expects immediate compliance
gives orders naturally..........does not welcome dissent
has great influence..........acts in a high-handed manner

has a keen, forceful intellect..........is prone to biting sarcasm
penetrates to the core..........lacks sensitivity
expresses ideas succinctly..........can be critical
is sharp and alert..........has a barbed wit
debates and argues well..........derides stupidity

knows what he or she is talking about..........believes he or she is always right
can expound on any topic..........lacks tolerance of other viewpoints
is sought as an expert..........must have the last word
has well-reasoned positions..........is arrogant
is highly intelligent.........can be dogmatic and close-minded

reasons clearly..........undervalues intuition
analyzes information well..........treats people like numbers
concentrates on what is correct..........doesn't temper justice with mercy
can set aside emotional factors..........is cut off from emotions
makes sense out of confusion..........is cold and aloof